this seems to be a topic of confusion, so I’d like to explain how it’s possible to be a nonbinary man or woman. thread!

first a few things about being nonbinary: nonbinary doesn’t mean having no gender, nor does it mean people can’t have any connection to one (or both) of the binary genders. it just means not being exclusively 100% male or female all of the time.

question: what are labels for? one possible answer for this context: they are supposed to convey our internal feelings to the external world. “nonbinary” + “man/woman” are the words that best explain some people’s experience of gender to other people.

a bit of visualisation for better understanding, because I get that all of this is confusing, because gender can be confusing. some people are close to the binary genders, but don’t fit them completely. they might be comfortable with labels such as “nonbinary man/woman”

when I said that I’m a nonbinary man someone told me it’s possible to be nonbinary male-aligned but I can’t be a man, because that’s a binary only term. sorry, but that’s honestly just label pedantry. it’s a word. if “man” works best to explain my identity, I’m going to use it.

I don’t believe in gatekeeping the terms man & woman, making them for binary people only. being nonbinary is part of our identity, we’re not trying to trick anyone into thinking we’re binary. it helps no one to tell us we can’t use words that describe our experiences best.

telling us nonbinary trans men & women we can only be nonbinary OR men/women is a bit like asking an ambidextrous person whether they’re left or right handed. I can say I’m nonbinary and I can say I’m a trans man, but both are incomplete answers without the other.

at the end of the day it’s just what feels right, you know? does it hurt you that some people feel like the words “nonbinary man/woman” describe their identity best to other people? don’t think so. you don’t need to understand to respect people’s identity.