Read on Twitter
- I might be 8 years late, but I eventually got around to seeing S01E01 of GoT, okay.
- S01E03. early days yet but Iâm wondering why anyone would, of their own volition, stan Sansa Stark. eek.
- again, I ask, who exactly is this Sansa fellow?
- I must say I was particularly impressed when Daenerys decided to take the reins and mount the phallus of my brother in Christ, Khal Drogo, and ride him into oblivion. odikwa very dexterous.
- why, on Godâs green earth, is every man and his chihuahua a knight in Westeros?
âI am a Khaleesi of the Dothraki. I am the wife of the great Khal and I carry his son inside me. the next time you raise a hand to me will be the last time you have hands.â
she just threatened Viserys with sickle, my God.
she just threatened Viserys with sickle, my God.
- oprah_winfrey_shebi_you_see.gif. look at this Sansa woman just obunating in the presence of God and the congregation. https://twitter.com/ny_wiseass/status/1136760487528546305?s=21
- I seriously envy this Lord of the Vale fellow.
- Samwell Tarly, a bloody incel.
- the death of the individual called Viserys pleased me greatly. his face annoyed my dog more than once.
- random: how all these ravens take sabi road?
- omo, this Tywin Lannister of a man has mastered the art of skinning game.
- look, children, shave your pubes. for no one knows the time or place theyâre going to be stripped naked. let the experience of the wine merchant who tried to poison Daenerys be a lesson for all of us.
- Petyr Baelish, you backstabbing son of a [I am Groot.] kĂ lo Ć shelĂš gangan?
- âmoon of my life.â
âmy sun and stars.â
somebody should help me bring my belt from the room. I want to flog this headass couple.
âmy sun and stars.â
somebody should help me bring my belt from the room. I want to flog this headass couple.
- ah, so this is the tetanus.
- wait, Joffery just ordered that Eddard Stark be relieved of his head. somebody, hold me. Iâm on my way to Kingâs Landing to throw hands.
- I SAID SOMEBODY SHOULD FETCH MY BIG SPANNER, AH.
- ALAYE, THE DRAGONS HAVE LANDED. I REPEAT, THE DRAGONS HAVE LANDED.
- omo, the mother of dragons is seriously suffrin.
- aww. poor Sansa Stark. her eyes have undergone this thing called clearing.
- what is it about the penises of family members that interests Cersei so?
- we... wetin be dis, oh God?
- I SAID WE WRESTLE NOT AGAINST FLESH AND BLOOD OH, BUT AGAINST PRINCIPALITIES, AGAINST POWERS, AGAINST THE RULERS OF DARKNESS OF THIS WORLD WEY WE DEY, AGAINST SPIRITUAL WICKEDNESS IN HIGH PLACES, AH.
Renly shouldâve known that but e no dey read bible. now, look.
Renly shouldâve known that but e no dey read bible. now, look.
- smh. Theon just murdered Ser Rodrik for a drop of clout. itâs not just on Twitter, you guys.
- [sigh.] why does Theon let his penis do his thinking for him, even in instances where that course of action does not scale? tsk, tsk.
- omo, this womanâs dragons have been discreetly moved.
- aww. Hodor? mweh, mweh.
- Lmao. Jonâs erection mustâve been quite the thing, as it had absolutely no respect for all the layers of clothing separating him from Ygritte.
not firewood but body, alayĂ©. your vows, solemn as they may be, cannot work around manâs need to blaze some toto foken.
not firewood but body, alayĂ©. your vows, solemn as they may be, cannot work around manâs need to blaze some toto foken.
- Jon [to his morning wood]: not here, you fool. have you no sense of timing?
- Tywin neglected Aegon Targaryenâs sistersâ â Rhaenysâ and Visenyaâs â roles in the story of how the Harrenhal fortress was reduced to ruin, but Arya decided she was having none of that erasure. a woman who sabis.
- Jaime [to Brienne]: youâre much uglier in daylight.
look, while I understand where youâre coming from, Iâm an advocate for having filters, man. are you mad?
look, while I understand where youâre coming from, Iâm an advocate for having filters, man. are you mad?
- okay, wait. who is this Jaqen Hâghar fellow and why is he so skilled in the art of sending people to glory?
- The Battle of Blackwater. an overflowing barrel of puke from people of different tribes wasnât the kind of content I wanted to see while I was eating, but this is life and we donât always get what we want.
- and so it was that Stannis Baratheon was chased out of Kingâs Landing with koboko.
Ros: most men like what they see.
Varys: Iâm not like most men.
