sope as roommates and yoongi so hopelessly and quietly in love with hoseok and every time they cuddle or hold hands or hoseok kisses his forehead he has to remind himself it's just platonic whereas hoseok thinks they've been dating for 6 months and just taking it slow

yoongi lamenting to his friends how much he loves hoseok and how much it hurts every time they cuddle because yoongi just wants to turn around and kiss him. hoseok yelling to his friends about how cute his little boyfriend is and how much he wants to kiss his pouty lips.

hoseok never brings it up because he doesn't want yoongi to be uncomfortable, he respects his wants and doesn't want to pressure him. is perfectly happy with how they are. meanwhile yoongi is daydreaming about hoseok fucking him on their kitchen table and trying not to be obvious

Yoongi gets home from work a little late, toeing off his shoes and just dropping his coat onto the floor. He can hang it up later, he's too tired for now.

"Yoongi!" Hoseok calls, and Yoongi enters the living room to find Hoseok sprawled out on the sofa. "I missed youuuuu."

Hoseok makes grabby hands at him, and Yoongi goes to him, falling into him as he always does. Hoseok wraps his arms around Yoongi's body, pulling him close, burying his nose into Yoongi's hair and sighing in satisfaction.

"Missed you too." Yoongi admits, heart stuttering.

"I've been home alone all day." Hoseok's words are muffled into Yoongi's hair. "It's so cold today."

"Why didn't you turn the heater on?"

Hoseok laughs, his body shaking Yoongi's too. "I wanted your cuddles to warm me up, stupid."

Yoongi's whole body flushes warm.

Hoseok always says things like this, so casually, Yoongi's heart is always seizing in his chest, his face flushing warm. He wants to shout at him, hit at him, scream until his voice is hoarse; but he bottles it all up, not willing to ruin anything they already have.

"I have to make dinner, Seok." Yoongi says, wiggling in his hold. It hurts, it hurts so much to have Hoseok right there wrapped around him so tightly but to not really have him, to never really have him.

Hoseok whines, tightening his grip. "Nooooo, let's stay here forever."

He loves that idea so much. "I'm tired, and I'm hungry. Do you want me to starve?"

"You can live on my love and affection~" Hoseok laughs again.

"Yah, let go of me, you giant leech." Yoongi scrambles away from Hoseok's hold, hiding his red face and aching heart.

-

Yoongi pulls himself out of their shared room, footsteps heavy, squinting into the brightness of their living room.

Hoseok is there, typing on his laptop at the kitchen table, but he looks up as Yoongi enters the room. His face lights up in a grin. "Good afternoon."

Yoongi responds with a grumble, shuffling over towards the coffee machine.

Hoseok laughs loudly, making Yoongi flinch. "Yoongi, you look so cute with your bedhead."

Yoongi is not in the right state to deal with this right now, already feeling a blush settle in his face.

Yoongi turns away, using the coffee machine as an excuse to not meet Hoseok's gaze.

"How hungover are you?"

Yoongi grunts a response. Hoseok sniggers.

"Do you remember anything from last night?" Yoongi starts the machine, taking a breath before turning back to his roommate.

"No. Why?" His voice is like gravel, and his throat hurts, and he cringes. Hoseok doesn't seem to mind, still grinning widely. He doesn't look a bit hungover at all. Did he even drink at all at the party?

"I had to carry you up the stairs. You said your legs weren't working."

Yoongi hums, non-committal. He really doesn't remember anything. "I didn't say anything embarrassing, did I?"

"Oh, no. You didn't say anything embarrassing." Hoseok is still grinning. "You were really cuddly though. A little koala bear, clinging to me all night."

Yoongi groans, turning back to the coffee machine. Hoseok giggles behind him.

"It was so cute! And when we got home you refused to let go of me. Wouldn't even let me change into my pyjamas."

Yoongi buries his face in his hands. He hears Hoseok move behind him.

Suddenly, warm arms are wrapping around him from behind, Hoseok pressing into his back and kissing the back of his head. "A cute little baby koala. My cute little baby."

And Yoongi's stomach swoops down to his feet, his whole body going rigid in Hoseok's hold.

Best friend. Roommate. Best friend. Nothing more.

He repeats it to himself like a mantra as he forces out a breath. "R-right. Sorry."

