OK folks, looks like it is time to start another thread.
The hashtag this time is #YeBhaaratKePatrakaar!
Here's the first sample! https://twitter.com/Sootradhar/status/1118234676471062528
Bhai pehle decide kar lo kisne kis par assault kiya!
Maths thoda kamzor hai hamara!
Yup, BREAKING NEWS indeed!
We have finally found the answer to Akkal Badi Ya Bhains.
It is BHAINS which is bigger!
Here is proof by one of our most 'renowned' Patrakaars!
Glamour Parmo Dharmah!
So what if it is about the story of a lady who talks about sexist stereotypes.
In any case, irony never was our strongest quality, right?
Arre bhai, ye kaisi democracy chala di in India Today waalon ne?
Sometime in 2012 IIRC - Aur ye rahi Ek Bagh aur Baaghin ki Prem Kahani, India TV ki zubaani!
It has all the twists - Love Sex aur Dhokha!
Oh, we outsource that to the social media!
For us, Agenda reigns supreme, not facts!
Our opinions too keep 'evolving' .. you cannot call them double standards!
If only jumping to (unsubstantiated) conclusions was an Olympic Sport .. By God Ki Kasam, ITNE SAARE medal lekar aate hum log!
Oh, btw, we have a new definition of 'Classy'.
It means someone who DOES NOT support the Indian Armed Forces!
THANK GOD FOR DOORDARSHAN!
And we can do magic too - for example, we can 'magically' turn the burning towers of the World Trade Center into power plants that pollute India!
ALWAYS remember - hum karein toh 'evolving' opinions!
Atleast they got the word 'Council' correct!
If only she had consulted a dictionary or maybe that English guide book this joker was supposedly consulting, she might have found the correct spelling of stationEry!
So the BSF guns down Paki intruders, and what do we do?
We promptly pic up a pic of an Indian Army Operation in Arnia and publish it with our report!
It was an India Vs Australia match, but to our horror, Australia started bowling against Australia after winning the toss!
Hamari bechari Indian team ki to uss din ki दिहाड़ी maari gayi!
And we keep it 'classy'.
Beti Padhao .. tabhi toh protest ke time placard seedha pakdegi bechari!
We are also connoisseurs of fine art and budding artists, no matter how depraved they might be!
But we are simply appalled by the way common people keep offering us gratuitous advice, seriously.
I simply REFUSE to accept this 'clarification' .. ulta aur confuse kar diya hai mere ko!
Our biggest 'achievement' is that of exporting our editorial 'standards' abroad, Sachchi!
Not very many would be aware, but we are military experts par excellence too.
For example, we know that you need to have a minimum of 21 fatalities, else your battle will be called 'not much of a battle'.
Take that, Clausewitz!
Thank God no one has yet done a survey of which profession 'boasts' of the largest gathering of double digit IQ dimwits, else, we'd be world famous!
When the editor of The Telegraph said that removal of Modi wass a 'righteous' task!
Yup .. we are as unbiased as it can get!
Anyone remember the movie 'Face-Off'?
Well, we can do it too .. and that too, along with a rest of the body switch!
Different festivals .. same fasting .. different coloured glasses from which we view them!
One type of fasting is unhealthy while the other is .. well .. AWESOME!
Oh, while we are at the topic of double standards, here's what we think of freedom of speech - it too is relative, depending upon our blinkered worldview!
And who can forget this twitter poll by @vivekagnihotri!
Saala ZERO percent vote diya hamare ko!
Heck, more people voted that they believe Pakistan than they believed in Indian Media!
Itni Izzat mili ki aankhon mein aansu aa gaye .. subak .. subak
Will someone please tell these idiots that the Great Indian Bustard is a BIRD!
Arre bhai, wikipedia hee dekh lete!
Oh, the 'love' and 'affection' we get from our 'fans'!
Mindblowing, I tell you!
Sometimes we also wish death for 'inconvenient' politicians.
But when called out for the 'jokers' that we are, we delete such tweets.
Btw, I really didn't know whether to post this here or in #NDTV thread since her Twitter bio says 'Now NDTV'!
