#dndadventures

Incorrect Murder Mystery Party Quotes: a thread

Perry, drunk: Avi, there's something I wanna get off my chest
Avianna: is it your shirt? please say no

(Psych)

Mona: for two weeks, I have done the best I could to protect you. have I been perfect? no. do I know anything about kids? no! should I have picked up a book on corralling a group of murder-happy adventurers? PROBABLY! ... where was I going with this, I had a point

(big hero 6)

Mona: I... I think we did something right. I have a weird feeling inside. is this accomplishment???

Perry: ugh, I feel it too! quick, let’s go rub it in Avi's face

(httyd: series)

Avianna: look, Perry... I wanna apologize for everything I said. for what it's worth, I really like having you around.

Perry: no you don't

Avianna: I know. I have dreams where I staple your fingers to your face.

(Scrubs)

Perry: what I hear when I’m getting yelled at is people caring loudly at me

(parks and rec)

Rylan: I mean sure I have my bad days, but then I remember what a cute smile I have :)

(friends)

Joren: You need to react when people cry
Mona: I did. I rolled my eyes.

(2 broke girls)

Mona: I have an idea
Avianna: Mona, your last idea was to murder

(community)

(Mona, grumbling: it was an ACCIDENT)

Mona: Rylan, tell Laefram where he can stick his grapes
Rylan: in the cellar!
Mona: n o, Rylan

(the office)

Rylan: I made this friendship bracelet for you!
Mona: you know, I’m not really a jewelry person
Rylan: you don’t have to wear it--
Mona: no, I’m gonna wear it forever, back off

(Bob's burgers)

Perry [about Laefram]: that man is trying to undress me with his eyes, Mona
Mona: maybe he's dressing you, did you ever think of that?

(psych)

Avianna: I'm going to ask you to be respectful--
Perry: I'm going to politely decline.

(Psych)

Perry: not to worry, I have a permit
Avianna: this just says “I can do what I want"

(parks and rec)

Mona: not to overstate it, but I'm definitely going to die alone and work is all I have

(b99)

Mona: I've never been an inspiration before. I don't like this much responsibility.

(new girl)

Perry: did Mona said she'd fight with us?
Avianna: more or less
Perry: more "more" or more "less"?
Avianna: probably more less
Perry: she said no?
Avianna: she said no.

(justice league)

Rylan: that’s one of my biggest fears
Mona: what is
Rylan: if I ever, like, woke up as a piece of bacon...
Mona: you would eat yourself?
Rylan: I wouldn’t even question it

(community)

Mona: I, for one, didn’t WANT to start my day with a slaughter
Mona: which really just goes to show how much I’ve grown

(buffy the vampire slayer)

Mona: wait a minute, you don’t go TOWARDS the weird scary sound!
Avianna: yeah we do. we always do.
Mona: I hate that about us

(httyd)

Perry: the thing is, I have something to tell you
Mona: you know you can say anything to me, Perry. We’ve known each other forever and there’s absolutely nothing that could dent our impenetrable bond
Perry: I have a secret boyfriend
Mona: you're dead to me

(psych)

Perry: so do you like being the little spoon or the big spoon?
Mona: I'm not a spoon. I'm a knife. and I'm going to stab you in the eyeball.

(grey's anatomy)

Mona: we all know I can be a bit--
Avianna: dismal
Joren: emotionally monochromatic
Perry: spicy!
Mona: whatever

(sanders sides)

Mona: you’ll be okay, marshmallow
Rylan: do you call me marshmallow because I'm soft and easily flattened?
Mona: well yeah, but if it makes you feel any better it's also because you're very white.

(scrubs)

Perry: remember when you dared me to lick the swing set?
Mona: no, I said "Perry, don't lick the swing set," and you said "don't tell me what to do, Mona"
Mona: and then you licked the swing set.

(icarly)

(after the goblin battle)

Perry: and again, Mona and Perry save the day!
Avianna: you didn't do anything, it was all Mona
Perry: we're a packaged deal, everyone knows that

(b99)

Perry: please, for me?
Mona: don't do that
Perry: do what?
Mona: you think that when you say "please, for me?" that I'll just do anything you want. well, not this time.
Perry: please? for me?
Mona:
Mona: okay.

(icarly)

yes I'm aware these are all the Merry brotp quotes but they're GOOD ok

Mona: this is crazy. I’m having feelings again. like some kind of 14-year-old kid or something. I mean, you remember feelings, right?
Joren: yeah, I have feelings every single day of my life
Mona: do you?
Joren: are you saying that you don't have feelings?

(iasip)

Joren, trying to reach something on a shelf: Perry, I need a boost
Perry: all right
Perry, clapping: go for it, you can do it, you're the best! whoo!

