So, hey.
I somehow managed to book a creepy log cabin to do some intensive writing in for a few days...
I somehow managed to book a creepy log cabin to do some intensive writing in for a few days...
I’ve been laughing to myself about just how cliched-horror-movie this cabin is. But at 5.30am, out of nowhere, despite it blowing a gale out there for hours, wind chimes start chiming for the first time from the porch...
Now, I’m just about to go to bed, but I’m not sleeping through annoying, spontaneous wind chimes, so I head out there...
And I see the wind chimes hanging on a rusty hook. I figure I can reach them, and I walk out onto the porch in my socks.
And the door immediately slams shut behind me. Of course...
And the door immediately slams shut behind me. Of course...
I frantically check the door’s not locked. It isn’t. I’m not stuck on this porch in this gale in my socks and a T-shirt. But I do hear something in the bushes...
I don’t think much of it. There’s been possums running all over the roof all night (cute Australian possums, not those weird US ones). It’s the bush, things are allowed to move in bushes...
I manage to stand on my tippy toes and grab the rusted wind chimes from the rusted nail they’re hanging on, and I hear the noise again...
Now I’m kind of giggling to myself because of how creeped out I’m feeling, so I grab my phone to take a photo of the murder cabin I’m writing in for a few days. Here it is...
And straight after I take the photo, there’s a flash. I check to see if my phone’s flash is on - it is. I try to turn it off to take another photo, but something flashes over me...
And it didn’t come from my phone...
And there’s the sound again. But this time it’s heavier. Like a footstep...
And there’s another flash against the wall of the cabin.
I pull my phone out of my pocket, thinking I’ve left the torch on, which I somehow have, and I manage to shine it in my own face as I try to turn it off to take another photo of the cabin...
I pull my phone out of my pocket, thinking I’ve left the torch on, which I somehow have, and I manage to shine it in my own face as I try to turn it off to take another photo of the cabin...
But then I realize I didn’t shine my phone in my face. Something else flashed in my face, & my brain is yelling at me...
I’m telling myself I’m being stupid and that I did flash my own face & the ‘footstep’ was probably a kangaroo or something, so I turn to confront the animal making the sound, and...
And, at 5.30am, in the dark, outside the murder cabin, SOMEONE IS STANDING THERE...
I can’t see their face. They’re wearing a head torch...
And I’m running. I know I slipped at some stage in my socks, as I ran up the porch. I definitely kicked the wind chimes. I ran through the door and slammed it shut and locked it...
And here’s the thing. Several tweets later, I’m sure it was probably just a super-early-morning jogger or something, who was curious about the guy standing in his socks taking photos of a cabin with a flash...
But if it wasn’t, I’m letting you all know, just in case.
And here’s this helpful picture I accidentally took mid-panic-run, if you need photographic evidence to go with this testimony.
And here’s this helpful picture I accidentally took mid-panic-run, if you need photographic evidence to go with this testimony.
Update: I just heard the wind chimes again. The wind chimes I know for fact aren’t hanging up anymore.
THIS IS SCREWED. I am not joking. Lying in bed and the bedroom door just suddenly blew open with a bang...
I realize it’s been 8 hours. Just wanted to let you all know, I’m okay.
The story didn’t end there, but my phone battery did, and the charger was in my car OUTSIDE - so, you know, physically impossible to retrieve...
The story didn’t end there, but my phone battery did, and the charger was in my car OUTSIDE - so, you know, physically impossible to retrieve...
So, this is what happened next.
Before my phone died, I spoke to my wife and told her I was sure I’d be fine.
And then I took a video... of the bedroom ceiling...
Before my phone died, I spoke to my wife and told her I was sure I’d be fine.
And then I took a video... of the bedroom ceiling...
I’m lying in bed, and the ceiling is making this sound... and then my phone dies...
I’m lying there staring at the ceiling, which is apparently counting down to my death, when the wind chimes rattle across the porch floor, and then something very big runs across the roof...