The bird in the pic is
1. NOT THE HAWK
2. NOT SINGLE ENGINED
3. NOT JET POWERED
4. NOT A TRAINER
5. NOT USED FOR FINAL STAGE OF FIGHTER PILOT TRAINING
The only problem with a low IQ and disconnect with our own culture is that we open ourselves to such 'showing of mirrors' by any and everyone!
Arre bhai, Puja ka muhurat samaapt hone tak toh intezar kar liya hota 'peaceful' diwali tweet karne se pehle!
Anyone remember this piece which led to the sacking of IANS Bureau Chief and Political Editor?
Personal political biases are still understandable.
But it takes a special kind of idiot to lose his/her job over it!
Bloody Unprofessional Dolts!
While on the topic of 'inadvertant' postings on official handles by the idiots who are entrusted with them, this one from @aajtak is in a league of its own!
As if that were not enough, they then went on to apologize and explain it away using the OFFICIAL @aajtak handle yet again!
Some people are just born special, I tell you!
Well, atleast they had the decency to call their dolt patrakaar a human!
Aur phir thook kar chaatna toh hamein aata hee hai!
But we will forever be pained at the fact that despite our begging, that too from the official @aajtak handle, this person DID NOT DELETE the tweet ..
While on @aajtak, let us make one thing amply clear - We at Aaj Tak are soooo unbiased that even a statement by a fake account purporting one of our star anchors supporting an elected Prime Minister will call for a 'fact check' to let the entire world know that she DOESN'T!
Damn those parody sites / blogs from where we end up lifting .. err .. sourcing our stories!
The Hindu won the 'fastest finger first' contest when it came to reporting the molestation of a dying woman. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a totally fake story just as fast!
Atleast they fast with an apology!
Refer tweets 38, 39 and 40.
HERE is the genius who did it!
Of course, the request for an act of kindness was inevitable, no?
Of course, ANYBODY'S job would be at risk for this idiocy - not for having a political opinion, mind you, but instead for NOT knowing how to responsibly handle an official social media account!
Then there were those trying to protect her!
And then there was this, now deleted, 'Lol!' from India Today!
I do get a feeling that this too was supposed to go from the personal handle of some joker!
I don't know why, but the above 7-8 tweets reminded me of this short, 43 second long video!
Jumping to conclusions koi hum se seekhe!
This tweet should be seen in conjunction with Tweet Number 10 of this thread!
Truly made for each other, this couple!
God Bless them!
Oh, btw, Irony just jumped off the London Bridge and committed suicide!
This tweet I'll just leave here without adding any comment https://twitter.com/chintan20/status/1137296552253370368
Before moving on, let me just plug my NDTV thread in here! https://twitter.com/CestMoiz/status/906173482051944448
Arre yaar, koi ED waalon ko batao ki #YeBhaaratKePatrakaar are actually permitted to launder money .. it will save so much of their time!
And while you are at it, PLEASE tell SEBI also to let us play our little 'games' with our shareholders' money, no?
Crassness in reporting is our forte. Mind it!
While on the topic of crassness, I think this one takes the cake.
Make one wonder as to what kind of people do some media houses hire - right from the lowly intern who would have drafted this 'clever' ticker, to the editor who permitted it to be aired.
Yo Hindu so 'secular' that they relegate the fact that countrymade weapons with live cartridges were recovered as well, to the fourth paragraph in the report. No mention of that in the headline either because, well, beef 'sells'!
(No pun intended!)
Woh kya hota hai jee?
Pics 1 & 2: Media only doing its duty by reporting the 'truth'.
Pic 3 - I have ALWAYS believed media was atleast partially to blame in the fracas that accompanied the case.
Damn this social media and the people that keep shining mirrors right into our faces
Strange is their fascination (some ppl call it fetish) with terrorists & their 'unfortunate' circumstances!
I bet they haven't done even a fifth of such stories on martyred soldiers as for terrorists.
And then they take umbrage when called 'Presstitutes'!
Oh, and while we are on the topic of 'Presstitutes', I'll just leave this cartoon here as I close this thread for the time being!
It was published in the wake of the Presstitute wala tweet by Gen VK Singh!
