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For the first time this publicly, I shared this weekend a snapshot of the bullying Iāve experienced in my life & how my dad kicked me out as a teen for being gay. Hoping to inspire folks to watch their words, especially to their children. Itās long but sharing here (thread):
Trigger warning (trauma, C-PTSD, abuse etc.)
Pt 1: TBT (Throw Back Thursday): Back to just before my dad decided he was done with me.
He had decided I was probably gay when I was 3 ish years old & wrote me off. I didnāt know it at the time (he told me many years later) ...
Pt 1: TBT (Throw Back Thursday): Back to just before my dad decided he was done with me.
He had decided I was probably gay when I was 3 ish years old & wrote me off. I didnāt know it at the time (he told me many years later) ...
Pt 2: ... but FELT it; lived under the shadow of feeling unwanted, shunned & worthless (he told me Iād never amount to anything).
I also didnāt know until recently I was The Family Scapegoat (had never heard of it). The more I read about it, the more I think I may have aced...
I also didnāt know until recently I was The Family Scapegoat (had never heard of it). The more I read about it, the more I think I may have aced...
Pt 3: ... the class on it.
Normally our house was often quiet if my dad was home; it was not only expected but everyone was pretty much scared to do anything to upset him (even the neighborhood kids knew to quickly pick up Monopoly & leave quickly).
He rarely ever spoke to ...
Normally our house was often quiet if my dad was home; it was not only expected but everyone was pretty much scared to do anything to upset him (even the neighborhood kids knew to quickly pick up Monopoly & leave quickly).
He rarely ever spoke to ...
Pt 4: ... to me at home. The minute I was old enough, I spent as much time as possible at relatives, the theater (life saver), numerous clubs/activities & friends.
My sister was the Golden Child in my dadās eyes. Mine too. I protected her every chance I got, even taking the ...
My sister was the Golden Child in my dadās eyes. Mine too. I protected her every chance I got, even taking the ...
Pt 5: ... taking the blame for things when needed due to what may come next (For those that know the term Golden Child, my sister did not have the traits of one, but was seen as one by my dad-hope that makes sense).
I probably wouldāve been the one to get it anyway as that ...
I probably wouldāve been the one to get it anyway as that ...
Pt 5: ... is how it usually went (meaning I often was blamed for everything).
Until I got older & one day said NO MORE (I was going to stand up to him from now on as I was big & tall enough aka boy thinks heās a man now).
I had just had some rough moments with my dad ...
Until I got older & one day said NO MORE (I was going to stand up to him from now on as I was big & tall enough aka boy thinks heās a man now).
I had just had some rough moments with my dad ...
Pt 6: ... regarding me being gay (he had gone through my closet for some reason & found some gay related magazines, movies etc someone gave me). Letās just say I got it. And it wasnāt pretty. Nor was it good because anger started boiling within me (cue: puberty/hormones).
I ...
I ...
Pt 7: ... forget how old I was-I think 13. He was still angry about it weeks later on the day he blew up about a pair of pants being on the floor (I had just got home from school & had changed clothes & had not picked them up yet when he stormed down the stairs into my room ...
Pt 8: ... because I was taking too long).
Our house was expected to be spotless & perfect at all times (Sleeping With The Enemy-ish).
He told me to get a belt. I said no. I had done nothing wrong & just hadnāt got to picking up the pants yet. And I said thereād be no more...
Our house was expected to be spotless & perfect at all times (Sleeping With The Enemy-ish).
He told me to get a belt. I said no. I had done nothing wrong & just hadnāt got to picking up the pants yet. And I said thereād be no more...
