Braves win. Camargo is a hottie. That’s all.

Braves win. Camargo is my Panamanian Prince. Julio is my ace. Viz is my closer. That’s all.

Braves win. Max Fried’s curve is sex. That’s all.

Braves win. Gausman throws nothing but gas. Ronnie loves a good fish fry. That’s all.

Braves win. Dansby is a hottie. That’s all.

Braves win. Ronnie ain’t worried about the haters. Dansby is still a hottie. That’s all.

Braves win. Ronnie is a beast. Dansby has managed to get even hotter. Max Fried is my baby daddy. That’s all.

Braves win. Touki is a king. JD finally brought the rain. That’s all.

Braves win. Julio better than Jacob. JD brought the rain again. That’s all.

Braves win. Don’t call it a comeback. That’s all. (04/20)

Braves win. Max Fried is my ace. Donaldson made it rain twice in 2 innings. That’s all.

Braves win. Soroka ain’t no joke-a. (This is my new phrase) Ozzie is a very educated man and a very good baseball player. That’s all.

Braves win. Ozzie’s a king. JD’s a beast. Luke Jackson should be cloned. That’s all.

Braves win. Ozzie’s still a king. Soroka still ain’t no joke-a. That’s all.

Braves win. I want to have Max Fried’s babies. Dansby can be the godfather. That’s all.

Braves win. I had 2 margaritas. I don’t know who did what. That’s all.

Braves win. Soroka ain’t no joke-a. Ozzie did a thing. That’s all.

Braves win. Max Fried WILL be the father of my children. Julio is my Columbian king. That’s all.

Braves win. My Columbian King showed out. Dansby is beautiful. That’s all.

Braves win. Chase Field is Dansby’s house. The Panamanian Prince is a beautiful man with beautiful hair and hits homers while blowing bubbles. That’s all.

Braves win. The Panamanian Prince is still a beautiful man. I love my mama. She’s the best. That’s all.

Braves win. Austin Riley is a BEAST. Mike Soroka can make maple taffy for me any time he likes. That’s all.

Braves win. Austin Riley. Julio Teheran. That’s all.

Braves win. Max Fried is my baby daddy. Every single Braves’ starter got a hit, including Maximus and I almost suffered a heart attack in the 9th inning. That’s all.

Braves win. Austin Riley is still a fucking BEAST. Freddie Freeman is a GOD. That’s all.

Braves win. Soroka ain’t no joke-a. Ronnie is my leadoff king and Austin Riley is my rookie of the year. That’s all.

Braves win. Max Fried and I will get married one day and Austin Riley will be the best man. That’s all.

Braves win. Austin Riley can get it. Somehow, Luke Jackson’s arm is still connected to his body. That’s all.

Braves win. Folty byke. Dansby whipped his cock out not once, but TWICE. That’s all.

Braves win. My heart is still racing. That’s all.

Braves win. Austin Riley can stay forever. Soroka did Soroka things. Johan Camargo is and always will be my baby. That’s all.

Braves win. Dansby can father my children. The Tigers stink and I’m glad. That’s all.

Braves win. Riley’s a beast. JD murdered a baseball. Freddie has power and I hope Ronnie wears 10 chains around his neck tomorrow. That’s all.

Braves win. Jose Urena stinks. Ronald Acuña does not. That’s all.

Braves win. Austin Riley can stay forever. Luke Jackson > Craig Kimbrel. That’s all.

Braves win. Ronnie is to the Marlins as Chipper was to the Mets. That’s all.

Braves win. Camargo is my baby. Kevin pitches like a baby. JD acted like a baby. That’s all.

Braves win. 5 rally killer homers were hit in honor of their 5th consecutive win. That’s all.

Braves win. Austin Riley is your 2019 NL ROTY. Ozzie is my favorite tiny person in the entire world. That’s all.

Braves win. I don’t know what the fuck happened today but I do know that I love Julio. Always and forever. That’s all.

Braves win. Brian McCann is undoubtably the only guy that can make me cry over a regular season win. That’s all.

Braves win. Everybody is amazing. I will gladly father Ynoa’s babies. Also, Gabe Kapler is the biggest goober in all of baseball right now. That’s all.

Braves win. Our offense is LETHAL and I couldn’t give a damn about what any of those turds in the media said in the offseason. That’s all.

Braves win. The JD haters can suck on it. Still waiting on Maximus to father my children. That’s all.

Braves win. Don’t know how they did it. I love everybody. That’s all.

Braves win. My Panamanian prince strikes again. Praying that our baby giraffe will be okay. That’s all.

Braves win. I went to sleep early, but #ChopOn That’s all.

Braves win. DK is a beautiful man and Markakis is alright with me. That’s all.

Braves win. Camargo is daddy and I love to ride him. That’s all.

Braves win. Austin Riley committed a murder tonight and some how, some way, my heart managed to stay in my chest during the bottom of the 9th inning. That’s all.

Braves win. Phillies stink. That’s all.

Braves win. I have a headache. Dansby is a beautiful beast. That’s all.

Braves win. B-Mac loves walk-offs on Fridays. That’s all.

Braves win. I hate everyone. That’s all.

Braves win. Baseball is the best. I don’t make the rules. That’s all.

Braves win. I need a therapist. That’s all.

Braves win. I am in shambles. Freddie, Donnie, Ronnie, and Soroka all deserve a gold medal. That’s all.

Braves win. Freddie Freeman is the best first baseman in all of baseball. That’s all.