i walked into the vegan punk bar and my therapist was there on a date with a person that i'm also going on dates with and it's the funniest thing that has ever happened to me.

when they left i texted my date/friend to ask if it was a date and they said:

"yeahhhhhh"
<long pause>
"whoops, not a date anymore!"

i ruined their date by existing whoops lolololol.

texted my therapist "sorry for ruining your date by dating your date!" and he didn't respond, can't wait for my next appt.

Update: my roommate, independently from me, knows both my therapist and my friend-date. Literally how.

Just to clarify..... I already check with all of my new friends and new dates to see if they know my therapist, because the Portland queer/trans/vegan/punk scene is only so big! So lots of my friends are also friends of friends with my therapist. This was only a matter of time

"Hello Molly! You didn't ruin my date, it's a small community and these things happen. Looking forward to talking about it more on Wednesday!"

someone murder me before my next therapist appt.

For those playing along, I did, in fact, have therapy today

Y’all there is SO MUCH going on right now: proud boys are attacking my friends; wild family stuff; job stuff; etc. And yet he made me spend a third of our session discussing this???

He just kept asking me how I felt about it and I kept insisting that it was EXTREMELY FUNNY and he kept digging more! Like I was secretly upset! But the truth is that it was JUST VERY FUNNY and also good tweet fodder

Hello I just got home from a date with the person from this story and I have additional information and it is wild

Friends! My power was out all day yesterday, but I have returned to tell you this story!

Please note that some of y'all may have inferred some of this back when it happened, but I'm a shy ace spectrum baby and I did not infer any of this!!!

So to clarify something up front, when I saw my therapist (T) and my date-friend (who I'll call C), I knew T couldn't acknowledge me unless I acknowledge him because ~ethics~ so I said "hi, it's so funny how we ALL KNOW EACH OTHER!" and then scurried back to my seat.

What I now know is that, after that interaction:

- I couldn't tell if T and C were on a date or friends
- T assumed that C and I were just casual friends/acquaintances
- C assumed that T & I hated each other!!! because we had both acted so weird!!!

Okay so T & C left, and my ace ass ASSUMED THE DATE WAS OVER. So I texted C and was like "hey, sorry but was that a date lol," but then I didn't check my phone for like an hour because I was out with a friend and was trying to not be rude! And i assumed it wasn't urgent!

Reader, it was urgent.

The date, of course, was not over. When I sent that text, C was at my therapist's HOUSE, MAKING OUT WITH MY THERAPIST.

So at some point, T H A N K G O D, T has to go let a dog out or something, and they stop making out long enough for C to check their phone, and that's when they see my "was this a date lol" text. And they say something like "yeahhhh, why?"

But I don't respond! Because I'm busy!

And so they continue to think that T and I are probably enemies!!!! And they go back to making out, but the thought is in the back of their mind, and finally they're basically like "no RLY, how do u know molly?"

and of course T can't tell them because HE'S MY THERAPIST. so he's just like "why, are y'all good friends?" and I assume C was like "we date" ?? so then T was (extremely paraphrasing, i wasn't there) basically like OH NO OH NO okay you need to leave i'm so sorry oh no oh dang.

so when C was like "i'm glad i didn't fuck yr therapist" it wasn't like, abstractly, in the future. it was like, if u waited another 30 minutes to text i would have fucked your therapist!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! https://twitter.com/mollywoodstock/status/1097384550294908928

anyway have you ever made out with the same person that your therapist has also made out with, or possibly 2-3 people that your therapist has also made out with, asking for a friend

PS: C gave me permission to post all of this, big thanks to them for enabling me and thanks to you for following along.

In other news I might not go back to therapy lmao

Y’all I cancelled my sessions indefinitely

Circling back like 18 months later to add that that same therapist had also dated my roommate and nobody ever told me so all I have to say is...... lmao.

ps i still occasionally go on dates with that person even though we can't make out with the same people/each other anymore because covid is a curse. not gonna tag them but if they see this they can choose to reveal themselves lmao.