Ok you all voted that you wanted to hear about dumb tinder boy so here’s the thread:

tinder guy is actually nice tho he ordered Wendy’s to my house one time

tinder guy told me he loved me after a week - I gave him a chance to back track but he just repeated it

tinder guy doesn’t know what pears are

this is literally every time the tinder guy comes over

tinder boy told me he shared a bed with his uncle growing up and it wasn’t weird (????)

So.... I think I have to be done with him

Also tinder boy told me that seeing each other once a week was too consistent?? I was like

My main concern was if he was still going to take me to the airport next week - he said he will but what do y’all think

Y’all he did take me to the airport! He seemed apprehensive about picking me up on my return flight though (even tho he already offered) how will I get home tomorrow morning

Also he texted me asking how San Francisco has been and I was like “love it it’s so sunny” and then he tried to one up me by saying chicago was sunnier ?????

So tinder boy didn’t pick me up from the airport but I don’t blame him it was a weekday so traffic was insane but I think he should pay for half my uber

Other thing - we were FaceTiming and my arm looked like it was amputated and so we started talking about bones and he told me he eats full chicken bones ???? Like said it casually like it was normal????

He also said he wouldn’t hook up with me if I was an amputee - but that’s for another day

Like this dude legit said “I mean watch me I’ll put a whole chicken wing in my mouth and nothing will come out” like dead ass not fucking with me

He asked his friend and his friend does it too ??? Do y’all eat the whole chicken bone or is this fucked up

A redeeming thing is that he reminds me to take my strep meds which I find stable and kind - should my standards in men be higher

Tinder guy didn’t know that you wash your bed sheets he thought you just buy new ones

Update: he didn’t know what cinco de Mayo is

But he’s going out tonight for it ???? I’m-

back with another update we’re just over 5 months of hanging out and he’s stopped ordering me food when we hang out - do you think we’re over soon

Ope another thing I forgot to tell y’all - he legit got a job down the street from my new job and then said I was following him? Like ????

Now we run into each other on the street sometimes because he starts when I usually take my break - the first time it happened I didn’t recognize him lol

Not sure if me not recognizing him is a bad sign or just that it was the first time of me seeing him out of the context of my apartment - thoughts

ok so I’m at work and I see a fine ass dude walk in I start getting ready like ok it’s happening gotta flirt then I realize it’s FUCKING TINDER BOY

I feel very validated with my choices up to this point because objectively he’s hot to the point where I was like do I even talk to this kid? No way I have a chance BUT I DO I FUCKING ALREADY DID THAT

(I won’t factor in that I still haven’t gotten my glasses fixed so I’m pretty blind)

I showed tinder boy this pic and he said “why she make you look so damn tall? You look like a giant. You a GIANT gyal.”

It’s official y’all - after 8 months me and tinder boy are over. I’d like to thank my past traumas for making me unable to feel actual emotions and you all for joining me in this journey I think I will miss getting late night Wendy’s the most lmao

Omg you guys I forgot to add to the thread BUT a couple weeks ago we had lunch together and HE ATE THE WHOLE CHICKEN BONE right in front of my eyes I couldn’t believe what I was seeing

wow I didn’t think I would ever add on this thread again but on top of all the other shit people decided to test me with this weekend OG tinder boy decided to hit me up after THREE MONTHS with no contact - when I say I am EXHAUSTED

SO basically he cut things off with me 3 months ago but today he chose to tell me that I was the one who ghosted him LOL I gave him receipts and he said “oh well”

but to make a long fuckin story short i invited him to see my new apartment and I think we’re gonna start hanging out again

So he said he wanted to come over and then never replied back to me - should I call him out for ghosting me AGAIN?

I called him out and it was very anti climatic (he just said he’s been at work) BUT he’s probably most likely coming over tonight so I’ll touch base with y’all tomorrow morning to let you know what happens

Omg you guys he’s gonna buy me an Uber to his place BUT I’m on my period - do I say fuck it and go

ok well heres the update im finally ready to talk about it

I went to his house and noticed it was kind of disheveled (couch coushins out of place etc) I asked him why and he said the exterminators had been there that day for BED BUGS

he said it was preventative but also said he didnt know for sure if he had them. when i say i YELLED at that man. I left my BED BUG FREE house to go to his POSSIBLY INFESTED house

was yelling an over reaction

either way i escaped bed bug free and he came over last night

kiki remembered him!! she was so pumped to see him which makes me feel like i should be more careful about who i let come in and out of her life - was she traumatized and missing him during our time apart?? my poor sweet girl

tinder guy came over tonight and I changed into a HUGE shirt for bed and he suggested we try to both fit in it at once and it WORKED lmao we tried walking around in it but he’s like 8 inches taller than me so it was hard lol

