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OK folks, looks like it is time to start another thread.
The hashtag this time is #YeBhaaratKePatrakaar!
Here's the first sample! https://twitter.com/Sootradhar/status/1118234676471062528
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Bhai pehle decide kar lo kisne kis par assault kiya!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Maths thoda kamzor hai hamara!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Yup, BREAKING NEWS indeed!
🤣
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We have finally found the answer to Akkal Badi Ya Bhains.
It is BHAINS which is bigger!
Here is proof by one of our most 'renowned' Patrakaars!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Glamour Parmo Dharmah!
So what if it is about the story of a lady who talks about sexist stereotypes.
In any case, irony never was our strongest quality, right?
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Arre bhai, ye kaisi democracy chala di in India Today waalon ne?
🤣
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Sometime in 2012 IIRC - Aur ye rahi Ek Bagh aur Baaghin ki Prem Kahani, India TV ki zubaani!
It has all the twists - Love Sex aur Dhokha!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Fact Checking?
Oh, we outsource that to the social media!
For us, Agenda reigns supreme, not facts!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Our opinions too keep 'evolving' .. you cannot call them double standards!
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#YeBhaarataKePatrakaar
If only jumping to (unsubstantiated) conclusions was an Olympic Sport .. By God Ki Kasam, ITNE SAARE medal lekar aate hum log!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Oh, btw, we have a new definition of 'Classy'.
It means someone who DOES NOT support the Indian Armed Forces!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
THANK GOD FOR DOORDARSHAN!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
And we can do magic too - for example, we can 'magically' turn the burning towers of the World Trade Center into power plants that pollute India!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
ALWAYS remember - hum karein toh 'evolving' opinions!
😂
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Atleast they got the word 'Council' correct!
🤣
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
If only she had consulted a dictionary or maybe that English guide book this joker was supposedly consulting, she might have found the correct spelling of stationEry!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
So the BSF guns down Paki intruders, and what do we do?
We promptly pic up a pic of an Indian Army Operation in Arnia and publish it with our report!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
It was an India Vs Australia match, but to our horror, Australia started bowling against Australia after winning the toss!
Hamari bechari Indian team ki to uss din ki दिहाड़ी maari gayi!
😂
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
And we keep it 'classy'.
ALWAYS!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Beti Padhao .. tabhi toh protest ke time placard seedha pakdegi bechari!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We are also connoisseurs of fine art and budding artists, no matter how depraved they might be!
But we are simply appalled by the way common people keep offering us gratuitous advice, seriously.
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
I simply REFUSE to accept this 'clarification' .. ulta aur confuse kar diya hai mere ko!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Our biggest 'achievement' is that of exporting our editorial 'standards' abroad, Sachchi!
😂
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Not very many would be aware, but we are military experts par excellence too.
For example, we know that you need to have a minimum of 21 fatalities, else your battle will be called 'not much of a battle'.
Take that, Clausewitz!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Thank God no one has yet done a survey of which profession 'boasts' of the largest gathering of double digit IQ dimwits, else, we'd be world famous!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
When the editor of The Telegraph said that removal of Modi wass a 'righteous' task!
Yup .. we are as unbiased as it can get!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Anyone remember the movie 'Face-Off'?
Well, we can do it too .. and that too, along with a rest of the body switch!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaari
Different festivals .. same fasting .. different coloured glasses from which we view them!
One type of fasting is unhealthy while the other is .. well .. AWESOME!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Oh, while we are at the topic of double standards, here's what we think of freedom of speech - it too is relative, depending upon our blinkered worldview!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
And who can forget this twitter poll by @vivekagnihotri!
Saala ZERO percent vote diya hamare ko!
Heck, more people voted that they believe Pakistan than they believed in Indian Media!
Itni Izzat mili ki aankhon mein aansu aa gaye .. subak .. subak
😭
32
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Will someone please tell these idiots that the Great Indian Bustard is a BIRD!
Arre bhai, wikipedia hee dekh lete!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Oh, the 'love' and 'affection' we get from our 'fans'!
Mindblowing, I tell you!
😂
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Sometimes we also wish death for 'inconvenient' politicians.
But when called out for the 'jokers' that we are, we delete such tweets.
Btw, I really didn't know whether to post this here or in #NDTV thread since her Twitter bio says 'Now NDTV'!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar

Dear @financialxpress,

The bird in the pic is
1. NOT THE HAWK
2. NOT SINGLE ENGINED
3. NOT JET POWERED
4. NOT A TRAINER
5. NOT USED FOR FINAL STAGE OF FIGHTER PILOT TRAINING

#JustSaying
🤣
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
The only problem with a low IQ and disconnect with our own culture is that we open ourselves to such 'showing of mirrors' by any and everyone!
Arre bhai, Puja ka muhurat samaapt hone tak toh intezar kar liya hota 'peaceful' diwali tweet karne se pehle!
🤣
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Anyone remember this piece which led to the sacking of IANS Bureau Chief and Political Editor?
Personal political biases are still understandable.
But it takes a special kind of idiot to lose his/her job over it!
Bloody Unprofessional Dolts!
😂
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
While on the topic of 'inadvertant' postings on official handles by the idiots who are entrusted with them, this one from @aajtak is in a league of its own!
^^
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
As if that were not enough, they then went on to apologize and explain it away using the OFFICIAL @aajtak handle yet again!
Some people are just born special, I tell you!
Well, atleast they had the decency to call their dolt patrakaar a human!
🤣
^^
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Aur phir thook kar chaatna toh hamein aata hee hai!
But we will forever be pained at the fact that despite our begging, that too from the official @aajtak handle, this person DID NOT DELETE the tweet .. 😢
^^
41
While on @aajtak, let us make one thing amply clear - We at Aaj Tak are soooo unbiased that even a statement by a fake account purporting one of our star anchors supporting an elected Prime Minister will call for a 'fact check' to let the entire world know that she DOESN'T!
42
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Damn those parody sites / blogs from where we end up lifting .. err .. sourcing our stories!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
The Hindu won the 'fastest finger first' contest when it came to reporting the molestation of a dying woman. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a totally fake story just as fast!
Atleast they fast with an apology!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Refer tweets 38, 39 and 40.
HERE is the genius who did it!
Of course, the request for an act of kindness was inevitable, no?
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Of course, ANYBODY'S job would be at risk for this idiocy - not for having a political opinion, mind you, but instead for NOT knowing how to responsibly handle an official social media account!
Then there were those trying to protect her!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
And then there was this, now deleted, 'Lol!' from India Today!
I do get a feeling that this too was supposed to go from the personal handle of some joker!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
I don't know why, but the above 7-8 tweets reminded me of this short, 43 second long video!
Do watch.
I insist!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Jumping to conclusions koi hum se seekhe!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
This tweet should be seen in conjunction with Tweet Number 10 of this thread!
Truly made for each other, this couple!
God Bless them!
Oh, btw, Irony just jumped off the London Bridge and committed suicide!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
This tweet I'll just leave here without adding any comment https://twitter.com/chintan20/status/1137296552253370368
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Before moving on, let me just plug my NDTV thread in here! https://twitter.com/CestMoiz/status/906173482051944448
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Arre yaar, koi ED waalon ko batao ki #YeBhaaratKePatrakaar are actually permitted to launder money .. it will save so much of their time!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
And while you are at it, PLEASE tell SEBI also to let us play our little 'games' with our shareholders' money, no?
😢
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Crassness in reporting is our forte. Mind it!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
While on the topic of crassness, I think this one takes the cake.
Make one wonder as to what kind of people do some media houses hire - right from the lowly intern who would have drafted this 'clever' ticker, to the editor who permitted it to be aired.
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Yo Hindu so 'secular' that they relegate the fact that countrymade weapons with live cartridges were recovered as well, to the fourth paragraph in the report. No mention of that in the headline either because, well, beef 'sells'!
(No pun intended!)
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Double standards?
Hain?
Woh kya hota hai jee?
😂
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Pics 1 & 2: Media only doing its duty by reporting the 'truth'.
Pic 3 - I have ALWAYS believed media was atleast partially to blame in the fracas that accompanied the case.