I’m assuming it was a large possum, and definitely not a hellbeast.
Eventually, exhausted, I close my eyes...
Eventually, exhausted, I close my eyes...
And I wake up to a BANG!
I’m instantly more awake than I’ve ever been before. I’m on my feet, but I don’t remember getting out of bed...
I’m instantly more awake than I’ve ever been before. I’m on my feet, but I don’t remember getting out of bed...
Someone is BASHING ON THE FRONT DOOR...
I’m standing motionless, in my underwear, ignoring the still-ticking ceiling, trying not to breathe too loud, trying not to make a single sound. I AM A PETRIFIED NINJA...
The bashing starts again...
Without stopping to do anything sensible that would make me feel less vulnerable, like put on pants, I walk slowly to the front door, and there’s a large shadow on the venetian blinds. A very big person is standing on the porch of this remote cabin...
Without stopping to do anything sensible that would make me feel less vulnerable, like put on pants, I walk slowly to the front door, and there’s a large shadow on the venetian blinds. A very big person is standing on the porch of this remote cabin...
The bashing starts again.
I, eloquently, call out, “WHAT?!”
The bashing stops...
I, eloquently, call out, “WHAT?!”
The bashing stops...
I see the guy shift and he calls out.
“Package”...
“Package”...
After the night I’ve had l, there’s no way I’m opening the door to a stranger delivering a package to a remote cabin...
Also, I’m in my underwear.
Also, I can’t open the door because I frantically locked it during the night and I have no idea what I’ve done with the keys...
Also, I’m in my underwear.
Also, I can’t open the door because I frantically locked it during the night and I have no idea what I’ve done with the keys...
He calls out, “Can you sign for it?”
After a way-too-long-and-awkward-pause, I say, “Um... No?”
...
After a way-too-long-and-awkward-pause, I say, “Um... No?”
...
Helpfully, I call out, “Just leave it, mate!”
“I can’t really...”
“JUST LEAVE IT!”
...
“I can’t really...”
“JUST LEAVE IT!”
...
Why are so many of you asking me what’s in the mysterious package?
Why the hell would I open it? You think I’m going to bring it INSIDE??
No. It stays outside. With the wind chimes.
Why the hell would I open it? You think I’m going to bring it INSIDE??
No. It stays outside. With the wind chimes.
Okay. Yes, I see the bear thing in the fireplace. I assume it was a weird reflection, and it looks cuddly, so I’m not worried. But to the people who pointed out what looks like a person standing in the window of the cabin in the photo I took last night, YOU ARE NOT HELPING.
After seeing the ‘definitely not a person’ in that last picture, I decided to check the other rooms in this place. Found this tiny chair in front of an old television with no reception. How FUN.
There’s something running over the roof. I tried to get a video where you can hear the footsteps. Got this instead.
*Insert gif of Jake Perolta nervously saying, “Cool. Cool. Cool.”*
*Insert gif of Jake Perolta nervously saying, “Cool. Cool. Cool.”*
Thought *for a bit of fun* I’d take my laptop and do a little writing in the tiny chair.
And I seriously can’t remember putting this there...
And I seriously can’t remember putting this there...
All totally normal.
Hey. Sorry for the loud noise. Squished my toe with the tiny chair.
I’m in bed now. I want to go to sleep.
But something is on the roof...
I’m in bed now. I want to go to sleep.
But something is on the roof...
It sounds... bigger than anything else I’ve heard on the roof up to now...
Hey. Sorry to all the people asking if I’m alive. Yes. I’m okay. Just been writing in isolation all day. Thanks to the news sites checking in too. Nice to see my living nightmare has made @TIME Magazine... http://time.com/5558954/nightmare-cabin/">https://time.com/5558954/n...
Oh. There is one thing to report from today. But it’s almost not worth reporting because, like, is this cabin even trying anymore...?
So, there are two bedside tables in my room. And, seriously, I almost didn’t bother sharing this because it’s just so... blatant.
Try harder, cabin. Where’s the subtlety?
