ive spent four days not sleeping, drinking monsters, tequila, rum, beer, and occasionally an adderral trying to solve a problem that i have no fucking clue about but i keep trying and believe 100% i can solve it so yeah i know what its like to be in q anon

this might as well be my new drunk tweets thread

sometimes i feel like im just stumbling around with no purpose and then i have thoughts like if ur gonna eat her ass in the morning do it before u brush ur teeth cause environment af and i think maybe i should be a lifestyle blogger

mimosas but instead of champagne tequila and instead o oranfe juice tequila

lol i remember that time i tweeted that picture

leave me out of ur insanity please and thank u i have enough of my own

eeeeeeeelevenpoint7five

look i fucking get it. warren has great policy stuff going on and if i was voting on JUST policy shed have my vote right now. and that's cool and all but booooooooring af so im voting for the person I find the most likeable which right now would have to be warren

man...my last drunk tweets thread was out of control apparently

how does one go about signing up to be one of the hot local singles in ur area that want to fuck?

-asking for a friend

2016 skills:
-good looking
-11.75
-self taught guitar?

2019 skills:
-good looking
-11.75
-self taught guitar?
-self taught Photoshop?
-self taught video editing?
-self taught interneting?
-google

who knew having the shittiest president ever would be so good for personal growth?

im not willing to accept that its 2019 and everyone thinks that a white man has a better chance of winning and no chance of being impeached. im never gonna accept it.

id argue that theres nothin better than sharing a blunt on someones balcony completely naked and yall dont even know each others names. i mean i dont think she told me her name. maybe she did? becky? i feel like she said becky..... i dunno.....she had good weed tho

*hits blunt* the person at the top of any big organization never has a plan, they just say what they wanna do and then the people that agree move up in rank, and the people that dont cause they have a better plan get told to shut up which is why im a craigslist stripper *exhales*

me, everywhere i go when im wearing a brand brand brand new pair of gray sweats

so i just spent half the day smoking weed and watching youtube videos to help me try and organize every inch of my life

seems to me that people should vote for who they think best represents them instead of trying to figure out who they think would best represent the other side. i dont really know how politics works tho

chess is weird game cause even if u have no clue what ur doing u could just stare at the board for a really long time and not make any moves and ull have a lot of people convinced ur really good at chess

i feel like we should just go ahead and impeach pence. i feel like thatd be fine with everyone

i made like $800 this weekend which means im basically a millionaire. how much is a yacht?

horseshoe theory is when i use a horseshoe as a cock ring, right?

some underwear is just too small

yall think theyll actually vote to impeach barr next week or is he just gonna send them a dm asking not to get impeached yet and so they'll reschedule?

how many times do u have to prematurely ejaculate before u start yelling at women for showing their shoulders?

officially a drunk tweets revival now https://twitter.com/ManlnTheHoody/status/1135686517299351552

aaaahhhh super stressed about what to wear to the straight pride parade

now would be the perfect time for bette midler to tweet out a link to the mueller report.

BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY BETTE MIDLER TWEETING IT OUT IS WHAT WOULD FINALLY GET CONGRESS TO READ THE MUELLER REPORT

"live with an update from the straight pride parade. it appears two women were walking near the parade and sharing opinions with each other and now the entire parade has gone off the planned route to follow the women to explain why theyre wrong, back to u in the studio, chuck"

trying to watch the #warrentownhall but my god damn legs keep cramping ....i....ummmm
..shoulda skipped leg day

warren wouldnt just be a good president, shed be a good leader of the entire god damn free world. #warrentownhall

i did like 7 software updates on my phone in a row and now somehow theres videos on here that i thought i deleted yeaaaars ago and its kinda fun to watch them but then a little scary knowing how permanent they are and also im pretty sure i can never run for political office

u ever get so tired but also cant sleep so u start masturbating so u can fall sleep but then just wind up resting ur head on ur dick for a little bit cause exhausted af?

sometimes when i see someone liking all the tweets in this thread i like to watch and see which tweet it was that i lost them on. its even funnier when they skip liking just one tweet and then start liking again. I KNOW U SAW THE TWEET

was gonna do a parade for me and my peoples but got worried that it might just think its a three legged race and were prolly gonna need different permits

*the year 2030*

dude: ill take the ar-15
gun dealer: excellent choice. come back in 3 days to pick it up
dude: ugh, i hate that women control gov now.
gd: iremember when we ran everything??
dude: sigh
gd: anyways, come over here i have to put 11 inches of the barrel in ur ass

how does astrologists know this sht?