Hoseok presses another kiss to his head. A shiver runs down his spine. "I didn't mind. Though you made me sleep in my jeans."

Hoseok kisses all his friends. When he invites them over, Yoongi has seen Hoseok kiss his friend Taehyung's forehead. He's seen Hoseok cuddle with his other friend Jimin. This is just how Hoseok shows affection. This is his type of friendship.

It doesn't mean anything more.

Sure, they share a bed - but only because this apartment is the only one they can afford, and it only comes with the one room, and the double mattress was on sale when they bought it. Hoseok doesn't mind being the big spoon to Yoongi's little spoon. Because he's a good friend.

A great friend. The bestest friend Yoongi has ever had. It's why he fell in love with him. And it's why he can't ruin anything with him.

He couldn't bare to lose Hoseok.

So he forces out a smile, a little laugh, and pats at Hoseok's arms around his middle.

"You should have just kicked me out. I'd hate to sleep in jeans."

"I would never." Hoseok says, and his voice is oddly serious all of a sudden. Until he laughs again. "I didn't really mind. It was worth it to be the little spoon for once."

Huh. Something to remember.

"Anyway, get off, I need to pour this coffee. And get something to eat. And then maybe sleep another couple days."

Hoseok kisses his head again, squeezing him one last time before peeling himself away, and returning to his work on the table.

-

"I hate this. I hate him."

"No you don't."

"No, I don't."

Yoongi looks from from where he threw himself down into the mini sofa to meet Namjoon's gaze, the other watching him from his computer chair, looking entirely too amused at Yoongi's suffering.

"You should just tell him."

"I can't do that!"

Namjoon shrugs, twisting his chair back around to look back at his computer. "It's the only way to end your eternal suffering, Hyung. That, or move out."

"I can't do that either!"

Namjoon glances back at him. "So you're just planning to pine in silence forever?"

Yoongi shifts so he's now curled up on the sofa, instead of splayed awkwardly across it. "Yes." He sniffs indignantly. "It's worked so far."

"Has it? Has it really?"

No. Not at all.

"Look, Hyung, you know Hoseok. I know Hoseok. He's not just going to hate you if you tell him you're in love with him and he doesn't love you back. He's not going to drop you. He's better than that."

"I know." Yoongi sighs. "But it'll still be different. It'll be awkward."

"Like, if you told me right now that you're actually in love with me, I would be awkward. I wouldn't know how to act. I'd be second guessing everything. I'd feel guilty."

"Gee, thanks, Hyung."

"Shut up. You know what I mean."

Namjoon sighs. "Yeah, I guess."

Yoongi groans, turning onto his stomach, smushing his cheek into the leather cushion of the mini sofa. "I hate this. I hate him."

Namjoon ignores him.

Yoongi feels a lump in his throat. "I really love him, Joon-ah." He says quietly.

Namjoon looks over at the wobble in his voice. He minimises whatever he's working on, getting up and crossing the room. He climbs onto the sofa, pulling Yoongi to his chest, encasing him in his arms.

Even Namjoon cuddles him like this. Because he's also a good friend.

"It'll be okay, Hyung." Namjoon murmurs. "You'll be alright."

Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut. "I'm so fucking in love with him."

"I know, Hyung."

-

"I'm so fucking in love with him." Hoseok sighs dreamily, resting his head against Jimin's shoulder.

Jimin groans. "Can we hang out just once without you talking about Yoongi--"

"No." Taehyung grins at them from across the table. "That's asking the impossible, Jimin."

"He's right." Hoseok says. "I love talking about Yoongi."

"Gross." Jimin shoves him away, nose scrunched.

Hoseok laughs, just as the server brings them their drinks. "Two cappuccinos and one hot chocolate, with extra marshmallows." He winks at Taehyung as he slides the drink over to him.

"Thanks, Jungkook-ah. You always make the best coffee." Jimin hums, already stirring sugar in.

Jungkook blushes at the praise. "You're welcome. Let me know if you need anything else." His gaze lingers on Taehyung as he leaves. Hoseok waits until he's out of earshot to zero in on Taehyung.

"Why haven't you asked him out yet?"

Taehyung purses his lips, suddenly slouching in his seat. "I dunno, he might just like, flirt because I'm a customer... and he could get a tip... he might not even say yes..."

