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Story Time: The First & Last Time I Had Female Roommates
1. This story very VERY recent and I honestly shouldnât be telling it but itâs funny as hell so ima tell it anyway
2. ima give these people fake names because thereâs a lot of people involved in this HOE FIASCO and ion want yâall to get confused.. plus Iâm pretty sure they bfs still follow me so
3. First off I ainât even wanna room with these bitches because they went to cookman and yâall know my history with cookman girls... Krystal.. Tez Ex... Iâm pretty sure heaven went there for a semester as well
4. But they put up an ad looking for a roomie and rent was cheap so I capitalized on the opportunity
5. We didnât talk much, more so hi & bye, but they cleaned up after themselves and they rent was always on time. You RARELY get that with roommates so thatâs all that mattered to me
6. Now I KNEW these girls had bfs because I hoop with these niggas and they did not like me because I stayed with they girls but once they found out I was dating my gf Kim they was cool
7. So itâs the weekend, Iâm in the living room playing my game enjoying my day off when Tyra (Roomie #1) comes home with a nigga that ainât her bf
8. I continued to mind my business..
9. she start cooking for this nigga and now Iâm sick because cheating is one thing but once you start COOKING for ANOTHER nigga you have crossed to the dark side and can never come back
10. So homeboy comes and sits next to me, we chat it up.. run a couple games of 2K. This nigga beat my ass by 40 I was fucking hot but I just dapped him up and said good game
11. nigga 6 foot 5, tattoos and light skin he not supposed to be good at video games he supposed to be good at takin selfies!! Homeboy had me fucked up & deep down I was rooting for this nigga downfall. The DreadGods didnât fail to disappoint
12. So Lyric (Roomie #2) comes home and sees Me and him playing the game and ask me who my friend is, I said naw this Tyra friend. She look at Tyra and gave her that str8 face look yâall give yâall homegirls when they being hoes
13. She donât say nun and go to her room, Tyra and Chris Browns tether chat it up some more then head to her room. He start clapping her up, you can hear her ass all thru the apartment
14. So I needed a reason not to hear that shit so I decided to take the trash out.
15. So Iâm walking back and I see a black charger pull up Iâm like... is that Tyraâs Boyfriend
16. I take the back way and SPRINT to the apartment, boyfriend was already out the car heading up the steps!! I couldnât miss this
17. I beat him there and as I get thru the door Tyraâs in the living room arguing with lyric! Homeboy like he bout to cry.. I can tell he never been in this situation before. Nigga aint built like me I wouldâve already hit that window
18. So get this right Tyra is telling Lyric to PRETEND that homeboy is there for her instead.. Lyric protest but eventually gives in. As homeboy knocks on the door Tyra says âHey babyâ and leaps in this nigga arms
19. Lyric in the kitchen hugged up with dude 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="SchĂ€del" aria-label="Emoji: SchĂ€del">.. Tyra and her bf sit on the other couch and start talking.. she knew she couldnât take that nigga to her room because it smelled like sex
20. see I KNEW that they bfs knew each other but apparently these hoes never double date, I already seen Tyra bf looking towards the kitchen suspiciously
21. And to make matters WORSE lyric is now kissing on dude neck.. dawg I was so shook Iâve been thru some shit but actually seeing it from a bystanders point of view is so fucking hilarious
22. So tell me how lyric take the nigga to her room right.. about 10 mins go by.. and Lyric bed loud as hell like if you sit on it it makes this annoying squealing squeak.. Well that bihh started squeaking https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="SchĂ€del" aria-label="Emoji: SchĂ€del">
23. At one point you here that nigga say âthis my pussy huh, she respond âitâs yours daddyâ TYRA SITTING ON THE COUCH LIKE
24. Dawg homeboy smashed both roommates in less than 1 HOUR!! I checked myself to see if he somehow absorbed my Nine Tailed Fuck Boy out me
25. it gets even MORE WILD.. 20 mins go by and guess who start banging on the door like the police https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Entgegenkommender Polizeiwagen" aria-label="Emoji: Entgegenkommender Polizeiwagen">... Lyric Boyfriend https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="SchĂ€del" aria-label="Emoji: SchĂ€del">
26. Tyra bf Jumps up & lets him in and lyric emerges from the room talking bout âhey babyâ and tries to hug him, this nigga mushes her face back and starts cussing her out
27. I look at this nigga shoes... black forces.. Tyra bf definitely texted this nigga because he came prepared
28. Tyra BF gonna sayâ on that note Iâll let yâall deal with that.. and takes Tyra and they go outside
29. Iâm sitting in the living room and they just arguing he like âWHERE THAT NIGGA ATâ and they go back to her room. She follows him and shuts the door behind her.
30. now Iâm scared because they in there for about 5 mins and I ainât hear nothing.. then I see homeboy come out of Tyra room, the bathrooms are connected, he mustâve slipped in there as soon as bf came home.
31. He gonna whisper to me âaye where they atâ then Lyric bed start squeaking...
32. Dawg the look on homeboy face https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="SchĂ€del" aria-label="Emoji: SchĂ€del"> he start crying and say âdawg you gotta help me I ainât even know they was on all that.. this nigga ass naked
33. I decided that i should assist a lil, I got up, opened the balcony door.. if he wanna escape he gonna have to earn it like Iâve had too foh
34. Homeboy runs into Tyra room to get his clothes, as he comes out Tyra & Her Bf walk back in .. I already knew after this I was moving out
35. âAYE BRO WTF AYE HE OUT HERE!!â
36. Now homeboy had a window for opportunity.. the balcony was open and we only up 2 stories.. he had a decision to make. Ass whooping or the leap of faith to freedom?
37. I learned that day that niggas ainât built like me https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ€ŠđŸââïž" title="Mann schlĂ€gt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (durchschnittlich dunkler Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Mann schlĂ€gt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (durchschnittlich dunkler Hautton)"> he ran for the door and Tyra Boyfriend grabbed him and slammed him in the ground and started beating his ass
38. Tyra gonna say âYEAH BABY BEAT HIS ASSâ
39. Lyric Boyfriend come out in his boxers.. he like âBITCH I KNEW ITâ and they both start stomping buddy
40. Iâm like damm I should help this nigga but then I remembered he beat me in 2K
41. they eventually stopped and let him run home naked lmao took that nigga clothes and all, Lyric got slapped by her man and it turned into a whole thing police got called and shit, Lyric snitched in Tyra too
42. Tyra Boyfriend broke her phone and left https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
43. So hours went bye and Tyra comes out and asked if she can use my phone to call her mom and I said yeah.. she steps away and comes back and says thank you.
44. I check my phone and notice no calls were made and that Iâm logged out of Instagram.. I look and see sheâs logged into hers.. a dm notification popped up on my screen..
45. I open it and itâs homeboy... she DM this nigga and guess what she said?
46. âLink Up?â
Moral: I only room with niggas now.