(the weekenders)

Mona: Laefram, I thought we had a mutual understanding that if you ever came back here I would be within my rights to kill you.

(murphy brown)

Perry: it's called surveillance. I surveillate things. I'm a purveyor of surveillerism.

(psych)

Perry: come on, let's hug it out!
Mona: I would rather fall in love with a vegan.

(psych)

Avianna: the odds of that happening coincidentally are vanishingly small
Joren: I would say infinitesimally
Perry: yes and I would say "teenily-weenily." we all know words.

(b99)

Perry: be myself? Joren, I have one day to win over Laefram. how long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Rylan, shrugging: couple weeks?
Mona: six months
Avianna: jury's still out
Perry: see Joren? "be yourself"--what kind of garbage advice is THAT

(b99)

Perry: first time I got punched in the face, I was like, "oh no!"
Perry: but then I was like, "this is a story"

(community)

Doc: your friends are counting on you
Mona: well, that's their fault. I have carefully cultivated a persona that screams "you're on your own"

(community)

Mona: of course you should fight fire with fire. you should fight everything with fire.

(magic: the gathering)

Avianna: I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified.

(game grumps)

Mona: WE GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE! YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND, DUDE! YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT!
Mona: you gotta look inside yourself and say, "What am I willing to put up with today?"
Mona: NOT FUCKING THIS

(game grumps)

Joren: Perry and Avi are down, we need help!
Mona: we have Rhangul now
Joren: I meant REAL help!

(teen wolf)

Avi: so you lied to me?
Mona: that depends on how you define "lying"
Avi: well, I define it as not telling the truth. how do you define it?
Mona: reclining your body in a horizontal position

(teen wolf)

Laefram: don't ask why, but I need you to punch me in the face
Mona: punch you in the face?
Laefram: yes, punch me! in the face! didn't you hear me?
Mona: I always hear "punch me in the face" when you're talking, but it's usually subtext

(sherlock)

Avi: did you just refer to a dagger as a "people opener"?
Mona: ... should I not have?

(rooster teeth)

Avi: something has to be done, and I have a plan. we use mankind's greatest weapon--
Mona: a dagger?
Avi: --the written word
Mona: ugh, I'm out

(brooklyn nine nine)

Avi (about Roa): what’s a not gay way to ask her to go to the casino with me?

(parks and rec)

Perry: now remember, I do my best work when I'm being worshipped as a god

(johnny bravo)

Perry: love is a very complex emotion, Mona. you can be very close to someone one minute and the next minute, why, you just want to strangle them! do you understand?
Mona: I am familiar with the urge to strangle, yes

(the drowsy chaperone)

Adder: I won't forget this insolence
Perry: I probably will. it's nothing special.

(the dresden files)

Mona: why are you squeezing me with your body??
Joren: it's a hug, Mona! I'm hugging you!

(spn)

Mona (to Avi, about Roa): so are you gonna call her? or does she call you? how do girls decide who calls? is that what "top" means?

(unbreakable kimmy schmidt)

Perry: I never brag
Mona: you once called your face "proof of God's existence"

(desperate housewives)

Mona: my greatest weakness? occasionally, I give a damn

(jessica jones)

Boldrei: I'm gonna give you a shard
Mona: why??
Boldrei: because of all the good work you've done
Mona: I have the lowest success record of anyone here
Boldrei: it's not about numbers, Mona, it's about attitude!
Mona: I have the worst attitude of anyone here

(the office)

Joren: you know, hugs are MY drug of choice

(izombie)

Mona: in light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds
Joren: 45 SECONDS?????
Mona: no!! four to five seconds!!
Joren, hugging her: TOO LATE

(modern family)

Avi: I sort of did something and I need your advice, but I don't want a lot of judgement or criticism
Perry: and you came to me?

(modern family)

Joren: you are so smart! you could solve anything! *sobbing* WHY DON'T WE TALK MORE
Mona: uh oh. feelings.

(sanders sides)

Joren: roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow, tulips come in all sorts of colours, so do roses! I really like flowers. daffodils are also yellow--

(Thomas Sanders)

Perry: you know what your problem is, Avi? I’m too good looking

(that 70s show)

Perry: don’t underestimate us. our team’s motto is "maybe we’ll get lucky this time"

(the 100)

Mona: if I don’t kill somebody soon, I’m going to forget how.

(big trouble)

Avi: Perry if we get out of this I am going to KILL you!
Perry: so what's my incentive to live?

(psych)

Joren: do people ever hit you?
Perry: well, only when I'm talking

(doctor who)