Jimin snorts. "You sound like Hoseok when he was going to ask Yoongi to move in with him."

Hoseok splutters. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Taehyung jumps on the distraction. "Hyung, we told you so many times he'd say yes. You never believed us."

"Have you two even kissed yet? Like, properly?" Despite complaining before, Jimin looks interested now.

Hoseok glowers. "I told you both, we're taking it slow. I don't want to pressure him. He seems happy the way things are. And if he's happy, I'm happy. I don't mind."

"Honestly, you two hardly even seem like you're dating." Jimin sips his coffee.

Hoseok glares at him.

"Jimin-ah, just because their relationship isn't what you expect, doesn't mean they're not dating." Taehyung chides. "I think they're cute."

"Yeah." Hoseok puffs out his chest. "We're cute."

"Does he even take you on dates?"

"Yes. He took me out for dinner the other night."

"See! They're cute." Taehyung leans back in his seat.

Jimin huffs. "I was just wondering. It's been, what, 5 months? 6? And you haven't kissed yet?"

"I kiss him. All the time."

"I mean a real kiss. On the lips."

"I don't care. If he doesn't want that, that's fine with me."

"I love him just the way he is. If he doesn't like to kiss, if he only wants cuddles, then that's what I'll give him."

Taehyung coos. Jimin's gaze has gone soft. "You're too good for this world, Hoseok."

Hoseok chokes on his drink. "Yah, Park Jimin. Be quiet."

"I don't think I could go that long without a good dick."

Hoseok chokes on his drink again. "Park Jimin! Be quiet!"

Taehyung is giggling so hard he nearly faceplants into the foam of his hot chocolate.

"You're a saint, Hoseok, truly."

Taehyung collects himself, suddenly looking at Hoseok with wide eyes. "What do you even do when you get hard around him?"

Hoseok's definitely blushing a deep red. He tries to hide behind his cup. "I, uh, I go to the bathroom."

"Oh no, you poor thing." Jimin says.

They're interrupted again by their server, who slides a small plate with a muffin in front of Taehyung. "One blueberry muffin, for you."

Taehyung looks up at Jungkook, surprised. "Oh, I didn't order--"

"I know. It's on the house."

Taehyung is left gaping as their server leaves. Jimin is the one to break the silence, a large grin breaking across his face.

"Oh my god, you have to ask him out right now."

Taehyung is now the one blushing crimson. "I--No, I can't--He--"

"Come on! It's nearly Valentines day! You have to!"

Hoseok's thoughts come to a halt. "It's nearly what now?"

Jimin turns to him, eyebrow raised. "It's nearly Valentines day. Which reminds me, do you have anything planned?"

Hoseok frowns.

"No. I don't."

Taehyung, once again, jumps on the distraction. "You're the one with an actual boyfriend and you haven't planned to do anything for Valentines?"

"I never thought about it!"

Jimin nods. "It'll be your first Valentines together. You have to make it special."

Hoseok slouches. "I thought you hated when I talk about Yoongi."

Jimin shrugs. "I changed my mind. We, as your best friends, obviously need to help you in your love life. You don't even have plans for Valentines day, Hyung. You need the help."

Taehyung nods sagely.

"Rose petals. Those are a must for Valentines day."

"And a stuffed bear. With a heart."

"And don't forget the Pepero."

Hoseok slouches further into his seat. "Yoongi does like cute things." He admits. "And Pepero."

Taehyung grins. "Perfect."

-

Yoongi comes home from his studio earlier than usual today. Seokjin had been in a particularly good mood, and had let Yoongi off early, pretty much pushing him out of the building and onto the street.

"Enjoy yourself today!" He'd said, waggling his eyebrows. Whatever that meant.

Despite returning early, he's still tired, having stayed up late last night marathoning shows on Netflix with Hoseok until they'd fallen asleep at almost 4am. He drops his backpack on the floor, shrugging off his coat and slipping off his shoes.

"Seok?" He calls. "I'm ho--"

There are rose petals all over the floor.

He blinks, rubbing his eyes, but they don't go away. He takes another step, feeling the soft crunch under his socked foot.

What the hell?

"Hoseok?" He calls again.

He rounds the corner of the entrance into the living room, and pauses at the edge of the room. Hoseok is hovering in the middle of the room, face flushed red, and in his hands is a soft pink teddy bear clutching a bright red heart.

