I’ve never had a one night stand. I’ve always been a germaphobe, so I’ve never even been remotely interested in it.

But a few years back I felt like I wanted to partake. I wanted to be a go for one night. Just do it! So I was in the club and me and a shorty were hitting it off. All night.

We danced all night together. Bought each other drinks. It’s time to go, so I’m like okay yes this is my chance!

As soon as we’re outside, I ask her what she doing after this. She’s like you if you come with me. And I’m like

So I start following her to her car. I told my homies I’d text them when I got there and to send the address, because that’s how my anxiety works.

But then as I’m walking, I’m getting nervous AF. Like omg, idk this woman. We can’t just smash. So I’m like aye, let’s stop at a store so I can grab some condoms.

Shorty dropped her keys and purse and everything and was like wait, wtf? You a nigga? And I’m like nah. So she was like what we need condoms for. And I was like well, we don’t know each other.

& she was like well if you’re not a dude it ain’t like ima get pregnant. So whatever attraction I had in that moment disappeared.

I was like well, condoms aren’t just to prevent pregnancies. They’re used as barriers to prevent the spread of STDs. She gone say, girls can’t give girls diseases. And I was like....

I was lit so I was tempted to give her a sex ed lesson. But I just dipped and told her to drive safely. I fucking sprinted back to my friends. I’ve never ran away so fast in my life.

& so I’ve still never had one. & I take this as a sign from the universe that I didn’t need to.