Thread by @iam_siyafierce, My life became better and happier the day i slowed things down [...]

My life became better and happier the day i slowed things down to my own frequency.... A thread

In 2016, On my 32 birthday at the height of my hardships and turmoil my best friend said something in passing that struck a cord with me : YOU MUST ALWAYS PUT YOURSELF FIRST......

"YOU MUST ALWAYS PUT YOURSELF FIRST" this is the truth to personal happiness that finally clicked at my big age. I had been socialized towards the opposite view. I was miserable and just tired.

I had been socialized to put the cult (religion) i was raised in. My wife at the time. My parents feelings. My colleagues. Everyone. I was nice to everyone and accepted but i was miserable and tired. The word empty came up alot in my therapy sessions

I am nolonger in that cult (religion). Turns out im not even religious anyway. I never was. This makes ME happy

I am no longer married. We were just kids and somehow us dating "just went too far." this makes ME happy

I no longer care about trying to navigate the minefield that is my parents judgemental approval. Tgis was the hardest when they cut me off but i stuck at it. Today i nolonger have the anxiety and dread. This makes ME happy.

I learned the art of living well. For me....between 6am and 8:45am i do my own thing . I take my dog for a walk. I make coffee and drink it on the patio. I play music loud and be stupid. I make jungle oats on a pot. I read a book or a magazine. I do these things at my pace

.... I listen to TED talks about things that matter to me or i find interesting. This usually leads me to more research on the subjects and new knowledge which always makes me happy....

I enjoy being alone. Im a very big introvert but learned to stay open to people and connections. Ive met amazing people. Turns out im also a lovrly person to be around. The word refreshing is common. Im just being me and this makes me happy

I cook for myself and set the table even. Its the little respectful things i do just for me. I always wash my dishes. I always make my bed. I put away clothes, shoes and laundry immediately. When i get up to go to bed i live the lounge clean even at midnight. This makes me happy

I love people. I can also be stupid and fun and loud when the mood takes... I love to dance. Im actually quite a vibe. But once ive reached my socializong qouta im out. I now listen to myself and act in kind.

Now at 34 i know myself as well as i ever have. Sophinde ngixake ingane yabantu just because i havent resolved my own suppressed turmoil...

I now believe that being alone is just as important as being in the arms of another. Being happy is my responsibility. Being present in all the moments of my life is critical.

Whatever you are facing. i hope you have enough strength to leave. to get out. to go up for a breath. to seek help. to be still. once you survive once, you have gained vital muscle memory. whatever will still come, you are now equipped. GO FORTH

today im happy around people. i am genuine and fun and loving and caring. i am militant about the rights of black people. the rights of LGBTI identifying humans. the rights of women. "what you do to the least of these, you do to me"

i am an atheist.
i respect peoples rights to believe what they do and this too i fight for. but i am not embarrassed in a room full of believers to have conversation on why i hold my position. i listen well. i always research things people brought up.

In 2019 i want to work on having less anxiety about pre-made plans in advance. My friends understand and only invite me on the day. I want to do better and meet them halfway with this...

I now live "DELIBERATELY". I slow everything down to my own frequency. My pace. If its too fast or haste for me i peacefully can step aside now. I now know that not every situation and person will vibrate in tune. Its okay. My peace supersedes

me and my friends started using words we longed for growing up. We are mid-30s Zulu men who finish convos with very fully given "i love you boy" and mean it. even in company. we give each other full hugs. the gentleness is fully formed

Writing this and sharing has been more therapeutic then i imagined. a few people shared how they are doing similar things for themselves. its not lost to me that about half are men... dare i say "we gonna be aright"...

Music and Wine.... Ed Sheeran Listening Session

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