I went through his wallet tonight and saw that his ID says he’s 3 years younger than he told me he is weve dead ass known each other for a year and i dont know how old he actually is lmao

he said he couldn’t tell me why his ID says he’s younger cus it’s “too personal” so I think he may be in witness protection but I guess I don’t really care cus we have a lot of fun together

OMG I also found a Starbucks gift card in his wallet when I was going through it and he said I could have it since he doesn’t go and I just checked the balance and it’s $30 on it

I forgot to mention that he didn’t know what witness protection was so I explained it but I don’t think he understood still cus he said he’d be richer if he was in it ????

have I told y’all that he’s not from here? hes from Barbados (or Nigeria - he hasn’t been super clear on that either)

update time! so as we learned last week tinder boy is from Barbados BUT what I didn’t mention was I was feeling sad because his visa was set to expire next month and I was under the impression he was going home :/

as fate would have it he’s extending his stay!!!! (also idk any details on how or why so don’t bother asking lmao) im excited I won’t have to say bye forever to him but this complicates things a lil cus like - now what? lmao we’ve been hanging out for a year

ANYWAY down to the real thing - I’m flying to Minneapolis and he said that if he can’t take me to the airport he will send me a lyft do you think he will?

he said he would definitely pick me up when I get home tho lol it was so cute when I told him I was going out of town he was like “NO GIRL NO GOD NO DONT LEAVE ME ALONE IN CHICAGO NO NO” he said he was impersonating Michael from the office

the other night he came over and wanted to watch a movie so I put on Shrek and he threw a fit so I let him pick and he chose hitch lmao and I asked had he ever seen it before and he said once but then went on to recite every line of the movie and told me it’s his fav movie lol

wow guys I’m at a loss for words I asked him what side he lands on the great cookie debate (the cookies I’m referencing are attached below) and he said “i don’t know them cookies” THIS MAN HAS NEVER HAD THESE COOKIES I’m-

also forgot to update but we had our one year anniversary of hooking up on Saturday! we celebrated by not speaking all weekend

alright y’all are NOT going to believe this but not only did he order me a Lyft to the airport this weekend BUT he also PICKED ME UP from my flight home I couldn’t believe

problematic thing tho: he said that we are gonna have to go our separate ways soon. After a LOT of pushing i basically gleened that he thinks we are getting too involved and that we’ve been seeing each other for too long :/

I like get it cus true where is this going but also how about you don’t hold over my head that you’re gonna ghost me soon but then continue to contact me and make plans???

hey y’all I never followed up but I basically backed off and he hit me up SO MUCH and like made plans first and allat lol like tf

so BASICALLY we’re still on and better than ever I think he was just freaking himself out? Lol

but it was great I was confiding in him about some stuff that’s going on with my life recently (this retrograde has been WILD to say the least) and to summarize he validated my feelings and told me that I’m capable and need to give myself more credit I almost started levitating

this was all less than a week after he tried to dump me lol SO WEIRD how open discussions about concerns within a relationship foster a more caring and fulfilling relationship WHO WOULDA THOUGHT

ANYWAYS I also found out he’s never tried Mac and cheese (and he doesn’t want to?) so that’s the next battle

guys i have a flight today and he wasnt able to take me or order me a car (work conflicts) but he just called to make sure I woke up and figured out a way there am I.... married?

I’m a little peeved with tinder boy cus he went on a quarantine supply run and asked if I needed anything he got me all the things I asked for except I guess he’s never heard of Reese’s?? so I told him to get me minis but he got me thins? THINS lmao

also I know I’m not allowed to be mad and I’m not ACTUALLY mad but like damn you really didn’t know what Reese’s were????

and tf you tryna tell me by getting me THINS??!

fr tho he’s been v sweet and helpful amid the supply shortage but I’m hoping he stops driving Lyft and switches to food delivery so he’s not exposed to as many people

ok his pussy is cancelled he said that we need to social distance even tho he already made plans with me on Thursday AND hasn’t given me my supplies yet

ok so as of now we’re gonna hang tonight he wants to do a mukbang (basically where you buy a shitload of food and binge usually on camera) where should we get food from? reply if we should eat somewhere else

we got chili’s!!! It was sooooo bomb and we had his leftovers in the morning and they heated up good too I was shocked

tonight he’s coming over and we’re having a dominos mukbang and we’re ordering chicken wings so STAY TUNED I’ll tell you guys if he eats the bone this time

as of now he’s eaten the bone one out of two times that I’ve seen him eat wings but I think the time he didn’t was because he hated the wings (they were from jewel so what should we have expected)

I’m thinking about making us cookies for dessert (from a mix of course lol) should I tell him they’re homemade from scratch? he always gives me shit when I say I made something but it’s like something frozen lol

I just sent tinder guy this text - and now we wait... I’ll circle back with y’all when he replies

he never replied about the pic :/ we will see what he has to say about this