1. The bird in the pic is NOT an IAF Bird.
2. The 'Airfield' in the pic is actually an Aircraft Carrier, NO Air Force planes fly from it.
3. The Aircraft Carrier in the pic is itself a CHINESE aircraft carrier - The Liaoning
4. Looks like you forgot to give credits the photo itself too. It was first used by 'Defense News' in a report they did on 23 Jan 2018. They have credited the source as 'STR/AFP via Getty Images'. Here's a link to that report! https://www.defensenews.com/naval/2018/01/23/no-slowdown-for-chinas-navy-aspirations/
I would like to hereby take credit for being the reason why the New Indian Express deleted their tweet quoted in the tweet below!
I'm sure good folks will still be able to guess as to what that tweet was about! https://twitter.com/CestMoiz/status/727788295128682496
Dear @htTweets, he was killed due to property, NOT 'coz he was Dalit.
But then, we understand why you do this.
Ah well,the young intern who wrote the report was actually pulled from her lunch break so that she could break this story instead!
Tiger dies after eating a Sambar Deer, Tamil Media reports it died after consuming ‘Sambhar Rice’ https://www.opindia.com/2019/07/tiger-dies-after-eating-a-sambar-deer-tamil-media-reports-how-it-died-after-consuming-sambhar-rice/
On Sunday evening, a tiger was found dead soon after it had eaten a sambar deer. The carcass was found in the Parsons Valley reservoir in the Nilgiris district. | OpIndia Newshttps://www.opindia.com/2019/07/tiger-dies-after-eating-a-sambar-deer-tamil-media-reports-how-it-died-after-consuming-sambhar-rice/
And then there was this from six years ago - Delhi High Court directs Aaj Tak to pay Rs.5 lakh for revealing rape victim's identity. https://barandbench.com/delhi-high-court-declares-private-news-agency-be-amenable-writ-jurisdiction-directs-aaj/
Delhi High Court declares private news agency to be amenable to writ jurisdiction Directs Aaj Tak to pay Rs5 lakh for revealing rape victims identityhttps://barandbench.com/delhi-high-court-declares-private-news-agency-be-amenable-writ-jurisdiction-directs-aaj/
Carrying on from the above, when it comes to TRPs, what is a couple of identities leaked here and there, right? https://www.business-standard.com/article/news-ani/kathua-case-delhi-hc-slaps-rs-10-lakh-fine-on-media-houses-for-revealing-victim-s-identity-118041800350_1.html
The Delhi High Court on Wednesday slapped a fine of Rs. 10 lakhs on each media house who revealed the identity of the Kathua rape-case victim.The court has decided to transfer the collected amount to...https://www.business-standard.com/article/news-ani/kathua-case-delhi-hc-slaps-rs-10-lakh-fine-on-media-houses-for-revealing-victim-s-identity-118041800350_1.html
I KNEW IT!
There was indeed a Russian hand in the recent Karnataka political crisis!
Irony read this.
Then it bought one month worth of editions of The Hindu, along with some articles it printed from BBC website.
It made a pile of all that paper & set it on fire.
Then it jumped into it
Irony is dead, folks. Do observe a minute of silence!
China is confused - Trump is selling F-16s to Taiwan, but Times of India is showing photos of Mirage 2000s!
Ye ho kya raha hai bhai?
This 'eminent' journo is in a league of her own.
How did she get there you asked?
Well, by sharing a three year old article in the context of the removal of Article 370 in 2019!
Sheer genius, I tell you.
Shame on those who call her a Category 5 Moron!
They will cry themselves hoarse, shouting INTOLERANCE.
But then, you make ONE tweet about make-up, and they block you.
Bleddy Intolerant 'Liberals', I tell you!
Magistrate saheb ka phone chori ho gaya hai.
Hum Magistrate Saheb ko lagataar sms aur phone kar rahe hain aur jaankaari haasil karne ke liye. Pata nahi kyon woh koi jawab nahi de rahe ..
Omar, Mufti and Amit Shah - in their latest camouflage!
So excellent is the camouflage that they look like Sourav Ganguly, Niranjan Shah and Rajeev Shukla!
Dear News18, if an employee uses your handle in his bio, does that mean that with the disclaimer 'tweets are personal', he can post any shit without you being concerned that he will be a neutral person when donning his professional hat?
This one is a gem!
Just came across it in my archives!
She is my friend.
I swear she was 'harassed' so badly in Kerala.
Actual location of 'harassment' = Bengaluru.
Inka geography thoda kamzor nikla!
Btw, she travelled all the way to a movie, but couldn't stand for 52seconds!