Anyway, I opened one and...
Try harder, cabin. Where’s the subtlety?
Anyway, I opened one and...
I’m not opening the other bedside table.
To everyone telling me to open the other bedside table, you’re the worst.
Thanks. This is just...
This is so much worse.
This is so much worse.
So. Remember the wind chimes?
I can hear them chiming again. The only problem is there’s no wind, and they’re not even outside anymore.
I brought them in and put them with the package on the old wooden dollhouse.
I can hear them chiming again. The only problem is there’s no wind, and they’re not even outside anymore.
I brought them in and put them with the package on the old wooden dollhouse.
The stuffed toy on the dollhouse isn’t a bear. It’s called a Bilby - which is kind of an Australian native bunny. It’s a marsupial. We give out chocolate ones at Easter. I wouldn’t call it haunted.
It could be a fluke thing. It might have been a moth. There have been a lot of moths at that window tonight...
No. I didn’t go outside and investigate the ghost bear from childhoods past!
Why don’t YOU go out and investigate?!
Why don’t YOU go out and investigate?!
$&@%!!!!
THERE IS LEGITIMATELY SOMETHING TRYING TO COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY!!!
Someone’s here.
Someone’s standing on the damn porch.
Someone’s standing on the damn porch.
And I’ve left the door open... because I’m an idiot.
Okay. Time to face whatever the hell this is now...
Sorry. I know you want updates.
It was a guy saying he was here to fix the phone line.
BUT here’s the thing, there’s definitely no phone line here.
It was a guy saying he was here to fix the phone line.
BUT here’s the thing, there’s definitely no phone line here.
I explained that I was working and I didn’t have much time, but he told me he had to come in now - as there was no way they were going to get anyone else to come out here again.
???
???
So... I let him in.
And there’s definitely no phone line.
But he went straight to the old CRT TV with the tiny chair in the nook in the kids’ room.
I snapped this photo, but my phone wasn’t on silent. The fake photo snap sound was SO LOUD, people.
And there’s definitely no phone line.
But he went straight to the old CRT TV with the tiny chair in the nook in the kids’ room.
I snapped this photo, but my phone wasn’t on silent. The fake photo snap sound was SO LOUD, people.
He’s gone.
The non-existent phone line wasn’t fixed.
Gonna get back to work.
The non-existent phone line wasn’t fixed.
Gonna get back to work.
Completely unrelated, this is probably just the wind, right?
I wish the wind was blowing...
I wish the wind was blowing...
A bunch of you are pointing this out. I don’t quite know what you’re talking about, but I’m suitably concerned. Thanks.
(I’m here for two more nights)
(I’m here for two more nights)
No. I just wanted to listen to something while I was driving to a cafe, but thanks for your input, Siri.
A number of you have expressed concern about me being alone in this cabin (thanks for that).
Good news! I’m not alone anymore...
Good news! I’m not alone anymore...
I’m genuinely surprised it took this long. Maybe the murder cabin was just waiting until this one had grown to approximately the size of my face?
Here’s a thing,
It’s the stillest night tonight since I’ve been here. But I can definitely hear the wind chimes again.
I went out onto the porch... and I couldn’t hear them anymore.
Came back in and I heard them again.
And I think I know where they’re coming from...
It’s the stillest night tonight since I’ve been here. But I can definitely hear the wind chimes again.
I went out onto the porch... and I couldn’t hear them anymore.
Came back in and I heard them again.
And I think I know where they’re coming from...
There’s no point. I haven’t heard the chimes during the day.
Gonna write a few more pages of this film and then go take a look.
Gonna write a few more pages of this film and then go take a look.
Nah. Not gonna happen.
1) I’m Australian. We don’t do guns.
2) I copped a bad tackle playing football (soccer) about a month ago. Ligament damage. Still limping. Going down stairs to investigate mysterious chimes with a limp and a weapon sounds crazy.
Better to go defenceless.
1) I’m Australian. We don’t do guns.