"Welcome home!" He says cheerily.

Yoongi blinks. Takes in a deep breath.

That's right. Today is 14th February. It's Valentines day.

If Hoseok has the apartment decorated like this--if he has a Valentines bear in his hands--that must mean--

Hoseok is celebrating Valentines day with someone.

Yoongi's chest tightens. He forces a smile. It feel brittle. "Oh." He says. "What's this?"

Hoseok is still smiling. "It's for Valentines day. Do you like it?"

Hoseok wants his approval. Wants his approval as his best friend for the Valentines gift he's done for someone else.

"It's... sweet." The petals leave the heady scent of roses in the air. It makes Yoongi feel sick. "Who's the lucky guy?"

Hoseok's grin turns sly. "Oh, I think you know him. He's small, and cute, and has the prettiest smile."

Yoongi knows him? It feels like a physical blow.

"Oh?" Yoongi says, trying not to sound strangled. "I think he'll love it."

I know I would.

Hoseok's smile widens. He spins on his heel, picking something up from the sofa, and offers it to Yoongi.

"A little birdie told me his favourite Pepero was mint flavoured."

Yoongi stares at the box of chocolate mint Pepero. This asshole even has to steal his Pepero too?

Hoseok shakes the box, gesturing for Yoongi to grab it. Yoongi takes it gingerly. Probably a spare box.

He forces another smile. "Thanks, Seok."

Holy fuck, he's going to cry. "Look, I've got to go. I--I left my phone in the studio, and I--I can stay at Seokjin-Hyung's place tonight. You can have the place to yourself."

Hoseok's face falls. "You want to leave?"

Yoongi blinks. "Of course I do. I shouldn't be here."

Hoseok's boyfriend shouldn't have to deal with him. He shouldn't intrude on Hoseok's romantic evening. Hoseok looks like he worked so hard on it--Yoongi would hate to ruin the atmosphere.

"Oh." Hoseok breathes. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"I wanted to try to do something nice, but if you don't like it, that's fine--"

Of course he doesn't like it. He hates it. Hates that Hoseok is doing this for someone else. Hates that he has to stand here and give his opinion for some other guy--

"You can go. I'm sorry."

Yoongi's eyes burn and he quickly turns around, marching to the door without another word. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts to walk away, to leave Hoseok here to wait for someone else, surrounded by romantic flower petals and cute teddy bears and his favourite goddamn Pepero.

The fucking Pepero. He's still clutching the box to his chest.

He stops walking. He turns back around to face Hoseok, and now the tears are streaming down his face, blurring his vision.

He can't do this.

"I'm in love with you."

"I'm so fucking in love with you, Jung Hoseok. I love you, I love these petals, I love that bear, I love this Pepero. This stupid fucking Pepero."

Hoseok's eyes are wide, and his mouth is curled into a confused frown.

"I love you and I'm selfish. I'm so selfish."

"No, Yoongi, you're not selfish. Why are you crying?" Hoseok is suddenly right in front of him, crushing him to his chest, arms wrapped securely around Yoongi. The box of Pepero is crushed between their chests. "Don't cry, baby, please don't cry. Please. It's okay."

"No, I am." Yoongi sobs, burying his face into Hoseok's shirt, breathing in his scent. "I'm selfish because I'm telling you I'm in love with you when I shouldn't, when I should just keep my mouth shut, because you look so happy but I can't take it anymore, I can't."

Hoseok makes a sound of confusion deep in his chest, his arms tightening around Yoongi, burying his face into Yoongi's hair.

"It's alright, baby. It's okay. You're okay. I'm here. Shhhh, I'm here. You're not doing anything wrong, Yoongi. You're not selfish. It's okay."

Yoongi hiccups, trying to reign himself in, trying desperately to find his self control again. "I'm sorry, Seokie, I'm ruining--I'm ruining your night. I'm sorry. I'm being so shit right now--"

"You stop that right now, Min Yoongi. You are not ruining anything."

Hoseok pulls Yoongi away from his embrace, the box of Pepero falling to the floor, forgotten. Hoseok holds Yoongi's face with both hands, angling his head up so he's forced to look Hoseok directly in his eyes.

"You are the most important person in my life, Min Yoongi."

