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*Jerusalem 33 AD. Saturday 1:41 AM. Tomb Interior*
Jesus: I should have brought something to read.
Jesus: I should have brought something to read.
*Jerusalem 33 AD. Saturday 2:15 AM. Tomb Interior*
Jesus: SECOND VERSE, SAME AS THE FIRST! I'm Henery the Eighth I am, Henery the Eighth I am, I am...
Jesus: SECOND VERSE, SAME AS THE FIRST! I'm Henery the Eighth I am, Henery the Eighth I am, I am...
*Jerusalem 33 AD. Saturday 4:20 AM. Tomb Interior*
Jesus: Oh crap. I gotta pee.
Jesus: Oh crap. I gotta pee.
*Jerusalem 33 AD. Saturday 5:41 AM. Tomb Interior*
Jesus: Well, if I go back sleep now, I'll just be up all night tomorrow too.
Jesus: Well, if I go back sleep now, I'll just be up all night tomorrow too.
*Jerusalem 33 AD. Saturday 6:15 AM. Tomb Interior*
Jesus: LIKE A BLISTER IN THE SUN, LET ME GO OOOOON
Guard 1: You hear that?
Jesus: ...
Guard 2: No.
Jesus: ...
Guard 1: Eh.
Jesus: ᵂʰᵉⁿ ᴵ'ᵐ ᵃ ʷᵃˡᵏᶦⁿ', ᴵ ˢᵗʳᵘᵗ ᵐʸ ˢᵗᵘᶠᶠ
Jesus: LIKE A BLISTER IN THE SUN, LET ME GO OOOOON
Guard 1: You hear that?
Jesus: ...
Guard 2: No.
Jesus: ...
Guard 1: Eh.
Jesus: ᵂʰᵉⁿ ᴵ'ᵐ ᵃ ʷᵃˡᵏᶦⁿ', ᴵ ˢᵗʳᵘᵗ ᵐʸ ˢᵗᵘᶠᶠ
*Jerusalem 33 AD. Saturday 7:41 AM. Tomb Interior*
Jesus: Ha! A SEE-saw. I get it now. Gonna have to tell that one to Judas. Oh wait...
Jesus: Ha! A SEE-saw. I get it now. Gonna have to tell that one to Judas. Oh wait...
*Jerusalem 33 AD. Saturday 9:12 AM. Tomb Interior*
Jesus: (hands to face, palms out, eyes to holes) Guillermooooo.
Fuck I'm bored.
Jesus: (hands to face, palms out, eyes to holes) Guillermooooo.
Fuck I'm bored.
*Jerusalem 33 AD. Saturday 11:55 AM. Tomb Exterior*
Guard 1: What'd you bring for lunch?
Guard 2: Left it on the counter.
G1: Bummer.
G2: Could I have a bite of yours?
G1: Sorry, not enough.
Voice: ᴸᵒᵒᵏ ᵃᵍᵃᶦⁿ
G1: Oh wait, got another hoagie.
G2: Thanks!
Voice: ʷᵒᵒᵗ
Guard 1: What'd you bring for lunch?
Guard 2: Left it on the counter.
G1: Bummer.
G2: Could I have a bite of yours?
G1: Sorry, not enough.
Voice: ᴸᵒᵒᵏ ᵃᵍᵃᶦⁿ
G1: Oh wait, got another hoagie.
G2: Thanks!
Voice: ʷᵒᵒᵗ
*Jerusalem 33 AD. Saturday 1:55 PM. Tomb Interior*
Jesus: Behold! I am risen!
Jesus: Behold! I live!
Jesus: Hark...hark? Really?
Jesus: ...
Jesus: ...
Jesus: JOOOHN CEEENA! BA DABAH DAAAAA!!!!
Jesus: Behold! I am risen!
Jesus: Behold! I live!
Jesus: Hark...hark? Really?
Jesus: ...
Jesus: ...
Jesus: JOOOHN CEEENA! BA DABAH DAAAAA!!!!
*Jerusalem 33 AD. Saturday 2:55 PM. Tomb Exterior*
Guard: Who goes there?
Guy: Uber Eats.
Voice: ʷᵒᵒʰᵒᵒ
Guard: We didn't order any.
Voice: ᴵ ᵈᶦᵈ
Guy: Well it's paid for.
Voice: ᴶᵘˢᵗ ˡᵉᵃᵛᵉ ᶦᵗ, ᴵ'ˡˡ ᵍᵉᵗ ᶦᵗ ˡᵃᵗᵉʳ
Guard: Sweet, free food.
Voice: ᵈᶦᶜᵏ
Guard: Who goes there?
Guy: Uber Eats.
Voice: ʷᵒᵒʰᵒᵒ
Guard: We didn't order any.
Voice: ᴵ ᵈᶦᵈ
Guy: Well it's paid for.
Voice: ᴶᵘˢᵗ ˡᵉᵃᵛᵉ ᶦᵗ, ᴵ'ˡˡ ᵍᵉᵗ ᶦᵗ ˡᵃᵗᵉʳ
Guard: Sweet, free food.
Voice: ᵈᶦᶜᵏ
*Jerusalem 33 AD. Saturday 4:55 PM. Tomb Interior*
Jesus: What the?!
Robed Figure: I am Charon. Here to ferry you across the River Styx into Hades.
Jesus: Oh, Jewish Cemetery. Greek ones on the other side of town.
RF: Oh, sorry. My bad...Dont I know you?
Jesus: Uh...nope.
Jesus: What the?!
Robed Figure: I am Charon. Here to ferry you across the River Styx into Hades.
Jesus: Oh, Jewish Cemetery. Greek ones on the other side of town.
RF: Oh, sorry. My bad...Dont I know you?
Jesus: Uh...nope.
*Jerusalem 33 AD. Saturday 5:05 PM. Tomb Exterior*
Guard 1: ...
Guard 2: ...
Guard 1: ...
Guard 2: ...
*ᶠᵃʳᵗ*
Guard 1: *sniff*
Guard 2: ...
Guard 1: Dude, really?
Voice: ʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉ
Guard 1: ...
Guard 2: ...
Guard 1: ...
Guard 2: ...
*ᶠᵃʳᵗ*
Guard 1: *sniff*
Guard 2: ...
Guard 1: Dude, really?
Voice: ʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉʰᵉ
*Jerusalem 33 AD. Saturday 6:13 PM. Tomb Interior*
Jesus: I love all the children. All the little children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white...
Wow this song is REALLY problematic.
Jesus: I love all the children. All the little children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white...
Wow this song is REALLY problematic.
*Jerusalem 33 AD. Sunday 6:55 AM. Tomb Interior*
Jesus: Oh crap I overslept!!
Jesus: Oh crap I overslept!!