Ros: thatâs what most men say.
[proceeds to delicately move her hands toward the supposed location of Varysâ nether regions.]
Varys: albus_dumbledore_shebi_you_see.gif.
Varys: Iâm not like most men.
Ros: thatâs what most men say.
[proceeds to delicately move her hands toward the supposed location of Varysâ nether regions.]
Varys: albus_dumbledore_shebi_you_see.gif.
- okay, so you see, the white walkers landed and this Samwell Tarly individual thought weeping and gnashing of teeth was the best course of action instead of running?
- did this Master Kraznys guy just cut off this unsulliedâs nipple? thatâs one less pleasure point for the poor man. verily, men are menâs worst enemies.
- these dragons can be regarded as yoots now, as children of nowadays.
- ah, Lady Olenna sef dey chow wĂ rĂ .
- huhu. Jaime Lannister just got bodied by Brienne. titles really mean nothing on these streets, cuz.
- look at the important people of Kingâs Landing displaying passive aggression because of sitting space.
- the thing Tyrion and Bronn fail to understand about Podrick and other millennials is that we have stamina, you see.
- eh, God. Jaimeâs right hand has just been deemed an unnecessary body part going forward by the powers that be.
- ah, it seems asides stamina, Podrick was wielding the inches too.
- oh God, I still donât understand peopleâs love for food. but it could lead men of the nightâs watch to mutiny, so itâs pretty important, I guess.
- oh boy iyehhh, the captives of the mighty have been delivered, and na Daenerys Stormborn do di work.
- Jesus Christ of Nazareth at first, but eventually of the whole wide world. Jon Snow just got to know this woman in the same manner that Adam knew Eve without having showered for days? why, forgossake?
- Petyr Baelish [whenever Sansa calls him âLord Baelishâ]: pĂš mĂ lâĂłrĂșko, ko fĂ mĂ nĂrugbĂČn.
- LMAO. Joffrey, in his quest to further bring shame to his uncle, carried away the stool Tyrion needed to climb to cloak Sansa. the seven kingdoms have never witnessed this kind of assholery.
- foreplay seems to be an alien concept to the people of Westeros because the manner in which penises are just shoved into vaginas after one forehead kiss leaves a lot to be desired.
- Samwell Tarly held a weapon to this white walker who had his KPIs to fulfill, and was quickly pushed out of the way by said walker because he wasnât considered a threat.
not rated by the living, not rated by the dead either.
not rated by the living, not rated by the dead either.
- âshey you can see now that weâre not all ugly in our house?â â Walder Frey.
- what the hell did I just watch? [redacted] Walder Frey [and Roose Bolton]. on God, I will find you and all you hold dear, and sacrifice you to ShĂČpĂČnĂĄ.
- this particular frame is distressing. the subterfuge wouldâve been appreciated a lot more if it werenât our collective faves being sent to glory.
adieu, Mama Stark, née Tully.
adieu, Mama Stark, née Tully.
- oh God, they really relieved Theon of his manhood as it was deemed surplus to requirements.
not to be dramatic or anything, but Iâd rather die.
not to be dramatic or anything, but Iâd rather die.
- indeed, this clout of a thing na follow come.
- okay, humor me this. Daenerys leaves Yunkai as she did Astapor â banishes slavery but fails to establish structures to replace the existing system. what does she think is going to happen?
to whom does this queen belong?
to whom does this queen belong?
- âsomeday, if youâre lucky, you will wake up and realize youâre old. [...] your back will ache in the night and gray hairs will sprout from your ears. no one will want you anymore. make sure you fucked your fill before that day.â
look, Oberyn, Iâm trying my best here, okay.
look, Oberyn, Iâm trying my best here, okay.
- ah, I wonder the number of inches Petyr Baelish is packing because these moans coming out of Lysaâs mouth, eh.
- a scene with twelve and a half protagonists, but the half protagonist did all of the acting.
- âI will not give my life for Joffreyâs murder. and I know Iâll get no justice here. so I will let the gods decide my fate. I demand a trial by combat.â
intensity intensifies as Tyrion tyrionifies.
intensity intensifies as Tyrion tyrionifies.
- oh God, this Mountain individual just squeezed Oberyn's head the same way I intend to squeeze this woman's bosom.
- again, Oberyn, donât gloat. this is what happens when millennials donât read their bibles, eh.
- [sniffs.] oh, poor Jorah. a woman whose nakedness youâve been dying to see for years. believe me, I know the feels.
- man. Grenn and Pyp have been called to glory. indeed, these yoots are the watchers on the wall.
