Story about the first time I interacted with an ex-Muslim, and why they obsess with Islam.

My childhood friend called me one day and admitted he’s struggling with his deen. I was known in my friend circle as someone knowledgeable on this stuff, so he asked if he could come
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over and ask some questions. I said yes and he came by later that day. He started asking me question after question about Islamic things he found illogical or that didn’t make sense to him. Each time I gave a sufficient answer where he couldn’t respond, he would go to
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this online ex-Muslim forum. I didn’t know what ex-Muslims were at the time, so I thought it was just a site that was causing him doubt and he wanted to see their responses.

Only later on did I realize he’s *been* an ex-Muslim and only came to try and sow doubts in me
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I didn’t know at the time, so I thought he was genuinely seeking for answers. Instead, he was trying to spread some sort of “anti dawah” and hopefully make me one of them. It failed miserably because even his forum ended up not able to refute some big points
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Regardless, he eventually left. When I learned the truth about his intentions later on, it taught me something.

Why did he want to sow doubts in me? Why does he want others to leave Islam with him?

Fear. Allah swt mentions analogies of their situation in the Quran
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“Or [it is] like a rainstorm from the sky within which is darkness, thunder and lightning. They put their fingers in their ears against the thunderclaps in dread of death. But Allah is encompassing of the disbelievers.” [2:19]
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They’re in a state of fear, constantly seeking validation for their kufr. What better way to fulfil that validation than having others agree with them? This is why he specifically came to me, he wanted to see someone he considered knowledgeable to doubt or leave Islam
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Do they get some ethereal reward for their “anti dawah?” Is it to please some sort of god? No, it’s to fill this constant need of validation to lessen their fear, but Allah will encompass them in it completely. This is why they obsess with Islam, they want to see it fail so
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they can feel they made the right choice.

So don’t be confused when you see them constantly talking about Islam. They left it, but Allah hasn’t left them. It will linger in their minds and they will look for any distraction or echo chamber to feel at ease
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Don’t let their tactics get to you. Stay patient and seek genuine help, Allah swt will protect you.