BUCK: once, twice annnnd there’s the third shot. President Kennedy is dead. Stay tuned for Lethal Weapon on Fox.
AIKMAN: I hate this parade, joe.

BUCK: Annnnnd the Hindenburg has exploded into a ball of fire. The Hindenburg Casualty Count is brought to you by Doritos. Oh the humanity, what a chip!
AIKMAN: joe, that big balloon went boom

BUCK: and the second tower has been hit. America is under attack. this America Under Attack Update brought to you by Coke. Coke: That’s fresh.
AIKMAN: where did plane go, Joe

BUCK: Archduke Franz Ferdinand has been shot and the world is at war. don’t be at war with your appetite. Taco Bell. Live Mas.
AIKMAN: taco

BUCK: an absolutely disgusting display by John Wilkes Booth and Lincoln is dead. If you’re dead tired, drink Mountain Dew Code Red.
AIKMAN: why did the play stop, joe.

BUCK: there goes Hiroshima. and there goes Nagasaki. Japan has been nuked. The new Ford F-150. Built Ford tough.
AIKMAN: joe, that cloud looks like a dang mushroom.

BUCK: and Caesar has been betrayed. twenty-three stabs. Rome is in turmoil. Sprite: Obey your thirst.
AIKMAN: i don’t like this toga party, Joe.

BUCK: the Challenger shuttle has exploded and a nation mourns. for an explosive night of fun, take the family to Dave & Buster’s. Dave & Buster’s: Here, you’re home.
AIKMAN: fly-fly went boom-boom, joe. you hate to see it.

BUCK: and there it is, the unsinkable Titanic has sunk. bodies floating about. water looks very cold. stay tuned for the Titanic Post-Sink Show brought to you by American Express. Don’t leave home without it.
AIKMAN: joe, ya gotta have a boat that floats. that’s just common sense

BUCK: the levees have broken and new orleans is underwater. a city has sunken. flood your thirst with Lipton Brisk. that's Brisk, baby.
AIKMAN: joe, i cannot swim. sink like a rock.

BUCK: and there it is. baby hitler has been assassinated and history has been changed forever. change your wireless plan forever with Verizon
AIKMAN: (blood on hands) that baby put up a good fight, joe. not a great fight, but a good one.