Being the fat friend, I learned the hard way how men treat women they’re not attracted to. The way they treat women they’re not attracted to speaks to their character and that is a hill I will die on.

It use to really fuck with my self-esteem growing up. It did hurt to be reminded that I wasn’t “desirable” but what tripped me out the most was that niggas couldn’t even *respect* me, at the bare minimum, when trying to get at my thin friends.

No, you don’t have to find me attractive but what really fucked with me was the fact that they didn’t even deem me worthy of respect. They treated me as if I was beneath them or like I was in the way between them and my friend.

One time stands out to me the most. I was in high school and these dudes were trying to get at my best friend in a Walmart parking lot. As they kept trying to talk to her they also kept telling me to go away and go to the nearby McDonald’s while they talked to her.

Another example. Again, high school. My friends and I were in the mall when a group of dudes approached my friends. I was standing off to the side, as usual and then those dudes started making fun of me and my body. Like??

(My friends defended me in all these situations btw)

The most recent one was this last homecoming season, we were at a day party, in line. These dudes trying to holler at my friends. As they were trying to spit game, they kept standing in front of me like I was invisible.

I eventually tapped them on the shoulder and was like “you realize I with them right? *points to friends* why do you keep standing in front of me?” He acted like he ain’t hear me so I just shoulder checked his ass out the way. He goes “damn, you not even that big”..... huh?

One last example. Hanging with my friends at our homegirl’s place. She invites her boo and his friends over. Each of my thin friends were being chatted up by one dude. The one dude left completely ignored me. Like didn’t even make small talk—nothing.

If you can only “respect” women you’re attracted to you do not respect women... period.

I say how a man treats women he’s not attracted to is a reflection of his character because there is nothing for him to gain. Them true colors will come out quick when he’s dealing with someone he don’t find cute. I promise you.

Being the fat friend is exhausting as hell.

UPDATE.

If you read this thread and you think I wanted these men to be *attracted* to me, you need to reflect on what respect actually is.

Attraction is not respect and respect does not inherently come with attraction.

It’s not surprising that men read this thread and thought I was crying about not getting attention from men when I was noting how I was treated subhuman.

To them finding a woman attractive and expressing that IS respect because so much of women’s value is placed on our looks.

Did you know that you can NOT find someone attractive and not treat them like trash? Did you know that you can approach a woman and not treat her less conventionally attractive friend like trash? Did y’all know that?

This thread was also not a cry to be pitied or be reassured by men that I’m indeed fuckable.

I’m beautiful no matter what size I am and I do not need validation from anyone about that. Respect and decency is necessary no matter how desirable you think I am.

THAT was my point