'nuff said!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Damn this social media and the people that keep shining mirrors right into our faces
😭
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Strange is their fascination (some ppl call it fetish) with terrorists & their 'unfortunate' circumstances!
I bet they haven't done even a fifth of such stories on martyred soldiers as for terrorists.
And then they take umbrage when called 'Presstitutes'!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Oh, and while we are on the topic of 'Presstitutes', I'll just leave this cartoon here as I close this thread for the time being!
It was published in the wake of the Presstitute wala tweet by Gen VK Singh!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
1/2
Dear @EconomicTimes,
1. The bird in the pic is NOT an IAF Bird.
2. The 'Airfield' in the pic is actually an Aircraft Carrier, NO Air Force planes fly from it.
3. The Aircraft Carrier in the pic is itself a CHINESE aircraft carrier - The Liaoning
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
I would like to hereby take credit for being the reason why the New Indian Express deleted their tweet quoted in the tweet below!
I'm sure good folks will still be able to guess as to what that tweet was about! https://twitter.com/CestMoiz/status/727788295128682496
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Dear @htTweets, he was killed due to property, NOT 'coz he was Dalit.
But then, we understand why you do this.
Seriously!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
I KNEW IT!
There was indeed a Russian hand in the recent Karnataka political crisis!
🤣🤣
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Reality bites!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Irony read this.
Then it bought one month worth of editions of The Hindu, along with some articles it printed from BBC website.
It made a pile of all that paper & set it on fire.
Then it jumped into it
Irony is dead, folks. Do observe a minute of silence!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Glamour Paramo Dharmah!
#Facepalm!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
China is confused - Trump is selling F-16s to Taiwan, but Times of India is showing photos of Mirage 2000s!
Ye ho kya raha hai bhai?
🤣🤣
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
This 'eminent' journo is in a league of her own.
How did she get there you asked?
Well, by sharing a three year old article in the context of the removal of Article 370 in 2019!
Sheer genius, I tell you.
Shame on those who call her a Category 5 Moron!
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
They will cry themselves hoarse, shouting INTOLERANCE.
But then, you make ONE tweet about make-up, and they block you.
Bleddy Intolerant 'Liberals', I tell you!
🤣
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Magistrate saheb ka phone chori ho gaya hai.
Hum Magistrate Saheb ko lagataar sms aur phone kar rahe hain aur jaankaari haasil karne ke liye. Pata nahi kyon woh koi jawab nahi de rahe ..
🤣
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Omar, Mufti and Amit Shah - in their latest camouflage!
So excellent is the camouflage that they look like Sourav Ganguly, Niranjan Shah and Rajeev Shukla!
🤣
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Dear News18, if an employee uses your handle in his bio, does that mean that with the disclaimer 'tweets are personal', he can post any shit without you being concerned that he will be a neutral person when donning his professional hat?
#JustAsking
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#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
This one is a gem!
Just came across it in my archives!
🤣
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
She is my friend.
I swear she was 'harassed' so badly in Kerala.
Actual location of 'harassment' = Bengaluru.

Inka geography thoda kamzor nikla!
Btw, she travelled all the way to a movie, but couldn't stand for 52seconds!
And then, she got up and went home!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Folks, welcome to The Assam Tribune, where soldiers guarding the Nation are 'Killed' while those throwing stones and damaging public property are 'Martyrs'.
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
From four years ago!

It's ok that they mistook Republic for Independence Day.
Ho jata hai kabhi kabhi.
But what alarms me is that they couldn't even spell 'Independence' right!
🤣
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Nikamme!
Jet Airways is perhaps the latest 'down to earth' airline in India.
Wonder how long before the good folks at Firstpost ban this 'gentleman' from flying with Kingfisher as well!
🤣
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Mirror Mirror On The Wall
Who's the Fairest of them ... Oh Never Mind ..
:D https://twitter.com/ShekharGupta/status/993710993107800064
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
'Fastest Finger First' is our mantra, Fact checking be damned!
Even if it is with respect to news that might result in communal riots, esp in the currently supercharged environment.
Ack Thoo on these people.
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Atleast they got the 'Abhijit' part right.
Too bad the Abhijit that their millennial intern googled was a singer and not an economist!
:D
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Agenda Ooncha Rahe Hamara .. until the Finance Minister herself calls out our false and malicious reporting, that is.
If that happens, we will apologize, check our 'facts' again from our WhatsApp groups and carry on!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Kahin ki Headline
Kahin ki Kahani!

