Whoa boy do I have a STORY for y’all bout how I traveled and got catfished https://twitter.com/kadeejra/status/1085672523356762112

ALRIGHT YOU MFS SO HERES WHAT HAPPENED... JUDGE ME IDC

1. So before my Instagram got disabled a lot of girls used to DM me but I don’t never responded because y’all know people are never who they appear to be on the internet..

2. Until one day God decided he wanted to make my life an episode of insecure and sent the devil herself into my direct messages.

3. We start talking and I know how y’all always gassing females but man listen... when I tell you this girl was BAD.. I’m talking like if she fucked your barber before y’all started talking you would still let him edge you up type of bad..

4. We talked on the phone but I made the mistake of never FaceTiming her I mean She gave me her snap and I watched her snaps all the time as she watched mine and then we would talk about what we posted so honestly I never saw a red flag that she wasn’t who she said she was

5. After 3 weeks she invites me to her family cookout so I can see her... I was nervous I won’t lie.. because again she was BAD like Megan Good in Stomp The Yard Bad... I was gonna say no but hell will freeze over before I EVER say no to free food.

So I pull up and I see the family everyone really nice greeting me and shit

7. Then boom I see her and man listen... she was BAD AS THEY COME AND she thought I was funny AND she watch anime... I was ready to propose right there

8. So I walk up on her and say hey
“fat fat” little pet name I had for her and touch her hand and she pull away from me quick as fuck

9. Then my homeboy Willie WHO I DID NOT KNOW WAS GONNA BE THERE walk up behind her like and says

“yo wassup bro? I ain’t know you was gonna be here?! You met my girl”

10. YOUR GIRL?

11. So she still snapping about me touching her like she ain’t been texting me for the past couple weeks.. so me her and my homeboy going back and forth arguing about the situation and I’m ready to pull out the God damm receipts until I feel a tap on my shoulder

12. It’s her damm mom so I’m like excuse me I’m not trying to disrespect your place but I’m about 10 seconds away from calling your daughter a hoe

13. She calls me by my name like she know me and she like
“can we go somewhere and talk?” So I’m thinking okay her mama gonna try and calm me down and shit so we walk away from everyone and sit down on a bench I already know her ass about to start preaching

14. Let me tell y’all WORD FOR WORD what came out of her moms mouth.. HER MOM MIND YOU..

15. “Im the one you have been messaging, I used my daughters pictures and gave you her snap so you would think that you were talking to her... I really like you but I thought you wouldn’t like me if you saw how I really looked and wouldn’t get to know me for what’s on the inside”

16. ...

17. Come again?

18. I said BITCH I ALREADY KNOW WHO YOU ARE ON THE INSIDE YOU A GOD DAMM LIAR ON THE INSIDE

19. I was loud as fuck and everyone was looking but I ain’t give a damm she tried to shh me I said BITCH YOU SHHHHHHH!!!

20. I walked RIGHT OUT THAT SHIT!!! AINT SAY NOTHING TO THE FAMILY ASKING WHY I WAS CUSSING OUT THE MOM AINT SAY NOTHING TO THE GIRL!! NOT MY HOMEBOY JUST WALKED RIGHT OUT!!!!

...after I got me a Togo Box.

21. My homeboy told the whole group chat.

22. if I didn’t connect with her the way I did I MIGHT not have been that mad... listen I LOVE big women.. big women LOVE to cook & I LOVE to eat so we made for each other but when I tell yall she was literally 56 years old & 300lbs you to old & TO DAMM BIG for that lying shit.

23. And all that FREAKY shit she was texting me???? HELL NO BRO talking bout pick me up and fuck me...

24. I ain’t worked out since highschool you think I’m about to get a workout in today??? Trying to turn my bedroom into planet fitness foh

25. SHE HAD THE NERVE TO TEXT ME WHEN I LEFT GUESS WHAT THIS LADY SAID?!?!?

26. “You still mad? ”

27. I’m going to bed.

https://twitter.com/theedreadgod/status/1178971532980305920?s=21