do yall cover the little webcam thing on ur computer when u masturbate or do u just let the government watch? i just let them watch cause i think the idea of there just beign gigabytes of metadata about me going at it with both hands on a gov server somewhere is hilarious

a homeless person will ask for $5 to be able to buy some food and a political strategist will tell them theyd rather see them get $100 and then walk away without giving them anything

ive been havin dreams
jumpin on a trampoline

imagine if u thought the president should go to prison and u had the power to bring a law allowing a sitting president to be indicted to the floor of congress. that would really be something

i set up a romantic proposal right by a cherry tree but she said i wasnt one the one for her

gomnaaa go maaake money

i went to bed oily and glittery and havent taken a shower yet and now i gotta figure out how to get oily and glittery off everything

i need someone to explain the big words in this please https://ihlayanews.com/study-concludes-bigger-than-average-penis-is-a-disability-and-its-associated-with-low-mental-capacity/

always a bachelerette party stripper never a bachelorette

everyone on twitter: share the 4th picture on ur camera roll. no cheating!

me:

me showing up to the straight pride parade

my dick wants sex all the time. and tbh sometimes im not in the mood so i just give it a hug and go to sleep and it understands

its getting too hot for gray sweats

the helicopter was part of nancys plan yall, relax.

my psych said i need to focus on healthy interactions in group settings so....ummmm.....whos down for an orgy?

i dunno about u guys but after todays hearings im super confident that everyone learned how impeachment works

if nothing else at least im humble

i think if the media was able to find out and report that jared and ivanka made more money than donald it would bring this whole thing down

def drunk tweets thread https://twitter.com/ManlnTheHoody/status/1138159706927763458

the only people impeachment divides is us and the nazis and tbh im ok with that

YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?

welp i guess ill have to promote the summer penis myself

dems: THE FACTS MUST BE BROUGHT TO THE PUBLIC

also dems: we are having private hearings with don jr and hope hicks

so if uve been sayign that nancy has a plan and that theyre doing hearings so that the public perception changes and then eventually they will be able to do impeachment. fine. cool. i assume ur upset that don jr. and hope hicks are testifying behind closed doors then?????

DO MOTHER FUCKING IMPEACHMENT ALREADY U COWARDS

its all a fucking lie. there is no plan. its all just being covered up. were allowing them to do all their testifying behind closed doors. and then saying welp looks like we dont have public support for impeachment. its worthless fucking politicking and its disgusting af.

if a guy keeps lighting the rule book on fire and u keep trying to read from it instead of knocking the mother fucker out that doesnt make u politically savy, it makes u an idiot with burned hands thats gonna die from smoke inhalation

its gonna be 2028 and im still gonna be yelling we need to impeach him while im selling sex for extra bowls of soup at the liberal prison camps idgaf

hey u can stop telling me things like "u know if the house impeaches it goes to the senate and mitch mcconnel will block it"...yes i know. just because i have a big dick doesnt make me a fuckign idiot

super weird that george conway has never tweeted about the hatch act which his wife kellyanne violates on a regular basis. oh well....he tweeted some mean things about trump so obviously he is a hero and not just garbage thats making money from this administration #resist

i may not enjoy long romantics walks on the beach or wiriting love letters but i fuck like someone whos never watched a nicholas sparks movie so at least i have that going for me

i have a ton of jokes about sarah sanders leaving the white house but ive heard this rumor 100s of times so im gonna save my jokes until the I's are crossed and the T's are dotted

i dont know about u but to me its obvious to me that democrats have total control of the volatile national security situation with the white house because they took away jared kushner's security clearance

so it turns out that the special counsel appointment was just a way to do the whole ass investigation and witness testimony out of public sight. the smartest thing trump has done as president is not fire mueller.

lmaoooo so i finally got around to trying these on and i shoulda guessed from the packaging but they defiintely aint designed for me. in the traaaaash they go. https://twitter.com/ManlnTheHoody/status/1135686517299351552

actually ill just throw away the pair i tried on and donate the other ones to good will i think

gonna keep this here in case i get enough tequila in me to where im thinking bout crashing the straight pride parade https://twitter.com/thistallawkgirl/status/1139425375140794368

u ever just sit and think about everyone uve ever had sex with and wonder if they washed their legs or not?

im at like prolly 80% didnt and now im thinking bout everywhere i put my mouth and im disgusted but would also prolly do it again anyways

i drink enough that this thread gonna be longer and better than any seth abrhamsson threrad in like 3 weeks

do yall think trump knows that basically everything in the united states military is named after someone or something who would hate him?

its 250 in the mornign on friday and im sitting on my couch with my leg all lubed up and i think im just gonna stay this way until tonight

donald trump is john mccains daughter #JohnMcCainDay

if u havent gone to sleep yet and its not morning yet and ur dick is hard at what time does it become morning wood?

ASKING FOR A FRIEND

i bet kushner lubes up his legs before sex

its trumps birthday AND #JohnMcCainDay is trending and someone needs to throw a tarp over twitter for real

i will not allow the badness of trump make me defend other garbage people
i will not allow the badness of trump make me defend other garbage people
i will not allow the badness of trump make me defend other garbage people
i will not allow the badness of trump make me defend other

the only thing i want is for u to constantly question why the fuck ur following me