home from school and now ya boi's watching spongebob today in honor

I think I'll attach great quotes to this thread as I go~

"Look at me! I'm...NAKEEEEEEEEED!!"

"WHO'S THE BIG YELLOW CUBE WITH HOLES?!"

"I AM!!"

"Ask Squidward! He'll vouch for me!"

>Mr. Krabs and Squidward walk into the corner

Squidward: *inhale* "No."

"Do you smell it? That smell. That kind of smell. The smelly smell that smells...smelly."

"I WANT MY MOMMY, MR. SQUIDWARD!!"

(these are only from the very first episode)

Reef Blower was paired with the pilot? I never knew that. :O

I forgot how SpongeBob met Sandy kicking a clam's ass.

"Where have I seen this before?"

>Opens Field Guide

"Land Squirrel!"

>Struggles to open the clam
>It budges
>Music stops

"Hey, I'm actually doing it!"

>Continues

"Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!

...what's air?"

"When in doubt, pinky out!"

so like does anyone else think it's weird sandy invited spongebob to her place and he shows up and she's just wearing a bikini

Sandy: "Y'know, you're the first sea critter to ever visit!"

SpongeBob, struggling: "I can't imagine why."

"I don't need it... I don't need it... I don't need it...

...

IIIIIII NEEEEEEEED IIIIIIIIIT"

"I'M A QUITTER!!"

[SCREAMING AS HE RUNS AWAY]

"WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?!"

"Hey, Squidward! Wanna blow a bubble?"

"Theeeen...PELVIC THRUST!!"

>SpongeBob blows an elephant balloon

Patrick: "Ahaha! Ahahaha! It's a giraffe!"

"Squid's got jeans! Squid's got jeans!"

Oh man, up next is Ripped Pants.

I'm just gonna watch this one. It's too good to pause every couple seconds.

>SpongeBob calls Patrick

"Hey Patrick, Squid's home! And we're gonna make sure he's greeted by his two best friends!"

"Oh great! Who are they?"

>Both of them are calling each other in the same room

"Us!"

"Firmly grasp it in your hand."

...

"Fiiiirmly. Grasp it."

...

"FIRMLY GRASP IT!!"

"This...is my lab!"

>A Labrador Retriever is on a large screen

"And this...is my laboratory!!"

"50% sea, 50% weed"

"Plankton: 1% evil, 99% hot gas."

"I just got my license!"

"Hey, I'm getting mine next!"

"Hey, I doubt it!"

"What's the first thing you do?"

"...1924?"

"FREEZE, MISTER!!

BIG. TOE."

Continuing through the marathon, we've got Pizza Delivery up next, one of the most notable classics from the first season and easily the entire show.

"ₜᵢᵣₑ ₚᵣₑₛₛᵤᵣₑ!

*eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

Check!"

"BACKING UUUUUUUUUP!

BACKING UP. BACKING UP.

B A A A A A A CK I I I I I NG U U U U U U P"

"HOW COULD IT GET ANY WORSE?!"

>Squidward kicks the car

>The car suddenly has a full tank of gas and rockets off into the horizon

~The Krusty Krab Pizza! Is the pizza! For you and me!~

>The pizza box is carrying SpongeBob through harsh winds

"Would you let go of the pizza?!"

"I can't, it's for the customer!"

"Who cares about the customer?!"

"I do!"

"Well I don't!"

>The wind stops

*gasp* "Squidward!"

>The wind continues

There's no way I can type out this bit, so here it is.

"That's just a stupid boulder!"

"It's not just a boulder! It's a rock!"

>Fawning over the rock

"The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles! And it's in great shape!"

So if I could take a moment to point out the best part of this episode - what happens at the end.

The customer bitches at SpongeBob for forgetting a drink that he never ordered in the first place.

"Didn't you ever once think of the customer?"

In fact, he HAD thought of the customer - SpongeBob hadn't gone more than two minutes the whole episode without mentioning the customer.

This is exactly what it's like to work in the service industry, and only now do I notice how accurate this scene is.

Once Squidward notices SpongeBob is crying because of his poor treatment by the customer, Squidward, despite being fed up with Sponge's antics through the episode, stands up for him and slams the pizza into the customer's face.

This is something that classic SpongeBob excelled in - multi-dimensional characters who reacted according to what was happening around them, instead of sticking to one-note personalities.

I really appreciate the writing team's effort in that regard.

Of course, immediately after this, SpongeBob backs up the rock...

Only for Squidward to find out the Krusty Krab was ACROSS THE STREET THE WHOLE TIME.

I love this show so much.

Next up, Home Sweet Pineapple.

>SpongeBob's screaming wakes up Patrick

"Is it time to ruin Squid's day?"

>Pat's house closes and he hops back out wearing a suit and tophat

"Don't start without me!"

Patrick: "So what're you gonna do?"

SpongeBob: "I guess I'll have to move back in with my mom and dad."

>A framed picture of his parents smiling

Patrick: "Wait a minute, no you don't!"

>The picture again, but the parents are frowning

>SpongeBob is turning a bolt with a wrench

>...except the world is turning and not the bolt

>Patrick falls into the sky, screaming, and back to the ground when the screen levels out again

Patrick: "I wish I lived there!"

SpongeBob: "Really?"

Patrick, still enthusiastic: "No!"

Patrick: "When MY parents kicked me out of the house, I never went back!"