And then, she got up and went home!
Folks, welcome to The Assam Tribune, where soldiers guarding the Nation are 'Killed' while those throwing stones and damaging public property are 'Martyrs'.
From four years ago!
It's ok that they mistook Republic for Independence Day.
Ho jata hai kabhi kabhi.
But what alarms me is that they couldn't even spell 'Independence' right!
Jet Airways is perhaps the latest 'down to earth' airline in India.
Wonder how long before the good folks at Firstpost ban this 'gentleman' from flying with Kingfisher as well!
Mirror Mirror On The Wall
Who's the Fairest of them ... Oh Never Mind ..
'Fastest Finger First' is our mantra, Fact checking be damned!
Even if it is with respect to news that might result in communal riots, esp in the currently supercharged environment.
Ack Thoo on these people.
Atleast they got the 'Abhijit' part right.
Too bad the Abhijit that their millennial intern googled was a singer and not an economist!
Agenda Ooncha Rahe Hamara .. until the Finance Minister herself calls out our false and malicious reporting, that is.
If that happens, we will apologize, check our 'facts' again from our WhatsApp groups and carry on!
Kahin ki Headline
Kahin ki Kahani!
Print ke deshbhakton ki zabaani!
Q:How do you know that All England Open Badminton Championship, Arjuna Award, Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, Padma Shri, Dronacharya Award & Padma Bhushan winner Pullela Gopichand is a 'little-known' person?
A:An idiot intern at India Today has never heard of him!
Pic 1: Ghar se Nikalte Hee
Pic 2: Kuchh Duur Chalte Hee
So this one seems a bit upset.
Why, you asked?
Well because India no longer seeks aid from the world, but SENDS them aid instead!!
We learnt in primary school that April has 30 days.. well, atleast 99.9999% of us did.
As for the balance 0.0001%, well some of them became 'star' journalists who rely upon 'inkie pinkie ponkie' to make 'educated' guesses about which month has how many days!
Now that's a V.E.R.Y unfortunate typo, I'd say!
Quite the Oracle, I must say.
This one saw the fire happen even before it happened!
Good Friday पर खुशियाँ मनाते हैं.
इतनी खुशियाँ, कि Easter के अंडों की भी दो दिन पहले ही भुर्जी बना कर खा लेते हैं!
Saala, ye Ramayan ke zamane ke Asur bhi humko chhed kar chale jate hain!
Keeping it classy.
We will NOT shy away from wishing ill of our democratically elected Prime Minister and his Home Minister.
But when called out for the bigots that we are, we WILL deactivate our twitter accounts (even if temporarily) and run away!
We will NEVER let you down, esp when it comes to wishing death to democratically elected leaders, just 'coz we don't subscribe to their ideologies.
Oh, and we wont even give a damn about maintaining even a pretense of political neutrality while we are at it!
When we can wish deaths to political leaders, you should hardly be surprised when we kill off these 'chhota-mota' RWA Presidents, that too without seeking their permission to do so!
I don't even know what to say about this 'EXCLUSIVE' analysis of the Prime Minister's address to the Nation!!
We too have our set of principles.
In case you don't agree with our set of principles, we have other sets of principles as well!
Samay Samay ki baat hai .. Kabhi Kabhi Electrical grid khatre mein aa jati hai, or kabhi kabhi nahi aati!
All it takes is a simple google search to realize that INS Angre is not a ship, but a shore based installation instead!
Lekin Aaj Tak walon ne toh usko samundar mein dubaane ki pratigya le rakhi hai jaise!
First thing that I do once I come across such a tweet is to check the bio of the person tweeting it.
You'll be surprised at how often I find the word 'journalist' there!
Even a basic google search would have told u why u shouldn't make a fool of yourself!
This 'Inkie Pinkie Ponkie' journo (refer 14 tweets above for context. Pl do. I INSIST!), irony is that despite being a VERY SENIOR journo, she doesn't know the basics of demand & supply, something taught in amongst the first economics lessons in high school!
Oh, btw, some of us are feminists too!
Just be advised that our feminism itself is a bit .. err .. selective!
One thing that is absolutely consistent in us is our inconsistency!
But then, spitting and licking it back is no big deal, right?
(Yup, I know most of you read the first sentence twice!)
