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I needed an open heart surgery ASAP. but because of duodenal ulcer that couldn't be performed. So they suggested me first your ulcer will be treated then you'll be able to get an open heart surgery.
I couldn't eat, i couldn't sleep i was not able to breath on my own. But i had a little hope. All time on the bed. Whoever came to visit me just talked about "Allah ne itni c umar me kia rog lga diya" and it made me more pathetic
My open heart surgery was waiting for me. My physical condition got ready for surgery. But me?? I was so scared. I never be that scared in my life. It was a nightmare. But the life i was living was worst than an open heart surgery. I made up my mind. And agreed to get operated.
But there was a little hope inside me. That I'll survive it. I read the hospital papers and allow them to get my valve replaced through an open heart surgery. I checked out my file but that's another story.
It was so painful after the surgery, Icu, double icu. Surgery ward. Everything was painful, i can't forget. Post open heart surgery i stayed 3 months on bed. And i was not allowed to take a side. There are scars on my chest jo ub b pain krty.
I couldn't take shower my mom used to assist me to shower after surgery for 3 months. I was getting better. Then i was able to walk and eat and sleep again. I was so thankful.
By 2015 i stared getting panic attacks, but in my case if you have a minor cough you should go to the cardiology center. So panic attacks were so worse i had to go the hospital emergency like 11pm sometime 12am. Depression is more worst than heart disease
It's been 4 years with depression im on medication of heart, depression, stomach etc. But everyday im fighting with my depression but it's not easy. being a heart patient depression is worst, it makes you feel like you're not alive you're neither dead. But my fight is not over
Again I'm diagnosed with degenerative valve which means the valve which was replaced started degeneration. And this time it's even more worse. Sometimes I'm at home sometimes I'm at hospital. No matter what doctors says you need another open heart surgery in some time. Well
I've not given up yet. I'm so grateful to Allah for every breath. I love myself that I'm so strong i fought it all. And I'm still fighting. Your every breath is a chance. Be grateful for every little thing you have. "Qk Kal kis ny dekha hai?"
I'm living everyday with a new hope. Irl I'm so funny. I make everyone happy with my jokes. Jo pass hai wo jee lo. Life isn't easy br thankful for your health. It's a great blessing.
My mental illness isn't getting better but I'm fighting doing everything what i can do. But mene jen nhi chor diya!! Don't give up guys never ever. It was hope that made so powerful today. I'm so strong and proud of myself. Love you x
You know what is the most painful?? When people around you say "kuch nahi hai isko drama kryi hai, even a day most beloved person said to me" kia tmhra har waqt ka rona dhona, dunia me iynay heart patient hain tmhn koi anokhi brmari nhi lgi" that's the most painful.
Whatever happened or happening to me isn't that hurting as the "dosrun ki batein torr k rkh deti hain" but i still have courage. I didn't say anything to them. It's me my faith. My trust on Allah. "Log kia khtey hen" is just a painful. So never give a damn whatever they say!
I need positivity around me. My parents they're gems, they're always been there for me every sec. My Allah He never left me alone i talk to Him. He's so Merciful. I can't be grateful enough. Dua is so powerful! In the end i must say never lose HOPE!!
I've never given up, never ever.
I distanced myself from toxic people. I'm putting efforts to find ways to be happier and I have never given up try to be nicer to myself as well as others. I'm on medication too. But I'm getting way much better and better.
#HowIFightDepression
I distanced myself from toxic people. I'm putting efforts to find ways to be happier and I have never given up try to be nicer to myself as well as others. I'm on medication too. But I'm getting way much better and better.
#HowIFightDepression
my sis @twisted_girll is always there in my ups and downs. She was too little on that time still she did made sure to take great care of me. and besides this my own brothers donated me blood whenever needed. I love my family 
It was the worst day of my life. I was having anxiety attack back to back. But no hospital no emergency was willing to attend me. Not even giving me slight treatment.
I stayed on wheelchair the whole day. FIC to civil hospital, to Fatima Ward, then no one could understand the matter which i was suffering. I was like dying.
Each hospital was referring me to another or referred me to ward to ward. But giving no treatment because of heart disease. I was on wheelchair crying like a child because my condition was getting worse.
Then a senior doctor said it's a brain stroke which made my condition even more worst. I remain in that painful situation like 6 hours
Then they recommend CT Scan. Which was Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah normal. But the condition was because of depression, i was getting severe anxiety attacks. Then one of the hospital treated me. And i got some relief from the pain.
Still can't walk properly. But Alhamdulillah much better. It was just a test. Last thing i remember i was reciting Kalma and smiling through the pain. But i didn't give up.
This duniya is test. Nothing will last forever. Always remember to thanx Allah whatever you have specially for good health.
Still I'm not able to walk on my feet. Can't fold the legs. Too much pain in the joints. But Allah SWT gave me so much SABR. He's the Merciful indeed.
And the people who are around me like "phly dil ka masla tha, ub brain ka masla hogya" and i just replied I'm fine. I'm okay :)
I'll be fine In Sha Allah. I'll not lose hope.
I'm surviving. It will be all okay. It's just a test. I'm Warrior!!!
I'm surviving. It will be all okay. It's just a test. I'm Warrior!!!
Yesterday got 6 episodes of anxiety attacks. And it was the worst, like everything was ended. I remained unconscious too. 6 hours faced that situation. And hospitals did nothing but referring to other hospitals or wards.
The thing is i was having strokes back to back episodes but no one was treated me. Neither public hospitals nor private. They were saying "you're heart patient, we can't give you treatment" and referring me to another and another. Those were brain strokes.
Me and my family both were helpless. Like my condition was getting worse and no one was agree to treat me. What to do in such condition or situations ???
I was not able to walk on my own feet past 3 days. Today Alhamdulillah I'm able to walk by myself but slowly. In Sha Allah I'll be fine again!! 
I was again admitted in cardiac emergency for 12 days with infection and high grade fever. I was so scared when got admitted me. My surgeon visited me also and said if you're not getting wellnwe have to redo the open heart surgery.
And i can't describe that feelings.
And i can't describe that feelings.
Allah is Merciful. We are so ungrateful. He saved me again. Even though i had too many episodes of unconsciousness. And many other issues. After 12 days medication, finally I'm getting better. I'm home now. It was like miracle as my condition was getting worse. And
And Drs had a doubt there could be vegetation / germs on heart valves. But Alhamdulillah Allah saved me. Everything got better. They confirmed through so many procedures i.e blood culture, Chest Xray, Echo cardiography, again Echo by consultant, and at the end They performed TEE
TEE was so painful. It was like I'm dying i couldn't breath. But my replaced heart valve was safe. Alhamdulillah i can't Thank my Allah enough,giving me another chance. I had hope. And, I again survived. We should be thankful in every situation.
My latest ECG. Please pray for me. K me bilkul thk hojaun. I was in emergency tho. Strong enough to fight back with my heart disease. Even my replaced Valve has a leakage but I'll survive In Sha Allah. I've HOPE!!!
