also this week in d&d we paid a surprise visit to the guys who have been sending weretigers & shit after us, and one of them had this giant dog, not a werecreature or a warg or something, more like an 8 foot long working breed
i had to keep this dog away from our cleric, but i didn't want to KILL it...
i was like "is it cute?" and the answer i got was that most people wouldn't say so but, being a half-orc, my character would find it cute, since she'd be used to the kind of dogs orcs prefer to train
so i realized - i've had this scroll of animal friendship for like seven sessions, four real-world months, ever since we took it off the first lycanthrope from this cult who attacked us. and i can cast it no problem, it's a basic ranger spell. THIS IS CLEARLY WHY I WAS GIVEN IT
*takes out the snacks i keep in my spellcasting component pouch*
*holds one (1) Morsel of Food out to a dog the size of a sofa*
*opens up a scroll and starts reading*
"whomst is a good boy? yea, that is correct. thou art a good boy."

and that's how you cast Animal Friendship
(i dont know any spells that require material components yet, but i bought this component pouch anyway since i'll need it later, so i assume my character keeps like... nuts and berries and stuff in there)
anyway this giant dog is my friend for the next 24 in-game hours and i will do ANYTHING to keep it. i don't care what my DM thinks of this prospect. like 80% of my efforts in this campaign from now on will be devoted to keeping this huge dog as a pet
i bet there's going to be a moment where he's like "well, you didn't take the Beast Master archetype, so you wouldn't be able to use this dog as a companion in combat..." and i'm gonna be like I WOULD NEVER PUT THIS PRECIOUS BABY IN DANGER. I WOULD SOONER DIE MYSELF
finding out the status of my d&d dog tomorrow night and im ready
ah fuck my dire dog has the same strength bonus as me. i successfully made a harness so i can grab it around the withers if it tries to run off, but only my athletics proficiency and a good roll will save us if this rowdy girl decides to pounce on the mayor or something
btw the dire dog is named Journey. *holding its big face in both my hands* but i promise we'll never go our separate ways...
so four weeks ago my D&D character accidentally spilled lycanthropy potion on herself and some got in her mouth (i rolled 5 on a strength check to move a cauldron without spilling it, 10 on a dex save, and 3 on a con save, so failing 3 opportunities to not get werewolf poisoned)
evidently i will need to make another con save against werewolf after a few in-game days, but i just rolled a 20 on a against exhaustion and in-character i feel absolutely great, and am convinced that nothing could possibly be wrong
several weeks back my character had a weretiger tooth put on a silver chain, and i was in suspense over whether silver would burn her now that she's were-poisoned, but i just put it on and nothing happened so now i'm like
oh yeah so i never updated this. my character got wererat-poisoned but it wasn't that bad, it just made her obsessed with acquiring and hoarding valuables and trinkets for a week. honestly not that far off from her fundamental motivation, which is collecting monster teeth.
anyway this hydra didn't notice that i cast Spike Growth and it just kept running
there is some kind of joke, possibly, in how this spell, which creates an enormous amount of small spikes which damage anyone who passes through them, can cause you to roll an unreasonable amount of pointy little d4s
my cousin's D&D game is starting up again and my new character is from a region of Eberron named Talenta and there is no way i'm not going to be calling it Tabantha for months
we took a break after finishing that story arc about a month ago, nya. but starting next week, nya... i'm gonna be playing a tabaxi, nya.
I am not a well bred cat / and do not care to be
my new character has a negative one strength modifier, so when i use my cat-man unarmed strike attack, i will do zero damage 25% of the time
aside from always mixing up the region of Eberron my character is from with a region from BotW, i also will never hear the name of the dragon-ruled continent Argonnessen without thinking "ah, yes, Dargonessen... home of the dargons"
guys... dnd 5e combat is so... boring.... it's been three hours...........
the fucking dragon is standing right on top of the turtle that i polymorphed our arch-enemy into. i need to put that turtle safely into my satchel before she gets stepped on

a lot has happened in this campaign since i last updated this thread
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