Kaun terrorist hai aur kaun activist, iska certificate bhi dete hain hum log!
Aur haan, humse bada 'secular' bhi koi nahi hota iss duniya mein. Yaad rahe hamesha!
Oh, and we give private lessons in tolerance as well!
Naah, Just Kidding!
Btw, in our quest for pushing our agendas, we won't even hesitate in retweeting crap from PARODY accounts!
Sanctimonious lectures come naturally to us, especially when it is about rival media houses!
But .. we don't really like it when good folks shine a mirror in our faces by quoting tweets from this very thread! https://twitter.com/SanjayShedge2/status/1252606791650770947
It is only natural that there are times when our 'reading habits' end up colouring our professional work as well, because .. err .. we read a lot!! https://twitter.com/Mohansinha/status/1252490736466944000
Someone: There once was an idiot who tweeted something idiotic.
Reporter Madam: MEEE .. IT WAS ME!
We also become GandhiJi ka Bandar (the one with his eyes covered) when an official POLICE handle calls us out for our fakery.
So much so, that we STILL won't delete the FAKE REPORT / TWEET!
Freedom of Speech, you see!
All it took was a mere 15 minutes!
Of course, alibis are always at hand.
Data was erroneous, no doubt, but apparently the graphic too needed some 'editing'!
Then there are times when we shoot from our hips, though a tad bit prematurely!
Pic 1 - HOW DARE THEY LODGE AN FIR AGAINST OUR HONEST REPORTING?
Pic 2 - err .. let us add a 'note' saying that we lied in our original report!
Very clever, I'd say!
Ho jati hai fake news hum se tweet kabhi kabhi.
Kuchh nahi hota, baad mein phir hum delete bhi toh kar dete hain aise tweets ko!
Allegation: Tirumala Tirupati temple closed AFTER Tablighi congregation caught.
Fact: Temple had closed on 19 March itself!
Btw, for those interested, here is the link to the now deleted tweet : https://twitter.com/sakshijoshii/status/1245209839212486658
Supreme Court: Migration of lakhs of labourers was driven by fake news that lockdown would extend for 3 months.
Star Journalist: Chalo, kaam ho gaya. Ab tweet deleted kar dete hain!
Am I the only one who sees a pattern here?
This one as well.
Same template - tweet fake news. Then delete.
What are the odds that screenshots of such tweets would have been shared on WA by ppl NOT knowing these have now been deleted?
In our quest for 'fastest finger first', facts don't matter one bit, especially when we can ALWAYS issue a 'clarification' later on.
So what if it adds to the confusion / panic in the middle of a pandemic, hainji?
About two years ago I made a pledge to myself that I will NOT use cuss words any more. I have more or less been successful in keeping my language clean. But jokers like these ones do test my resolve. A LOT!
Late night .. chhote chhote lagane ke baad .. asli 'heroes' saamne aa hi jate hain.
Btw, this tweet didn't last long on this 'eminent' journo's timeline .. guess he too knew his hero worship is best kept private!
Do google about folks he is so pained for!
(Refer two tweets above)
So committed we are to the truth, that we will call out ALL fake news peddlers, with aplomb .. even if it includes ourselves as well!
Refer 9 tweets above.
I'll just leave this tweet here!
Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde stories in real life!
Step 1: Showcase your bigotry
Step 2: Send smilies & profess your (fake) love for the other in DM, when called out for being a bigot
Step 3: Go crying to the police for being called out
Hypocrisy runs in our veins!
Oh, and did she tell you that she suffers from homophobia as well?
लेकिन ज्ञान बाँटने में सबसे आगे.
Wishing death to others just because we don't agree with their political orientation comes soooooo naturally to some of us!
(Link to FB Post, now deleted: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10222976603468041&id=1367644348)
Here is another one, wishing death to the democratically elected Home Minister of the Union of India.
Of course, they would STILL claim neutral and 'unbiased' reporting!
Much of Indian Media sure seems to be a cesspool filled with such vermin.
Har koi humo chhittar maar ke chala jata hai .. pata nahi kyon .. thoda sa jhooth bhi nahi likh sakte ab kya hum?
Ye wala bhi shayad 'ati sattvik' roop se beizzati kar gaya jaisa lagta hai!