2) I copped a bad tackle playing football (soccer) about a month ago. Ligament damage. Still limping. Going down stairs to investigate mysterious chimes with a limp and a weapon sounds crazy.
Better to go defenceless.
Sigh.
Sound on.
I’m starting to dislike this place...
Sound on.
I’m starting to dislike this place...
Chimes have started under the floorboards again.
I’m going to investigate.
Little bit nervous...
I’m going to investigate.
Little bit nervous...
$&@#!!!!’n
I WENT OUT. I HEARD THE CHIMES. BUT I SAW SOMETHING ELSE AND
I DON’T KNOW! BUT I DEFINITELY SAW IT WHEN I WAS OUT THERE, AND IT MADE A NOISE!
ALSO, WHY DID I CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND ME??
ALSO, WHY DID I CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND ME??
Tomorrow night is my last night in what Airbnb describe as a ‘Cosy and relaxing log cabin’.
I’ve decided I’m opening the package then.
Good night.
I’ve decided I’m opening the package then.
Good night.
I imagine this won’t surprise anyone, but there’s a storm on its way...
All of these books were on the same shelf in the cabin. See if you notice one that stands out.
I hadn’t thought to check.
Nope. No bookmarks. But you’ll be happy (?) to hear several pages are dog-eared. I AM NOT CHECKING THOSE PAGES.
Nope. No bookmarks. But you’ll be happy (?) to hear several pages are dog-eared. I AM NOT CHECKING THOSE PAGES.
This has been staring me in the face the whole time. There’s this piece of art on the wall here, and I think it’s the huge tree behind the house. But I’ve only just noticed what’s beneath it. Am I overthinking this, or is that a ghost cabin?
Probably just my eyes playing tricks on me, but does anyone else kind of see a girl wearing a dress lying on the the tree branch and facing away from us?
Oh, damn. Yeah. I see her. Poking her head out.
Also, how is my battery at 1% again?
Be right back. I’ll go get the charger from the car.
Need my battery charged for when I open the package later.
Also, how is my battery at 1% again?
Be right back. I’ll go get the charger from the car.
Need my battery charged for when I open the package later.
Came back from the car and there was the sound of... wind (?) coming from the cupboard in my bedroom. Not sure if you can hear it in the video or not.
But I’m pretty sure the cabin knows it’s my last night and is now screwing with me. The sound just stops at the end.
But I’m pretty sure the cabin knows it’s my last night and is now screwing with me. The sound just stops at the end.
Super comforting. Thanks.
By the way, that is the THIRD doorknob that’s fallen off in my hand in this place!
By the way, that is the THIRD doorknob that’s fallen off in my hand in this place!
The wind is going CRAZY outside. Lights have started flickering inside.
But I just want to point out that, despite the wind, the mystery wind chimes aren’t chiming and the swing isn’t swinging.
But I just want to point out that, despite the wind, the mystery wind chimes aren’t chiming and the swing isn’t swinging.
DAMN IT!
The cabin just lost power in the storm!!!
The cabin just lost power in the storm!!!
I went looking for matches or candles, and in the third drawer down, in the kitchen, I found the world’s most useless lantern.
Somehow, it’s intensely bright without actually illuminating anything!
Somehow, it’s intensely bright without actually illuminating anything!
DAMN IT!!!
Okay. I guess I’m doing this...
IT NEEDS TO LEARN!!
YOU WANT TO COME AT ME, MURDER CABIN! WITH YOUR STUPID LOOSE DOORKNOBS, AND YOUR DAMN WIND CHIMES!!
I REJECT YOU, SWING. I REJECT YOU, FUZZY ADORABLE GHOST BEAR!!
RAAAAARGHH!!!
I’m alive.
Thought you all should know.
Sorry to leave you hanging.
Thought you all should know.
Sorry to leave you hanging.
I worked out there was no point fighting it.
There was no reason to keep them apart.
I let the bear watch TV overnight...
There was no reason to keep them apart.
I let the bear watch TV overnight...
And, in the early morning, I left them together...