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i walked into the vegan punk bar and my therapist was there on a date with a person that i'm also going on dates with and it's the funniest thing that has ever happened to me.
when they left i texted my date/friend to ask if it was a date and they said:
"yeahhhhhh"
<long pause>
"whoops, not a date anymore!"
i ruined their date by existing whoops lolololol.
"yeahhhhhh"
<long pause>
"whoops, not a date anymore!"
i ruined their date by existing whoops lolololol.
texted my therapist "sorry for ruining your date by dating your date!" and he didn't respond, can't wait for my next appt.
Update: my roommate, independently from me, knows both my therapist and my friend-date. Literally how.
Just to clarify..... I already check with all of my new friends and new dates to see if they know my therapist, because the Portland queer/trans/vegan/punk scene is only so big! So lots of my friends are also friends of friends with my therapist. This was only a matter of time 
"Hello Molly! You didn't ruin my date, it's a small community and these things happen. Looking forward to talking about it more on Wednesday!"
someone murder me before my next therapist appt.
someone murder me before my next therapist appt.
For those playing along, I did, in fact, have therapy today 
Y’all there is SO MUCH going on right now: proud boys are attacking my friends; wild family stuff; job stuff; etc. And yet he made me spend a third of our session discussing this???
He just kept asking me how I felt about it and I kept insisting that it was EXTREMELY FUNNY and he kept digging more! Like I was secretly upset! But the truth is that it was JUST VERY FUNNY and also good tweet fodder 
Hello I just got home from a date with the person from this story and I have additional information and it is wild 
Friends! My power was out all day yesterday, but I have returned to tell you this story!
Please note that some of y'all may have inferred some of this back when it happened, but I'm a shy ace spectrum baby and I did not infer any of this!!!
Please note that some of y'all may have inferred some of this back when it happened, but I'm a shy ace spectrum baby and I did not infer any of this!!!
So to clarify something up front, when I saw my therapist (T) and my date-friend (who I'll call C), I knew T couldn't acknowledge me unless I acknowledge him because ~ethics~ so I said "hi, it's so funny how we ALL KNOW EACH OTHER!" and then scurried back to my seat.
What I now know is that, after that interaction:
- I couldn't tell if T and C were on a date or friends
- T assumed that C and I were just casual friends/acquaintances
- C assumed that T & I hated each other!!! because we had both acted so weird!!!
- I couldn't tell if T and C were on a date or friends
- T assumed that C and I were just casual friends/acquaintances
- C assumed that T & I hated each other!!! because we had both acted so weird!!!
Okay so T & C left, and my ace ass ASSUMED THE DATE WAS OVER. So I texted C and was like "hey, sorry but was that a date lol," but then I didn't check my phone for like an hour because I was out with a friend and was trying to not be rude! And i assumed it wasn't urgent!
Reader, it was urgent.
The date, of course, was not over. When I sent that text, C was at my therapist's HOUSE, MAKING OUT WITH MY THERAPIST.
So at some point, T H A N K G O D, T has to go let a dog out or something, and they stop making out long enough for C to check their phone, and that's when they see my "was this a date lol" text. And they say something like "yeahhhh, why?"
But I don't respond! Because I'm busy!
And so they continue to think that T and I are probably enemies!!!! And they go back to making out, but the thought is in the back of their mind, and finally they're basically like "no RLY, how do u know molly?"
And so they continue to think that T and I are probably enemies!!!! And they go back to making out, but the thought is in the back of their mind, and finally they're basically like "no RLY, how do u know molly?"
and of course T can't tell them because HE'S MY THERAPIST. so he's just like "why, are y'all good friends?" and I assume C was like "we date" ?? so then T was (extremely paraphrasing, i wasn't there) basically like OH NO OH NO okay you need to leave i'm so sorry oh no oh dang.
so when C was like "i'm glad i didn't fuck yr therapist" it wasn't like, abstractly, in the future. it was like, if u waited another 30 minutes to text i would have fucked your therapist!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! https://twitter.com/mollywoodstock/status/1097384550294908928
anyway have you ever made out with the same person that your therapist has also made out with, or possibly 2-3 people that your therapist has also made out with, asking for a friend
PS: C gave me permission to post all of this, big thanks to them for enabling me and thanks to you for following along.
In other news I might not go back to therapy lmao
Y’all I cancelled my sessions indefinitely
Circling back like 18 months later to add that that same therapist had also dated my roommate and nobody ever told me so all I have to say is...... lmao.
ps i still occasionally go on dates with that person even though we can't make out with the same people/each other anymore because covid is a curse. not gonna tag them but if they see this they can choose to reveal themselves lmao.
