Read on Twitter
Watching Top Gun for the first time. @ryandroyd has told me to expect a very heterosexual experience. They also said "it certainly is a motion picture."
5 minutes into Top Gun: there are a lot of sweaty boys in airplanes and a lot of suspiciously bisexual lighting in the control room
Oh shit Maverick DOESNT PLAY BY THE BOOK
HE'S GOTTA TURN IN HIS BADGE AND HIS WEAPON
HE'S GOTTA TURN IN HIS BADGE AND HIS WEAPON
THEY SAID THE NAME OF THE MOVIE!!! THEY'RE GOING TO TOP GUN
How are they gonna get there?
Are they gonna take......... the highway?
How are they gonna get there?
Are they gonna take......... the highway?
Uh
I'm sorry
Is that VAL KILMER
IS VAL KILMER IN TOP GUN
I'm sorry
Is that VAL KILMER
IS VAL KILMER IN TOP GUN
The fuck fumes between Val Kilmer and Tom Cruise are suffocating, this is an EXTREMELY horny movie
Also: how many times do they say Top Gun in the movie Top Gun
Also: how many times do they say Top Gun in the movie Top Gun
Listen
I hope Charlie breaks Mavericks spine over her knee
But Goose is pure of heart and I will protect him with my life
I hope Charlie breaks Mavericks spine over her knee
But Goose is pure of heart and I will protect him with my life
Question
All the fighter pilots in Top Gun have different stickers on their helmets
Do. Do they have craft parties where they decorate their helmets. Are there slumber parties with stickers
All the fighter pilots in Top Gun have different stickers on their helmets
Do. Do they have craft parties where they decorate their helmets. Are there slumber parties with stickers
O K A Y
Our closed captioning got off-sync but this is still aN ACTUAL LINE IN TOP GUN
Over ten billion of you tweeted at me to say I wasn't prepared for the volleyball scene in top gun and I am here to tell you that you were RIGHT and I was NOT READY
They aren't even trying to sell the hetero romance in Top Gun. Most of the flirtation is about Tom Cruise needing a shower?? Are the straights okay
Top Gun: Glistening Boys In Vehicles
If you've noticed that the timestamps are off on this thread it's because I keep making @ryandroyd rewind this movie so I can watch scenes again because I cannot believe what I'm watching
The sex scene in Top Gun is an indictment of heterosexuality
[To hetero couple]
Which of you is the fighter pilot in the back of the plane and which of you is the fighter pilot in the front of the plane
Which of you is the fighter pilot in the back of the plane and which of you is the fighter pilot in the front of the plane
Watching Top Gun and there's a lot of impromptu group singing for a movie that is supposedly not about theater gays
Wait WHAT HAPPENED TO GOOSE
WHAT HAPPENED TO GOOSE WHY ISN'T GOOSE SWIMMING ON HIS OWN
WHAT HAPPENED TO GOOSE
IS TOP GUN QUEER TRAGEDY
N O O O O O O O
IS TOP GUN QUEER TRAGEDY
N O O O O O O O
I miss GOOSE you guys
...I hope Iceman can properly comfort Maverick in his hour of need
...I hope Iceman can properly comfort Maverick in his hour of need
"You gotta let him go," Top Gun Dad says to Underpants Maverick one minute after Goose dies
Glad we took a short break from electric guitar plane-chases to Do Some Tragedy
Wait is Val Kilmer gonna have a character arc
Is he gonna go from Iceman to... Niceman??
Is he gonna go from Iceman to... Niceman??
"C'mon Maverick, you're the Toppest Gun we've ever seen at airplane school. You've gotta come back and keep on being the Top Gun"
I've been watching Top Gun got two hours (with FREQUENT pauses and rewinds) and no one has turned into a plane yet. When are we getting to that part
Now we know why Mavericks dad died which I guess is part of the plot of this movie
Top Gun 2: We All Have Pretty Severe Hearing Loss Because Planes Are Loud
That wasn't a joke, planes are really loud and I'm worried about these boys' hearing. Ear protection is important
Iceman is the Top Gun! He got the Top Gun trophy! He is in charge of the sky now, he makes airplane laws
There's
There's 20 minutes left in this movie
There's
There's 20 minutes left in this movie
Okay so everyone is... doing... war? With Russians? What temperature is this war
Everyone in Top Gun is sweating like a glass of lemonade, the glistening is out of control
I'm not at all clear as to why the airplanes in Top Gun keep fighting but if this is the price of sweaty topless beach volleyball I suppose I'm willing to pay it
Ten minutes left in Top Gun and I'm worried that won't be enough time to fully explore the implications of the international incident in which US forces shot a bunch of Russian planes out of the sky
"You can be my wingman anytime" is a wild way to say "my lust for you is completely overpowering"
I'm sorry also none of you told me that the end of Top Gun is the exact same as the end of Titanic
Top Gun is nightmarish fascist propaganda but also it is a gay treasure and this is in the credits so overall, nine stars
