Autogynephilia - A paraphilia that has come to connotate narcissistic rage, depression, shame, denial, a drive to spend fortunes and leave families in the pursuit of a mere fetish, and much more.

A question that many observers may have is, "why?" Why are these feelings so genuinely felt and powerful? Why are AGPs so ambitious in the chase for womanhood? Why do they seem to lie about their past? Why do they reject Blanchard's theory? Let's talk about it.

Autogynephilia is an unusual sexual orientation that involves an Erotic Target Identity Inversion on to a feminized version of oneself. Like other sexual orientations, AGP has multiple dimensions to it: A sexual side, which is well studied, but also an emotional/romantic side.

"Love of oneself as a woman" takes on a whole new meaning when you take the word "love" for what it is, LOVE. Just like how a straight man in love would do anything to protect his wife, to see her grow, to make her happy, a highly AGP male would do the same for their female self.

This also plays in to why many AGPs claim that their motivations to transition are not sexual, and that is because it's mostly true. The type of dysphoria that comes with severe AGP is emotional torment. It's as if you are so deeply in love with someone who is lightyears away,...

and mother nature herself decided to put up impassable barriers between you and her. Barriers like your voice, your natural presentation, or your face, for instance. You don't feel like a whole person, because you are far from embodying the person you desperately wish to be.

The desire to transition becomes all-consuming, much like the desire to deeply connect with someone you love, and to live your life with them.

Seeing as I have somewhat explained the emotional side of AGP, it should be fairly easy to explain narcissistic rage and denial now. A classic example of narcissistic rage would be the gamestop ma'am kicking over displays for being misgendered.

To her, the word "sir" stung as if the cashier had verbally harassed her "wife" and had invalidated the existence of the lover she was trying to embody. Her actions were very wrong and uncalled for, but I don't mean to pass judgement, I mean to help people understand why.

As for denial of AGP/Blanchardianism, I think it mostly has to do with two factors. the first being the conception that AGP is a mere sexual fetish and nothing more, like bondage or feet. This directly contradicts the lived experiences of AGPTS, for whom AGP is their sexuality.

The second reason being that the concept of autogynephilia is one that invalidates itself when explained. As Alice Dreger poetically put it, "Autogynephilia is a love that would rather you not speak its name." People deny it because being AGP means they have a male sexual issue.

Final note: At this point, I would like to take a vow. I will be honest, transparent, and respectful at all times when discussing my sexuality. I am not ashamed, I am not afraid, and I understand that it is ok to be AGP. I am #AGProud