I don’t think our primary problem is “public shaming”

I think our dominant culture-wide problem is that we have forgotten how to make good use of our healthy guilt.

We’ve become terrified of guilt - and bat it away like a toxin - when it is actually a transformative gift

Without guilt we can’t find humility. Without guilt we can’t find our way to redemption.

Mr. Rogers used ro sing a song with this lyric:

“Its great to be able to stop, when you’ve planned a thing that’s wrong, and be able to do something else instead and think this song: I can stop when I want to I can stop when I wish I can stop stop stop anytime...”

“And what a great feeling to feel like this! And know that the feeling is really mine!”

This is a song about healthy guilt.

“His marginalization from the Hollywood Jungle proved to be his redemption”

I also think that the inability to metabolize guilt in healthy ways, the inflated, defensive response rather then a response that allows humility to move through exacerbates the agitated response.

I mean: look at the people we’ve put in office. Profoundly guilt-impaired people. They represent us, set our public norms.

I’ve made errors in public spaces, and I’m sure I will do again.

I’ve unwittingly used ableist language, unthinkingly centered myself and whiteness, inadvertently hurt people’s feelings. Usually when its been brought to my attention I’ve been uncomfortable but grateful

And I’ve tried to demonstrate appreciation for the information, the call to wake up, and to implement what Ive learned going forward.

It hurts sometimes. Guilt is painful. But it is “stop” sign like Mr. Rogers said.

And no, we aren’t always forgiven or forgivable by those we’ve harmed however unintentionally.

They need their own process for healing. Our job is not to interfere with that, and aid that if we are permitted.

I think “shaming culture” is an extreme compensatory response to the fact that we live in a culture that has no idea how to utilize guilt. We only experience it as annihilation- and then reflexively fight for our lives.

I mean, no one wants to don a hair shirt.

But what if the hair shirt transforms your life into something powerful and meaningful?

I mean, growth doesnt often feel like getting what you want and achieving your consciously chosen goals.

Often, growth feels like being broken down and humbled and brought low and back to the ground when we have become inflated and damaging.

Healthy guilt is an opportunity for painful growth.

And that seems to be a lost notion

Ah, this is getting more response than I expected as I just think outloud. Contemplate or reject these ideas as you wish. No thought is a complete one.

I’m going to mute notifications now. Blessings.

Adding one more qualifying thought: of course I think public shaming has a destructive aspect, and is sometimes an opportunity for people to cast away their own guilts onto a selected scapegoat -

but I think it is mostly an explicit symptom of some more unconscious imbalance.

Fevers can kill you, but they arent the underlying problem.

There is something in the shadows that drives the frenzy and it might have to do with our general failure to contend with guilt.