Thread by @Kyle_T5, How I almost killed my self on accident by drowning: A Thread [...]

How I almost killed my self on accident by drowning: A Thread

Okay just so y’all know , I’m alive and well, definitely not a better man but an alive man. Viewers discretion is advised ion know what else to tell y’all but it’s about to go down

So as most people who have known me personally know that I moved to Germany after freshman year and that had to be the first time I felt depressed , but I’ve always adapted but when I first heard the news first thing I thought of was “MOMMA NO THEY RACIST OVER THERE”

But knowing my mom she don’t care what I say and boom we in another country coolin I can’t say nothing because I’ll be homeless on the streets of who knows where begging for dollars to buy me the cookies and cream jersey bars

But anyways it’s 6 months in and I learn the language fairly well after taking the intensive language course and immediately was out into regular classes with the other German kids and so I’m thinking to my self age man while I’m at it I might as well make some friends

So boom the whole school fw me automatically because I’m American , I ain’t know how much of an impact the US was until I had clout beyond imagination I couldn’t breathe but at the same time.. MF I HAD CLOUT

It’s summer and my mom gets into it with some ladies from the secretary’s office from the school which is beyonnnddd me and it forces me to transfer schools which hurt my loyal lil self

But plot twist my momma calmed down and let me stay longer at the school until the new house situation was settled

So at the end of the school year , these mfers in my class talking about how we gonna celebrate or party 5 mfers gonna suggest going to the swimming pool

Me, a non swimmer:

And I was like nahhh man lets play some sports or something , boy I suggested that like it wasn’t 80-90 degrees outside then boom I get jumped like crazy so I’m like “hahaaa I’m kidding, I’m down for swimming”

So the day comes and we pull up and I’m insecure about taking my shirt off but the life guards gonna tell me to take off my tank top

“ME?!?!!” oh hell nah that was not finna be the move

I can’t make this up, I tucked that tank in my shorts and when I got passed the guards I put the bih back on I ain’t never had to finesse people older than me in my life but that was worth it

Zooooom , we’re chilling around the pool and I’m walking around then I get splashed with hella water , so I turn my head and I see this big boy I know floating in that damn water smiling , I couldn’t say nun because it ain’t my country and I ain’t tryna start WWIV

I said WWIV because god knows how many wars were taking place when I was gone from America

So my friends get extra interested an they run over to the deepest pool and climb these ladders and I’m just watching them like, mfers jump off of that for fun? Couldn’t be me, but they head over to the highest one like

And then my biggest fear came along, these mfers call my name , “Abdel!! Komm springen” meaning “come jump” y’all expect me to dive in a pool when I can barely JUMP ROPE?!

JUMPPPPP?!??!???

But with how humble I am I kindly refused and told them maybe next time but the gag is AINT no next time I’m moving

But idk what demon possessed me but all of sudden I END UP ON THE DIVING BOARD?

Me: I can’t even swim
My 14 year old brain : Ion know man you got insurance you could get revived

I had a BET moment where in my head I heard my own voice narrating, “I bet you’re wondering how I got here” , im standing on the board thinking with a tank top on , and SURFER CHOKER ON MY NECK

I’m doing the math and finding the trajectory of where tf ima go with this so be begin with Plan A: I was going to jump towards the edge of the pool so i could grab onto it , so it would require me to jump to the side

And then while I’m finalizing my thoughts I hear a mf rushing me , my body shaking and tense and I look at them dead in their eyes like

So now the main event y’all have all been waiting for: “The Jump”

I held my nose but i didn’t jump, MF I WALKED OFF THE PLANK

HOW

Not only that BUT I FORGOT PLAN A SO NOW IM DEEP IN THE WATER

Now good thing I was smart because I wasn’t gonna go out sad , I watched a couple of videos on how to swim up

But my breathing skills hit me with that

5 GULPS OF WATER UNTIL I DECIDE TO CLOTHES MY MOUTH

So I’m talking to my self under water like I’m the Black Aquaman and tell myself “bro just do one stroke and you’ll be on the surface In NO TIME

This wouldn’t be the time for me to die Drake and Future we’re going crazy then but back to the point !

After the ONE STROKE I did, I looked at my arms like they stole the girlfriend I never had like BOI IF YOU DONT START WORKING

So as y’all could see plan B failed , and you would think I had plans on top of plans but hell nah, Plan C was my last and final option

Plan C: Boy you finna die , Do SOMETHING

I’m in the water DROWNING felt like 1 minute when in reality it was probably 10 and I’m under water trying to SHAKE myself out

like this

So thank god that I got tired and lost hope because I was legit gonna accept my fate and stopped moving and started praying

and god was probably looking down at me like I ain’t NEVEEER seen someone do this type of praying before

lemme give this my one more chance

My body , starts floating back up to the surface , and start seeing a light and someone reaching their hand out to be , bruh I lost it cuz I thought god took me serious when I said I was ready “you fr took me?”

Luckily it was a false alarm , and it ended up being one of my class mates helping me out of the water a real one for that

My headache was on TEN when I got outta there due to those 5 gulps of water earlier so I had to lie down the rest of the time we were there and til this day my momma don’t know what happened because who knows where I woulda been

But yeah that’s the story of how I almost died , but fr tho after that A1 nap I knew at the end of the day I would still have all the clout I had since day 1 and more

Bonus: This would go great on my resume if I were to apply for the remake of Titanic. I magically find my way back up and push shorty to the side because she knows damn well there’s space for the both of us

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