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No. Women can& #39;t just leave violent men.
Women can& #39;t just leave, because so many of these men are not only violent but also extremely controlling.
Most abusers are fully capable of controlling their behaviour, and are especially careful to treat her well at the start of the relationship.
The abuser will convince not only her but also her friends and family, that he is a nice guy willing to support and protect her. He will abuse her later.
People mistakenly believe, that if she& #39;s a victim of abuse, they will now see her with bruises or a black eye. But most abuse starts with psychological abuse.
He will slowly break down her confidence, because he needs her to be totally dependent on him. The ultimate act of control.
This is not because she is weak, but because he is extremely controlling. If you& #39;re told constantly, that you& #39;re not worth anything, you will end up believing it.
Now the psychological violence can be replaced by physical violence. It often is. Imagine living with the knowledge, that you may be violently attacked at any moment. There is no reason for it.
Many women will find the courage to leave only to return to him after a while. Some of the reasons can be because she believed him, when he said no other man would want her or that he has changed.
It can however, also be because he has threatened her and the children. Leaving is extremely complicated when kids are involved. She cannot cut off the abusers access completely.
Most abusers are experts at manipulating even the courts, where they will call friends and family as witnesses to tell what a nice guy he is. They, of course, haven& #39;t seen the other side of him.
Since many court don& #39;t call DV experts, the vast knowledge we actually have available is rarely applied to these cases. Contrary to popular belief, she will often lose the case.
He will then, most likely, also end up with shared custody, because of the court& #39;s failure to protect children from abusive men. Because even professional judges mistakenly believe they understand the issue.
For some women, it won& #39;t end there. He will keep stalking her and ruining her life in every way possible, until he finally takes it.
Not all women have a support system. Not all women can find a place at the shelter. Not all women have families with the means to help them or the willingness to do so. Not all.
We make it incredibly painful or downright impossible to report sexual assault or domestic violence, when women are routinely disbelieved. When all we say is;
Why didn& #39;t she just leave?
Why didn& #39;t she just leave?