Print ke deshbhakton ki zabaani!
:D
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Q:How do you know that All England Open Badminton Championship, Arjuna Award, Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, Padma Shri, Dronacharya Award & Padma Bhushan winner Pullela Gopichand is a 'little-known' person?
A:An idiot intern at India Today has never heard of him!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Pic 1: Ghar se Nikalte Hee
Pic 2: Kuchh Duur Chalte Hee
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
So this one seems a bit upset.
Why, you asked?
Well because India no longer seeks aid from the world, but SENDS them aid instead!!
🤦‍♂️
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We learnt in primary school that April has 30 days.. well, atleast 99.9999% of us did.
As for the balance 0.0001%, well some of them became 'star' journalists who rely upon 'inkie pinkie ponkie' to make 'educated' guesses about which month has how many days!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Now that's a V.E.R.Y unfortunate typo, I'd say!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Quite the Oracle, I must say.
This one saw the fire happen even before it happened!
🤣
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Good Friday पर खुशियाँ मनाते हैं.
इतनी खुशियाँ, कि Easter के अंडों की भी दो दिन पहले ही भुर्जी बना कर खा लेते हैं!
🤣
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Saala, ye Ramayan ke zamane ke Asur bhi humko chhed kar chale jate hain!
:D
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Keeping it classy.
ALWAYS!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We will NOT shy away from wishing ill of our democratically elected Prime Minister and his Home Minister.
But when called out for the bigots that we are, we WILL deactivate our twitter accounts (even if temporarily) and run away!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We will NEVER let you down, esp when it comes to wishing death to democratically elected leaders, just 'coz we don't subscribe to their ideologies.
Oh, and we wont even give a damn about maintaining even a pretense of political neutrality while we are at it!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
When we can wish deaths to political leaders, you should hardly be surprised when we kill off these 'chhota-mota' RWA Presidents, that too without seeking their permission to do so!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
I don't even know what to say about this 'EXCLUSIVE' analysis of the Prime Minister's address to the Nation!!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We too have our set of principles.
.
.
.
BUT
.
.
.
In case you don't agree with our set of principles, we have other sets of principles as well!

R.I.P Irony!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Samay Samay ki baat hai .. Kabhi Kabhi Electrical grid khatre mein aa jati hai, or kabhi kabhi nahi aati!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
All it takes is a simple google search to realize that INS Angre is not a ship, but a shore based installation instead!
Lekin Aaj Tak walon ne toh usko samundar mein dubaane ki pratigya le rakhi hai jaise!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
First thing that I do once I come across such a tweet is to check the bio of the person tweeting it.
You'll be surprised at how often I find the word 'journalist' there!
Even a basic google search would have told u why u shouldn't make a fool of yourself!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
This 'Inkie Pinkie Ponkie' journo (refer 14 tweets above for context. Pl do. I INSIST!), irony is that despite being a VERY SENIOR journo, she doesn't know the basics of demand & supply, something taught in amongst the first economics lessons in high school!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Oh, btw, some of us are feminists too!
Just be advised that our feminism itself is a bit .. err .. selective!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
One thing that is absolutely consistent in us is our inconsistency!
But then, spitting and licking it back is no big deal, right?
:D
(Yup, I know most of you read the first sentence twice!)
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Kaun terrorist hai aur kaun activist, iska certificate bhi dete hain hum log!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Aur haan, humse bada 'secular' bhi koi nahi hota iss duniya mein. Yaad rahe hamesha!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Oh, and we give private lessons in tolerance as well!
.
.
.
Naah, Just Kidding!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Btw, in our quest for pushing our agendas, we won't even hesitate in retweeting crap from PARODY accounts!
1/2
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Sanctimonious lectures come naturally to us, especially when it is about rival media houses!
But ..
2/2
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
But .. we don't really like it when good folks shine a mirror in our faces by quoting tweets from this very thread! https://twitter.com/SanjayShedge2/status/1252606791650770947
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
It is only natural that there are times when our 'reading habits' end up colouring our professional work as well, because .. err .. we read a lot!! https://twitter.com/Mohansinha/status/1252490736466944000
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Someone: There once was an idiot who tweeted something idiotic.
Reporter Madam: MEEE .. IT WAS ME!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We also become GandhiJi ka Bandar (the one with his eyes covered) when an official POLICE handle calls us out for our fakery.
So much so, that we STILL won't delete the FAKE REPORT / TWEET!
Freedom of Speech, you see!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
All it took was a mere 15 minutes!
^^
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Of course, alibis are always at hand.
Data was erroneous, no doubt, but apparently the graphic too needed some 'editing'!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Then there are times when we shoot from our hips, though a tad bit prematurely!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Pic 1 - HOW DARE THEY LODGE AN FIR AGAINST OUR HONEST REPORTING?
Pic 2 - err .. let us add a 'note' saying that we lied in our original report!

