4. *Clears throat*
Men in GA: If you really want to legislate deep in my ladyparts, KNOW THIS-
I am coming for your balls.

100% of pregnancies are caused by ejaculation, and I’m wholly prepared to sponsor a bill criminalizing that nut.

SAY I FUCKING WON’T.
-A bitch who will

One more time, in case Rep. Hillwilliam Knuckledragger didn’t hear me over the sound of coal-rolling to the Chick-Fil-A:

I will make it my personal business to make you think of me every time you ejaculate.

I’ve got the time. I just turned 40 and I’m not getting any nicer.

Pregnancy is not caused by loose morals in women, short skirts on girls, loud music, cussing, or skipping church.

It’s caused by semen.
FULL WHOLE STOP.

Y’all can’t practice judicious marksmanship, then maybe you shouldn’t be ALLOWED to shoot your wad.

Oh, sounds totally bonkers, doesn’t it?

“LOL criminalize my load, HAR HAR!”
“Sheeet, if busting one was illegal, we’d all be in jail.”

Yes. That is how dumb you sound.

HB481 is drafted in a way that criminalizes *miscarriages.* Many of which appear to be regular ol’ periods.

That feeling you feel when you think about having to report to your doctor how many times you ejaculated, where and with whom? The utter disbelief at the gross violation of your privacy, the sheer indecency of it all?

GUESS TF WHAT, MY GOOD BITCH. That’s the bullshit you’re on.

And this is the problem with contextualizing reproductive justice as a matter of privacy.

White men* have never in their whole white lives respected the privacy or personal agency of anybody not also a white man.

*Shorthand for GA House Republican Caucus

It’s not about privacy. It CAN’T be about privacy. Privacy’s subjective.

It’s about EQUAL PROTECTION UNDER THE LAW.

You can’t enjoy full personhood without complete bodily autonomy, and yes that includes trans folx, disabled folx, immigrants, and *sweeps arms at world* errbody.

And listen.

Some of these elected high-and-whiteys had the chalky high-definition caucacity to say on the floor of MY state capitol that Black babies are aborted more frequently than white babies, so it’s the abortion people who are racist, see?
They wanna abort Black babies!

How tf they fixed their lips to lie like that is beyond my comprehension.

This is about maintaining economic disparity among Black and brown women. Thassit. Controlling a woman’s ability to have or not have children is absolutely how you keep her vulnerable.

Lawmakers, if you care about Black babies and kids, try:
1. Expanding Medicaid, doofuses.
2. Implementing comprehensive gun control legislation.
3. Stopping the shameful school-prison pipeline.
4. Taking some sort of action to maybe stop mothers from fucking DYING in Georgia.

You know what? My coffee and adderall just kicked in and I LIKE IT UP HERE ON THIS HIGH HORSE, so I’m just gonna go all the way off about abortion.

We’re talking about abortion more, which is a good thing.

It’s a medical procedure like a colonoscopy, and don’t come at me with how it’s different because a colon polyp isn’t a tiny sentient human like a fetus is.

IT IS NOT A PERSON WITH PERSONHOOD.

F’real:
If you are arguing against safe and legal access to abortion because you read in a poorly-translated book somewhere that God Above thinks it’s murder—

This is not intellectual amateur hour. Come back when you get the training wheels off. Scripture isn’t logic or reason.

So we’re talkin about abortion now and this is a good thing.

Roe was decided as a matter of privacy.

Privacy became a code word for shame. A full generation after Roe and we’re still stuck in this idea that we need to keep our abortions private because they’re shameful.

NAH.

But with this new discourse of women discussing when and why they chose abortion, I’ve seen some cisbabes make salty comments about their own infertility.

Some of y’all spent good money on IVF and felt like you bought the right to be mad at somebody else’s abortion.

If you read someone’s personal abortion story and experienced feelings of jealousy, longing, anger, judgment, or a desire to discredit their experience because *they* did not want the pregnancy that *you* want, I have some related news for you:

I am sorry for your pain. I feel it too. I miss the children I don’t have and never met.

But if you say peep about your peers and contemporaries who aborted their pregnancies, By God I will snatch you baldheaded.

They ended THEIR pregnancy. Not yours.

This is what we mean by reproductive justice:

We accept and affirm that every person who can bear children is entitled to decide when, why, and how they will do so, if they choose to do so.

We will accept no less for ourselves, and defend this human right for others.

Poor people are entitled to have children.
Single people are entitled to have children.
People with disabilities are entitled to have children.
People with mental illness are entitled to have children.

And everybody is also entitled end a pregnancy, too. Full stop. DONE.

You’ll notice I say “people” here instead of women. Even though I myownself are, in fact, a wimmern-type.

Not all women have wombs. Not all people who have wombs are women.

Defining myself and others as women based on the utility of our plumbing ain’t right and ain’t feminist.

And yes I mean everybody is entitled to end their pregnancy.

No waiting periods, no judge’s permission, no parent sign-off, no absolutely ghoulish transvaginal ultrasound so you can see the zygote before you evict it.

And get the fuck out with your exceptions for rape/incest.

Because these exceptions in cases of rape and incest are intended to appear as though though the draconian legislation is tempered with mercy.

But really, all it does is tip their hand. Allowing these exceptions indicates EXACTLY what the paternalism wants.

Rape/incest are the only circumstances that conservatives can imagine in which the woman is NOT at fault.

By their logic, any other pregnancy is the result of her actions and decisions, and she must accept the child as a consequence.

This is literally
PUNITIVE REPRODUCTION.

This is compulsory reproduction, imposed as a consequence on women who disregard the moral expectations of American paternalist Christianity.

By allowing exceptions for rape and incest, they confirm that the whole fucking point is to keep women in their place.

The malignant patriarchy that denigrates the morality of those with unplanned/unwanted pregnancies, does so with the intent of suppressing them.

Welp. Fucked around and got knocked up, did you? Guess you’ll have to drop out/get married/otherwise submit to the will of others.

The same patriarchy that treats female/AFAB children as the property of their fathers until they become the property of their husbands.

(Look up purity balls if you’re bored and like nightmares. Girls pledging their virginities to their dad-owner and Jesus-boyfriend. It’s wild)

And of course, it’s the same patriarchy that normalizes assault/harassment of women not wearing wedding bands; men will respect another man’s property before he respects a woman.

(I got groped this last week even AFTER I made it clear I was married, btw.)

So because we framed abortion rights as privacy, they’re whittled away.

Because they were never about bodily autonomy.

Because we don’t have any.

His body is his, and ours are his, too. And by his, I mean your dad, spouse, bf, older brother, rapey boss, minister, etc.