I NEVER NOTICED HOW FUNNY THIS LINE IS OH MY GOD

>Patrick snored so loud that SpongeBob put a giant cork in his mouth, but when he violently wakes up...

"SPIDER!!"

>Patrick starts smashing SpongeBob with his rock

>SpongeBob moves a few yards off and closes his eyes

...

"SPIDER!!!"

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy is up next.

Every episode in this saga is incredible.

this is both a hilarious visual gag i never noticed and could also easily be a fish pun

"It's too bad they're old."

Mermaid Man: "I wanna eat my meatloaf! If you don't get outta here, then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife!"

Retirement aid: "What is going on in here?!"

Mermaid Man: "You may kiss the bride!!"

"Did you reunite our heroes?"

"No. But I'm married."

"There's evil afoot!"

"EEEEVIL?! Where is it?!"

"There it is!!"

"Sea creatures, unite!!"

>All they can summon are the other elderly fish

"Hmm. The creatures of the deep seem to have lost some of their luster..."

"I did it! I feel 5 years younger!"

"WE did it, you old coot."

"Who are you?"

Oh boy, Pickles is up next. That's a good one.

"Can I get some extra salt?"

"We're all out."

"Could'ya check?"

"...No."

This whole clip is great. Even better is the sheer force at which Squidward gets slapped.

The funny thing with this episode is how SpongeBob makes a perfect Krabby Patty the same way every time, but the moment his method gets called into question, he falls apart.

Nowadays, that's pretty relatable. If I get off-kilter from my usual momentum, I go crazy, too.

"Uh...which way do I live?"

"Hey...he burnt my Krabby Patty!"

"He burnt my fries!"

"He burnt my shake."

"I got it...I got it! It's all very clear to me now, Mr. Krabs!"

"It is?!"

"Yes! I've finally realized that...I...can't...do it!! I can't do it, Mr. Krabs!! I'm a failure!"

"...wait, a, MINUTE!!"

>SpongeBob yanks Bubble Bass' tongue out of his mouth

"Look!! He's been hiding the pickles under his tongue the whole time!"

"And there's the pickles from last time, too!"

"And there's my car keys!"

"And three cheers for the fry cook who took my place while I was gone: Squidward!

Hip hip!"

"Booo."

"Hip hip!"

"Booo."

"Hip hip!"

"BOO, YOU STINK!"

Hall Monitor up next.

"What are the consequences of what I've just done..."

"Take it, friends. Arm yourselves with knowledge."

"I'll go this way, you go some different way!"

SpongeBob's visual gags are some of my favorite parts of the show. They're so weird and out of left field and I love 'em.

And immediately following this, one of the most iconic scenes in the series' history.

I still quote this to this day. This episode came out 19 years ago.

Next up is Jellyfish Jam, another classic for season 1.

"Hey Squidward...would it be possible to play your clarinet a little...better?"

The techno song in Jellyfish Jam is a fucking bop.

The fun thing about doing this marathon is getting to see episodes that aren't in syndication anymore.

Hell, some of these dropped off almost entirely.

I don't remember the last time I saw Sandy's Rocket.

every once in a while, there's a joke in spongebob that just makes you go "YO WHAT THE FUCK"

"See this? This...is science."

"Hey, who turned the heavy back on?!"

"So you mean to say they've taken what we thought we think and make us think we thought our thoughts we've been thinking our thoughts we think we thought? I think..."

"It's even uglier up close..."

"Twiiiiins..."

"Sponge boy me bob!"

the squeaky boots are actually annoying for real lmao

same

Squeaky Boots turns into a really fucked up Telltale Heart situation right at the end.

"Why did you eat my boots, Mr. Krabs."

SpongeBob throwing the fire extinguisher absolutely kills me.

"And this is your golden scepter. With which...YOU RULE!"

SpongeBob says goodbye to his friends as he vows to live in nature with the jellyfish...

...and then walks across the street and takes his pants off.

"Well. Won't be needing these!"

>SpongeBob sprints into the distance ass-naked shouting "Buzz! Buzz!"

Squidward: "He took off his pants."

Sandy: "I give him a week."

Squidward: "I give him 11 minutes."

"Even Squidward misses you!"

also i accidentally got this fun little frame while trimming that clip

"Greetings, comrades!"

Oh hey, Opposite Day! This is a good one.

"You don't know what day it is, do you?"

"Uh...Wednesday."

"Normally, you're really loud and annoying, so...what are you going to be today?"

"QUIET AND OUT OF THE WAY!! YAAAAAAY!!"

"Gary! Where's your holiday spirit?!"

"Opposite Day? I've heard of that!"

"You have?"

"No! What is it?"

SpongeBob decides to show Patrick how to do Opposite Day, the wrong way.

also this is a fucking terrifying concept

By the way, if you take the reversed audio from that clip and cut up the conversation to put it in the right order, you get this.

I don't even think that's the case, because it's still perfectly in character to Patrick. https://twitter.com/MagiKoopa24/status/1068017646568914945

"I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward Squidward Squidward!"

"Opposite Day. Next time it's gonna be Jump Off A Cliff Day."

SpongeBob giving the realtor a tour of the house is too long to fit in a Twitter clip, but god it's funny.

"Okay."
>Keeps playing

You thought we'd go through this whole thread without sharing this legendary clip? Fools, the lot of you.