"If you're upset, then I will drop everything to make sure you're okay. That's all I care about. I don't care what's going on. Your happiness will always be more important."

Yoongi's lips tremble. Hoseok's hands are so warm as they cup his face, thumbs wiping his tears.

Hoseok looks frantic as his eyes flicker between Yoongi's own. Yoongi can barely breathe.

"I'm sorry I love you."

Hoseok's brows furrow together. He leans forward, pressing their foreheads together. Yoongi's eyes flutter closed.

"Why are you sorry about that? Are you scared?"

Yoongi's breath hitches. "Yes."

"Is that why you haven't done anything with me? You've been too scared?"

Yoongi breathes in deeply, heavily. "Yeah." He whispers.

He feels Hoseok's grip falter slightly on his cheeks. "Have you been scared of me?"

Yoongi can feel Hoseok's breath on his lips. It smells like mint Pepero. "Yes."

Of losing you. Of letting you go.

Hoseok lets out a shaky breath. "Yoongi..." His voice trembles. He let's go of Yoongi's face, taking a step back. Yoongi opens his eyes.

"I'm sorry if I've ever given you a reason to be scared, Yoongi. That's... if there's anything I can do better, if there's anything you need me to do differently--please tell me. I hate knowing that you've been afraid to talk to me. I only want the best for you. For us."

Hoseok's eyes are bloodshot. He looks like he's in pain. Yoongi did this. He's hurting Hoseok now, pulling him down like this, right when he was supposed to have a nice romantic evening with his boyfriend--Yoongi feels horrible.

"It's not you, Seok. It's me. Just me."

Yoongi can't bear to look at him anymore. He lowers his gaze to the ground. Stares at the crushed box of mint chocolate Pepero on the floor.

"I've wanted to tell you for so long." Yoongi murmurs. "I've been a coward. And telling you now... I really am selfish."

"You set all of this up to celebrate Valentines day and I just come in here and ruin it with my confession--"

"Ruin it? Yoongi, you haven't ruined anything, what are you talking about? You telling me you love me is--it's the best thing that could have happened tonight."

Yoongi jerks his head up, staring at Hoseok with wide eyes. "What?"

"I just never knew you were so afraid to say anything to me. I've been taking things slow for you, making sure you were comfortable--"

"No, Hoseok, wait, go back. What?"

Hoseok pauses. "What?"

"Me confessing to you was the best thing to happen?"

Hoseok frowns again. "Yes, of course it was. Yoongi, I've been waiting to hear you say that for so long now."

Yoongi snaps his gaping mouth closed. He blinks a few times.

"What."

Hoseok nods slowly. "Yoongi, I've probably been in love with you ever since our first date."

Yoongi's thoughts crash to a halt. He takes a moment to swallow. Breathes in, then out again, slowly. "You... you've been in love with me. Since. Since what now?"

"Since our first date. You took me ice skating. We held hands because I couldn't skate in a straight line. We shared ice cream afterwards."

"Our first... date."

Hoseok is starting to look confused. "Yes? You don't remember?"

Yoongi does remember. But he remembers it very differently. It wasn't a date, he just wanted to spend a night at the ice rink, and Hoseok didn't know how to skate so he wanted to show him. They shared ice cream afterwards because the night was so hot, and the bowl was huge.

"I... remember." Yoongi says slowly. Hoseok looks wary.

"What's wrong?"

"That was... almost six months ago."

"Yes?"

"We've... been dating for six months."

"Yes."

Yoongi blinks. He blinks again. "Hoseok."

"What?"

"I had no idea."

Yoongi needs to sit down. He should sit down.

"You had no idea what? That I'm also in love with you?"

"No, well, yes." Yoongi moves over to the sofa. Hoseok follows him. There are more Pepero boxes on the sofa, and Yoongi pushes them to the floor to make room for them.

He sits down, tucking his feet underneath him. Hoseok settles in front of him, still looking exactly how Yoongi feels. Lost.

"You're in love with me." He says it quietly, as if speaking it himself will make it feel more real, but saying it too loud would ruin the illusion.

"And you're in love with me." Hoseok says in response. Yoongi looks back up to meet his eyes.

"Hoseok... I thought... I mean, I didn't know... six months?"

Hoseok's frown deepens. "Yes? Why, do you think it's less? More? It could be 7 months, if we count Seokjin's party."