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Duo Lingo: For when you'd love to be able to translate "The crab drinks wine before the fox eats a banana", but ideally whilst being patronised by a cartoon owl wearing a monocle.
“Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimised by Duo Lingo.”
Is it ...the one with a picture of a ball? #DuoLingo
There are some people in my mentions who would definitely think "The European Union to fruit English" is a foreign plot. #DuoLingo
This would come in handy if you were planning a shellfish play-date. #DuoLingo
Just a lucky guess. #DuolingoMadness
Looks like someone's been dining at the Salmonella Tea Rooms again. #DuoLingo
I've paid the extra to have #Duolingo personalise the questions.
Beginning to suspect @mrnickharvey writes the Duolingo lessons.
I leave the encouragement setting on in Duolingo because I'm thirsty for patronising praise from an overdressed owl.
Me, talking about Boris Johnson. #Duolingo
A little bit of politics, there.
Feeling seen by this damned multilingual owl. #Duolingo
Too soon, Duolingo. Too soon.
Where they've famously abolished the written word. #Duolingo
#Duolingo wants to kill me.
Read the room, you feathery wanker. #Duolingo
Someone found the four-year-old jar of mussels at the back of the cupboard. #Duolingo
Damn those impossible body standards for elephants. #Duolingo
The year is 5079. The scorched Earth belongs to the cockroaches and Japanese knotweed.
Duolingo: Isn't it time you practised your French?
Duolingo: Isn't it time you practised your French?
I thought Duolingo was for studying languages, not Ancient History.
He's just chillin'. #Duolingo
Duolingo's fallen for #WayfairGate
In the last week, Duolingo has tried to sell me double-sided tape strong enough to stick a brick to a wall, a shoulder bag specifically for mobile phones, and a drill bit for splitting firewood. It's the Aldi central aisle of language apps.
Not now, Duolingo.
