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When it really comes down to it, if you are ready for a relationship and the person you’re interested in is not, then it’s important to realize that you shouldn’t have to convince someone that you are worth a commitment.
With that being said, just because someone told you they like you or have some kind of feelings for you, that doesn’t necessarily mean they want to be in a relationship with you. You being ready to take it to the next level doesn’t require the other person to feel the same way.
Truth to be told, when someone says they aren’t ready, that can either mean they thought both of you are moving at different paces, and they need you to allow them to move at their own pace, or maybe they are just not that into you, but they don’t want to hurt your feelings.
But either way, you shouldn’t allow yourself to feel unworthy of love. Just because they don’t love you the way you want to be loved, that doesn’t mean your way of loving them is wrong. You are good enough, but sadly your good enough isn’t enough for some people. And that’s okay.
When someone isn’t ready to commit to you, that means they aren’t ready to commit to the possibility of you two being together. And there’s nothing you can do to change that. You can fight for them with all your might, but there’s no point in fighting for a lost cause.
You can stick around them, waiting for them to change their mind, sure. You can try your best in making them see how deeply in love you are with them and how committed you are to them, but you can’t force them to commit to you. You can’t make them magically ready to be with you.
Waiting for someone to be committed to you can sometimes be emotionally draining. You might feel anxious, stressed or sad in wondering about your place in their heart. You might be staying up countless nights pondering if this waiting game might actually last indefinitely.
You also need to consider the fact that by waiting for this particular person to commit to you, you are actually making yourself unavailable for someone else who may be able to provide you with the type of serious commitment and emotional support that you’re seeking.
Hence, it’s very important for you to understand the reasons for why your partner is afraid of commitment. Do their past relationships hurt them badly that they are terrified of getting hurt again? Or do they just get out of a serious relationship and still need time to heal?
Or could it be that they aren’t really sure about their feelings towards you and they need more time together before they commit to you? Could their commitment issue came from their fear of not living up to your expectations of a good relationship? Go figure it out by yourself.
Have an honest conversation with your partner about this issue. By properly discussing about it, you will be able to better recognize if your partner actually wants the relationship to work out or if their fear of commitment is just an excuse to call your relationship off.
If you don’t see any indication from their side in committing to the relationship or if they are reluctant to talk about taking your relationship to the next level, then please take their words, or lack thereof as a sign for you to stop waiting for a miracle to happen.
Falling for someone who is afraid of commitment is disappointing, really. You gave them these benefits of a relationship when you knew that they aren’t ready for a relationship. You told yourself this over and over again: “They’re worth waiting for,” but are they, really?
Would you be able to wait for this person to commit to you even if it causes you to live in a constant state of limbo? If you would, then they’re worth sticking around a little bit longer. Perhaps one day, their “Not now” will turn into a “Yes”, who knows, right?
Nonetheless, be sure to clue your partner in as to your own timetable, since your happiness matters too. This is very crucial because if they aren’t willing to be respectful of your needs and time frame in return, then they aren’t worth your time at all.
And here is to those with commitment issue: don’t say “It’s not you, it’s me” or “I need some space” or “I’m not ready for something serious” when what you really mean is “I don’t think this is gonna work out.” Don’t string someone along if you aren’t going to change your mind.
I know how scary commitment is and how hard it is to start to consider plans for two when you’re not even sure about your plans for you. Thus, don’t pursue someone that you aren’t ready to commit to. But if you already did, be completely upfront to them about what’s on your mind.
Thus, if you want to keep the door open for you might be changing your mind someday and be ready to commit, let the other person know. Tell them “I’ll call when I’m ready”, or “Just give me a few weeks,” etc. A bit of honesty goes a long way to making things better for everyone.
Because if the truth should be told, when this readiness and commitment issues are brought up, we have to understand that everyone has their own timeline and milestone in a relationship. And we need to be okay with the fact that theirs might be different than ours and vice versa.
That being the case, if you know that you’re living on a timeline with a ticking clock that is getting louder, you have to date smart. It’s hopeless to be with someone who’s not on the same timeline as you are. You deserve commitment, not just love, and you know that. 
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