Very clever, I'd say!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Ho jati hai fake news hum se tweet kabhi kabhi.
Kuchh nahi hota, baad mein phir hum delete bhi toh kar dete hain aise tweets ko!

Allegation: Tirumala Tirupati temple closed AFTER Tablighi congregation caught.

Fact: Temple had closed on 19 March itself!
^^
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Btw, for those interested, here is the link to the now deleted tweet : https://twitter.com/sakshijoshii/status/1245209839212486658
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Supreme Court: Migration of lakhs of labourers was driven by fake news that lockdown would extend for 3 months.
Star Journalist: Chalo, kaam ho gaya. Ab tweet deleted kar dete hain!

Am I the only one who sees a pattern here?
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
This one as well.
Same template - tweet fake news. Then delete.
What are the odds that screenshots of such tweets would have been shared on WA by ppl NOT knowing these have now been deleted?
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
In our quest for 'fastest finger first', facts don't matter one bit, especially when we can ALWAYS issue a 'clarification' later on.
So what if it adds to the confusion / panic in the middle of a pandemic, hainji?
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
About two years ago I made a pledge to myself that I will NOT use cuss words any more. I have more or less been successful in keeping my language clean. But jokers like these ones do test my resolve. A LOT!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Late night .. chhote chhote lagane ke baad .. asli 'heroes' saamne aa hi jate hain.
Btw, this tweet didn't last long on this 'eminent' journo's timeline .. guess he too knew his hero worship is best kept private!
Do google about folks he is so pained for!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
(Refer two tweets above)
So committed we are to the truth, that we will call out ALL fake news peddlers, with aplomb .. even if it includes ourselves as well!
:D
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Refer 9 tweets above.
I'll just leave this tweet here!
https://twitter.com/SaumyaSilk/status/1249292137771888640
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde stories in real life!
Step 1: Showcase your bigotry
Step 2: Send smilies & profess your (fake) love for the other in DM, when called out for being a bigot
Step 3: Go crying to the police for being called out

