Last night my roommate asked if I was Team Edward/Team Jacob (I'd already said that I never liked Twilight)

I said Team Alice

They said "Bri you're such a feminist I love it"

I was like no Edward and Jacob are just ugly creeps (read: the characters' creepiness makes them ugly)

Alice is cute and not an overbearing weirdo like almost everyone else

I don't like her out of everyone bc THE WOMEN I like her bc I'm bi and have high standards

Rosalie was also kinda cool tho

Imagine Twilight but just Alice and Rosalie being badass bitches, I'd be so down

TO BE FAIR you could say the reason I dislike the series as a whole, bc of Bella, is sort of feminist-esque? I was going to say she has no thought of her own, but she does

It's just that she, literally, LIVES FOR EDWARD and I'm like GIRL LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE IT'S OKAY

Imagine if in New Moon we got to see Bella actually re-learn how to be an independent person during the LITERAL MONTHS/UNFILLED PAGES she sat alone in her room being sad that Edward broke up with her (and LIED ABOUT WHY), before she starts hanging out with Jacob to cope with it

Imagine if she wasn't always like "just turn me vamp already" and we SAW HER STRUGGLE TO DECIDE if that was a future she wanted

Imagine if her deciding factor was "actually painful vamp/human sex that leaves me bruised doesn't sound worth it, we're already married, just turn me"

ON THAT NOTE

IMAGINE IF SHE WENT TF OFF ON BOTH EDWARD AND JACOB FOR ALWAYS ASSUMING THAT THEY KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR HER AND ALWAYS ASSUMING THAT WHAT'S BEST IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT SHE ACTUALLY WANTS

AT LEAST 80% OF THE BULLSHIT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED

Also imagine if virginity wasn't glorified and seen as pure!!! Edward doesn't think he should fuck Bella for the longest time, even though they both clearly want to, to "protect her soul"!!!

WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT PROPAGANDA IS THIS (oh wait, the Mormon kind)

Also before anyone comes at me with lore about the Volturi and vampire laws and shit: I don't care about that, I care that literally nothing that happens in the series is practical

In conclusion: Bella and literally every female in real or fictional existence deserve so much better than both Edward AND Jacob

The end