Folks, we should be eternally grateful to The Wire for not calling them 'Freedom Fighters' .. Yet.
Btw, I wonder why they deleted this tweet
The 'inkie pinkie ponkie' journalist strikes again!
This time she mercilessly turns basic economics logic on its head and then goes on to 'kill it till it dies'!
So what if we cannot find a 'scoop', hainji?
We can always create one!!
Who needs to do real 'journalism'!!
Kaun HAIN ye log?
Kahan se aate hain ye?
Kyon apne gyan ki 'gehrai' sabke saamne dikhaate hain ye?
REVENUE and PROFIT are two different things, dolts!
We are VERY firm in our 'beliefs'.
SOOOOOO firm, that it takes is SEVEN full days to change them!
Btw, this tweet is NOT sexist at all.
When they are boys, the MUST be prosecuted, regardless of age.
But when it is a girl, she is just a CHILD!
Oh, btw, this happened some time ago.
Or maybe a looooong time ago.
There are migrants who are walking hundreds of kilometres in the unforgiving Indian summer.
Then there are 'migrants' who are comfortably tweeting from their air-conditioned apartments using their iphones.
Bloody vultures, I'd say.
Our rights are UNASSAILABLE.
As for others' rights .. well .. WE will decide whether they deserve those or not!
Heads I win
Tails you lose!
And then they take offense when General VK Singh calls them Presstitutes!
We KNOW the bitter truth.
Heck, sometimes we even tweet about it.
But then, realization strikes soon enough - the bitter truth does NOT conform to our agendas.
So we delete the 'offending' tweet!
Aur yeh hain hamare desh ke 'Bahut Krantikaari' journalist sahab.
Fact checking kya hoti hai, yeh inko inki 'Krantikaari' coaching class wale sikhana bhool gaye lagta hai!
इसको कहते हैं चप्पल गीली करके मारना!
But I doubt the 'worthies' of The Wire will change their brand of journalism, ever!
Happily Stealing Content, without even caring to acknowledge it was created by someone else!
And then they take umbrage when called #Presstitutes! https://twitter.com/KesariDhwaj/status/1270247069861597185
Keeping it classy. ALWAYS.
Fake outrage results in only one outcome - getting 'gently' coached by the good folks!
In any case, 'motivated' journalism hardly bothers about research / authenticity!
Yet another #ChinaGetOut shouting fest.
But this one is a once in a lifetime affair because, well, it is sponsored by Vivo - a Chinese company!
Fastest Finger First, even if it means mindlessly stealing someone's personal photographs from their social media accounts & sticking it on a murder report, even if they are NOT related to the incident!
Then they take umbrage upon being called #Presstitutes!
Of course, when caught with their pants down, blame it on 'inadvertent' errors!
Of course, this 'inadvertent' error meant spending atleast a few minutes on Facebook, searching for ANYONE by that name!
A bunch of bloody idiots running a NATIONAL newspaper!
'Azad Kashmir' is what Pakis call the parts of the erstwhile Princely state of Jammu and Kashmir under their illegal subjugation.
And Yup, these 'Indian' Presstitutes as well.
The Hindu - STOP FELLING TREES FOR HINDU RITUALS
Also The Hindu - Hey, look at the beautiful wooden partitions in our office!
I sometimes wonder as to what a bit IDIOT must one be to even think such an obviously 'cheeky' tweet worthy of a 'Fact Check'!
And then how dense a supervisor would have to be to actually let it be published in a NATIONAL news portal!
A bit too many details, no?
Thank God they didn't flash photos of the act!
1 of 2:
Cheekiness runs in our blood.
So what if it is a Firangi disparaging our own country, hainji?
Presstitutes' agenda reigns supreme!
2 of 2:
Of course, going by her logic, even these Indian Army soldiers and ITBP troopers are .. well .. guilty of being Nazis?
Dear TOI, none of these aircraft look like the Poseidon, no?
Or is it the crow in the picture that you are hinting at?
Hmm .. I wonder why they chose NOT to write the word 'Nadi' after 'Ghagara'!
Or knowing them, perhaps it is something else that they are insinuating?
Ye wala toh chappal geeli karke maar gaya re!
Yes, we will wish death and destruction to the Motherland, just because we don't endorse a DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED government that is brought into power by fellow citizens after due electoral process.