Hypocrisy runs in our veins!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Oh, and did she tell you that she suffers from homophobia as well?
लेकिन ज्ञान बाँटने में सबसे आगे.
हमेशा
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Wishing death to others just because we don't agree with their political orientation comes soooooo naturally to some of us!
(Link to FB Post, now deleted: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10222976603468041&id=1367644348)
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Here is another one, wishing death to the democratically elected Home Minister of the Union of India.
Of course, they would STILL claim neutral and 'unbiased' reporting!
Much of Indian Media sure seems to be a cesspool filled with such vermin.
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Har koi humo chhittar maar ke chala jata hai .. pata nahi kyon .. thoda sa jhooth bhi nahi likh sakte ab kya hum?
😭😭
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Ye wala bhi shayad 'ati sattvik' roop se beizzati kar gaya jaisa lagta hai!
😭😭
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Folks, we should be eternally grateful to The Wire for not calling them 'Freedom Fighters' .. Yet.
Btw, I wonder why they deleted this tweet 🤔
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
The 'inkie pinkie ponkie' journalist strikes again!
This time she mercilessly turns basic economics logic on its head and then goes on to 'kill it till it dies'!
🤦‍♂️😁
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
So what if we cannot find a 'scoop', hainji?
We can always create one!!
Who needs to do real 'journalism'!!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Kaun HAIN ye log?
Kahan se aate hain ye?
Kyon apne gyan ki 'gehrai' sabke saamne dikhaate hain ye?
REVENUE and PROFIT are two different things, dolts!
🤦‍♂️
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We are VERY firm in our 'beliefs'.
SOOOOOO firm, that it takes is SEVEN full days to change them!
Btw, this tweet is NOT sexist at all.
When they are boys, the MUST be prosecuted, regardless of age.
But when it is a girl, she is just a CHILD!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Oh, btw, this happened some time ago.
Or maybe a looooong time ago.
Who knows!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
There are migrants who are walking hundreds of kilometres in the unforgiving Indian summer.
Then there are 'migrants' who are comfortably tweeting from their air-conditioned apartments using their iphones.
Bloody vultures, I'd say.
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Our rights are UNASSAILABLE.
As for others' rights .. well .. WE will decide whether they deserve those or not!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Heads I win
Tails you lose!
And then they take offense when General VK Singh calls them Presstitutes!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We KNOW the bitter truth.
Heck, sometimes we even tweet about it.
But then, realization strikes soon enough - the bitter truth does NOT conform to our agendas.
So we delete the 'offending' tweet!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Aur yeh hain hamare desh ke 'Bahut Krantikaari' journalist sahab.
Fact checking kya hoti hai, yeh inko inki 'Krantikaari' coaching class wale sikhana bhool gaye lagta hai!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
इसको कहते हैं चप्पल गीली करके मारना!
But I doubt the 'worthies' of The Wire will change their brand of journalism, ever!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Happily Stealing Content, without even caring to acknowledge it was created by someone else!
And then they take umbrage when called #Presstitutes! https://twitter.com/KesariDhwaj/status/1270247069861597185
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Bloody Vultures.
Period.
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Keeping it classy. ALWAYS.
Bloody Vultures.
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Fake outrage results in only one outcome - getting 'gently' coached by the good folks!
In any case, 'motivated' journalism hardly bothers about research / authenticity!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Yet another #ChinaGetOut shouting fest.
But this one is a once in a lifetime affair because, well, it is sponsored by Vivo - a Chinese company!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Fastest Finger First, even if it means mindlessly stealing someone's personal photographs from their social media accounts & sticking it on a murder report, even if they are NOT related to the incident!
Then they take umbrage upon being called #Presstitutes!
^^
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Of course, when caught with their pants down, blame it on 'inadvertent' errors!
Of course, this 'inadvertent' error meant spending atleast a few minutes on Facebook, searching for ANYONE by that name!
A bunch of bloody idiots running a NATIONAL newspaper!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
'Azad Kashmir' is what Pakis call the parts of the erstwhile Princely state of Jammu and Kashmir under their illegal subjugation.
And Yup, these 'Indian' Presstitutes as well.
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
The Hindu - STOP FELLING TREES FOR HINDU RITUALS
Also The Hindu - Hey, look at the beautiful wooden partitions in our office!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
I sometimes wonder as to what a bit IDIOT must one be to even think such an obviously 'cheeky' tweet worthy of a 'Fact Check'!
And then how dense a supervisor would have to be to actually let it be published in a NATIONAL news portal!
:FACEPALM:
😂
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
A bit too many details, no?
Thank God they didn't flash photos of the act!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
1 of 2:
Cheekiness runs in our blood.
So what if it is a Firangi disparaging our own country, hainji?
Presstitutes' agenda reigns supreme!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
2 of 2:
Of course, going by her logic, even these Indian Army soldiers and ITBP troopers are .. well .. guilty of being Nazis?
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Dear TOI, none of these aircraft look like the Poseidon, no?
Or is it the crow in the picture that you are hinting at?
🤔
🤣
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Hmm .. I wonder why they chose NOT to write the word 'Nadi' after 'Ghagara'!
Or knowing them, perhaps it is something else that they are insinuating?
😂
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Ye wala toh chappal geeli karke maar gaya re!
🤣
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Yes, we will wish death and destruction to the Motherland, just because we don't endorse a DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED government that is brought into power by fellow citizens after due electoral process.
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Lo ji, we have a new minister in the Union Cabinet!
:D
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
BREAKING!!
India launches Bollywood satellite!
:D
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Ye kya positive karwa diya inhone!
Aur ye kaun si nahi ministry khol di Bhaarat Sarkaarne - HealthY Ministry!
:D
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
BREAKING NEWS - Celebrities also fart during pregnancy, just like human beings!
🤣
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Bechare Cheeni bhi soch rahe honge ki ye wala jahaj unhone kab khareeda!
🤣
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Postman ko bhi nahi chhodenge .. uska bhi statement lenge!
Jawab lekin yahi milega - 'Arre Main Postman Hoon'!
I wonder what else was this Postman Saab muttering under his breath!
:D
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Freedom of Speech sirf hum logon ke liye hai.
Koi Shaq?
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Fastest Finger First!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Here's yet another sample.
What galls is not their bigotry, but instead their utter ignorance of how social media works!
Truly said - Pay peanuts, and you'll only get monkeys!
Here's the archival link of the now deleted tweet, btw - https://archive.is/FNOrm 
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Negative news about the Nation deserve absolutely NO fact-checking!
So what if we end up eating crow, hainji?
Aren't we already used to that?
:D
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Some WhatsApp chats should be leaked and stories done on them, while some WhatsApp chats are strictly private!
Samjhe kya?
🤣
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
From Madison Square in the USA to Mumbai, the entire world is our boxing ring .. WE . SHALL . KEEP . FIGHTING!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
For those not aware of the Madison analogy, here is the 'Boxer Bhai' at his best in the USA. Freedom of speech, especially for others, can always be countered by physical violence, mind you!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Editor:
Ladki Hai.
Pilot Hai.
Air Force Ki Hai.
Rafale Udayegi.
Get me a photo.

