THREAD: Fun facts about what it's like when you hate tomatoes.

The first time you disclose to an acquaintance that you hate tomatoes, there is a 70% chance that you will hear an anecdote that includes the phrase, "like an apple!"

If the person you tell is a tomato-lover, there is an 80% chance they will suggest your aversion is only because "you haven't had GOOD tomatoes!" --as if all it really takes to get over your hatred of tomatoes is raw, unadulterated tomato flavor.

When a server or cashier makes a comment or joke about the way you order your food with no tomatoes, this will have no measurable impact on the likelihood of your order coming with tomatoes anyway, the odds of which are a universal constant: 50%.

If you eat out a lot, servers, cashiers, and drive-thru workers will repeat your order and then add the phrase "with extra tomatoes!" at least once a week for the rest of your life.

...this will lead to a lot of awkward apologies, because these servers/cashiers/drive-thru workers do not understand it is a universal constant that your order will come with tomatoes 50% of the time, and they will try to explain they were kidding and the kitchen made a mistake.

Any time your order at a restaurant has a minor error that you don't really care about--say, you were served mashed potatoes instead of au gratin potatoes--your server will whisk away the whole plate so that it can be remade, and bring it back covered in tomatoes.

If you're at a restaurant that puts raw tomatoes in unexpected places--say, inside their margaritas or on top of pumpkin pie--your server will NEVER volunteer this information when you order, even after hearing you say "with no tomatoes" after every other item that you ordered.

That said, if you add the phrase "with no tomatoes" out of an abundance of caution, your server or cashier will look at you like you're an idiot and exclaim, "But--but that doesn't COME WITH tomatoes!"

Even so, a menu item that "doesn't come with tomatoes" will be served with tomatoes 50% of the time, because the laws of logic, physics, and language have no impact on the universal constant.

No matter how discreetly you take the tomatoes off of your meal and wipe away the tomato juice, the people around you will look at you like you're a moron who doesn't know how to order off of a menu.

If a menu description includes a lengthy list of ingredients that doesn't include tomatoes, this will have absolutely no bearing on whether the dish actually comes with tomatoes in it.

“I’d like the avocado toast with no tomatoes, please...”

I try not to never make a big deal out of it, but I think my boyfriend felt guilty seeing me pick tomatoes out of a wrap that he ordered for me on Postmates. He said, "But--it didn't say it had tomatoes in it!" and I'm like, "I know, babe, it's just a law of the universe."

Trying to figure out what I did to upset the person who made my small side salad with no tomatoes...