Lo ji, we have a new minister in the Union Cabinet!
India launches Bollywood satellite!
Ye kya positive karwa diya inhone!
Aur ye kaun si nahi ministry khol di Bhaarat Sarkaarne - HealthY Ministry!
BREAKING NEWS - Celebrities also fart during pregnancy, just like human beings!
Bechare Cheeni bhi soch rahe honge ki ye wala jahaj unhone kab khareeda!
Postman ko bhi nahi chhodenge .. uska bhi statement lenge!
Jawab lekin yahi milega - 'Arre Main Postman Hoon'!
I wonder what else was this Postman Saab muttering under his breath!
Freedom of Speech sirf hum logon ke liye hai.
Fastest Finger First!
Here's yet another sample.
What galls is not their bigotry, but instead their utter ignorance of how social media works!
Truly said - Pay peanuts, and you'll only get monkeys!
Here's the archival link of the now deleted tweet, btw - https://archive.is/FNOrm
We will NOT stop trying to act smart.
But sadly, our IQ doesn't permit us the 'smartness' needed to act smart!
Devendra Fadnavis had alleged that his interview was cut short midway while he was explaining centre's help to Maharashtra on GST credithttps://www.opindia.com/2020/09/devendra-fadnavis-expose-abp-majha-abruptly-ended-interview-parallel-recording/amp/
Negative news about the Nation deserve absolutely NO fact-checking!
So what if we end up eating crow, hainji?
Aren't we already used to that?
Some WhatsApp chats should be leaked and stories done on them, while some WhatsApp chats are strictly private!
From Madison Square in the USA to Mumbai, the entire world is our boxing ring .. WE . SHALL . KEEP . FIGHTING!
For those not aware of the Madison analogy, here is the 'Boxer Bhai' at his best in the USA. Freedom of speech, especially for others, can always be countered by physical violence, mind you!
Air Force Ki Hai.
Get me a photo.
Intern: Gets a photo of a woman aviator of the Navy in front of a Dornier which says 'NAUSENA' in boldest of letters!
Lekin confidence poora hai!
We are the Judge, Jury and Executioner, all rolled into one!
Oh, just in case someone calls us out for the hypocrites that we are, we can always reply with 'Ok, will see the video'!
Yup, we will spew nonsense without even bothering with facts!
This one reminded me of the song, 'Ek Chatur Naar'!
Indeed a clever one. Fooled MANY to believe it was the International Court of Justice that had an issue!
Btw, I am also thinking of moving a motion in my RWA to declare her an idiot. Let's see how it goes!
Abhi aur bhi zaleel hona hai hamein!
ये कहाँ से लॉन्च कर दिया ब्रह्मोस मिसाइल को
Geography Ki ..
We WILL leak private conversations / chats of all and sundry with no regard to their right to privacy. But don't you DARE leak our conversations, we are warning you!
Btw, NO #Presstitute talking about the content wherein a colleague is actually instigating!
BTW .. https://twitter.com/CestMoiz/status/1312279251396096003
Only WE reserve the right to use foul language. And we will NOT fail to call you out if you dare usurp this exclusive 'privilege'.
Oh, and btw, you don't deserve the right to reply to our tweets either. FOE sirf hamare liye hai!
Got that, you IDIOTS?
Ah, well .. Freedom of Speech et al .. https://twitter.com/alok_bhatt/status/1312323020636057600
We WILL let out serious sounding statements at our perceived loss of privacy .. BUT .. we will maintain a studied silence at the fact that that it might be a recorded conversation at either end that might have gotten leaked!
Also .. we will NEVER EVER acknowledge that our employees are looking to instigate victims to make statements of OUR choice and 'all that jazz'! https://www.opindia.com/2020/10/hathras-case-leaked-audio-tanushree-pandey-india-today-brother/
We will keep on doing 'stings' and also reporting on 'exclusively accessed' private chats / conversations. There are absolutely no moral dilemmas in such a case .. but if someone does that to us, we will cry you a river!
Oh, btw, our editorial standards too are not very good either!
What to do .. getting good quality people who can do a basic fact check is so difficult these days, you see!
We will unfailingly report whatever you have to say.
And so committed are we to our job of 'objective' reporting that we will also TELL you what to say, before the cameras start rolling!