Intern: Gets a photo of a woman aviator of the Navy in front of a Dornier which says 'NAUSENA' in boldest of letters!

Lekin confidence poora hai!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We are the Judge, Jury and Executioner, all rolled into one!
Oh, just in case someone calls us out for the hypocrites that we are, we can always reply with 'Ok, will see the video'!
Yup, we will spew nonsense without even bothering with facts!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
This one reminded me of the song, 'Ek Chatur Naar'!
Indeed a clever one. Fooled MANY to believe it was the International Court of Justice that had an issue!
Btw, I am also thinking of moving a motion in my RWA to declare her an idiot. Let's see how it goes!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Abhi aur bhi zaleel hona hai hamein!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
ये कहाँ से लॉन्च कर दिया ब्रह्मोस मिसाइल को 😭😭
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Geography Ki ..
🤣
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We WILL leak private conversations / chats of all and sundry with no regard to their right to privacy. But don't you DARE leak our conversations, we are warning you!
Btw, NO #Presstitute talking about the content wherein a colleague is actually instigating!
^^
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
BTW .. https://twitter.com/CestMoiz/status/1312279251396096003
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Only WE reserve the right to use foul language. And we will NOT fail to call you out if you dare usurp this exclusive 'privilege'.
Oh, and btw, you don't deserve the right to reply to our tweets either. FOE sirf hamare liye hai!
Got that, you IDIOTS?
🤣
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Ah, well .. Freedom of Speech et al .. https://twitter.com/alok_bhatt/status/1312323020636057600
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We WILL let out serious sounding statements at our perceived loss of privacy .. BUT .. we will maintain a studied silence at the fact that that it might be a recorded conversation at either end that might have gotten leaked!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We will keep on doing 'stings' and also reporting on 'exclusively accessed' private chats / conversations. There are absolutely no moral dilemmas in such a case .. but if someone does that to us, we will cry you a river!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
Oh, btw, our editorial standards too are not very good either!
What to do .. getting good quality people who can do a basic fact check is so difficult these days, you see!
#YeBhaaratKePatrakaar
We will unfailingly report whatever you have to say.
And so committed are we to our job of 'objective' reporting that we will also TELL you what to say, before the cameras start rolling!
You can follow @CestMoiz.
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