It crossed my mind yesterday that your fave is highkey a sadist when I saw a tweet that said "couldn't God have punched Adam and Eve alone instead of dragging us all into it" then all the receipts started coming...

1. Eve ate the apple alone and the entire female race was given labour pains and cramps.

2. Job has nothing but undying love for your fave, fave kills all his children, crops, houses, even the animals fam! For banter!

3. Some people are sinning on the earth...solution? Drown EVERYBODY and their spawn expect my mans Noah and his family and some animal representatives! Mate, just think of all the innocent flamingos that drowned because some dudes they didn't even know were sinning

And then he goes "my bad my bad... I'll never kill everybody all at once again....with water..."

4. God: Yo Abe...
Abraham: Sup G...
God: Do you love me love me??
Abraham: You know I do!
God: Prove it.
A: How?
G: Take your son out.
Abraham:
God: Dude, some time this year!
*Abraham attempts to kill his only son for God*
God: Loooooool dude! I was just kidding!
Abraham:

God:

5. God: maaaan...Sodom & Gomorrah are testing me!
Abraham: it really be like that sometimes hey...
G: nah, this ain't it! I'm taking them all out!
A: you can't do that!
G: aight tell you what...if you can find 10 righteous men in there...I won't burn it down.
Abraham:
God:

6. The Israelites: Yo, at least back in Egypt we had some bread and juice yo!
God: Ungrateful mutts!! I will smite you all!!
Moses: Ayyy G, they didn't mean it like that my G!
God:
Moses: Forgive them G...
God: Fine...I won't smite them. I'll just make the trip 40 years longer!

7: Numbers 16:
Korah and his crew: Moses and Aaron ain't shit!!
God: You talking about my gang gang?!
Korah:
God: *takes out entire crew*
Israelites: Yo...that hit was messed up tho!
God: Oh you siding with them cats?! Bet!
Israelites: Nah, what we was trying to say is-
God:

8. Do you remember when God stopped the sun from setting coz his boy Joshua needed more time to slay (literally)?! Imagine waiting for an important meeting in the morning but the sun isn't setting coz Joshua is still stabbing some dudes

9. Elisha...a grown man...is taking stroll then BAM!!!! 42 kids see him and call him - get this - BALD!!
Elisha: *puts a curse on the kids*
God: Nah...that's not enough. Imma show them little kids!!
Kids: Whoa whoa whoa Mr God we was just joki-
God: Ay yo Bears-

10. Some priests have an ark made to see if its God who killed the Philistine people by putting hemorrhoids in their secret parts (I cannot make this stuff up y'all )
They find out that the curse was indeed from God and all's good coz now they can make it up to God right?

Everything was going okay until:

Dude Bro: Ay hollup hollup lemme peep this merch for a second.

God: Did he just look into MY ARK that I had y'all make coz I was killing y'all already?! That's it! Imma kill 50,070 of you for looking inside a box!! That'll teach ya!!

You wanna know what the greatest one of all is?? The fact that he is all knowing and he knew that Adam and Eve would eat the apple, he'd drown the whole world and burn down cities and cause hurricanes and earthquakes but he STILL went ahead and made us so he can "save us". Lol.

If you wanna read more, there's a lovely blog you can visit that lists over 150 of your faves' or fave inspired killings. Happy reading:
https://dwindlinginunbelief.blogspot.com/2010/04/drunk-with-blood-gods-killings-in-bible.html?m=1
Love God or he'll burn you in hell fire, beloved

Adding more coz y'all reminded me.

God: Leave Sodom and Gomorrah!
Lot: Sure G, on it!
God: Yeah. And don't look back at it!
Lot's Wife: *looks back at Sodom*
God: