i work at a boba place and I’ve compiled my research

so here’s what your favorite boba drink says about you : a thread

1) Original Milk Tea

chances are you’re an abg. or one of those asian guys that has a supreme shoulder bag. either way you’re gonna end up going to uc irvine

2) Taro Milk Tea

you’re probably pretty new to this whole boba thing. that or you’re too scared to try anything else. stop doubting yourself! trust your instincts! step out of your comfort zone!

3) Thai Milk Tea

you’re probably a soccer mom. or you’re an asian person that enjoys the simple things. either way you gotta get somethin quick and cheap for your boba fix and god knows you only got so much money to spare

4) Jasmine Milk Tea

you are the softest of all asian girls. we have to protect you at all costs.

5) Lavendar Milk Tea

this nasty. y’all really out here drinking sum that smell like your Lola’s living room. you’re at a limbo stage in your life rn and you need help fast

6) Hazelnut Milk Tea

you’re a working class person. you’re about that bread. you’re pretty mentally mature. stay on your grind but don’t overwork yourself, you’re still soft on the inside

7) Tiger Milk Tea

you a lil fancy. you like adventure, but not too much. commitment is scary, but it’s okay! don’t let anyone force you to choose!

8) Matcha Milk Tea

you wanna be healthy, but do you really wanna be healthy? you do all the right steps. read your horoscope. meditate to harness your chakras. your stressed but not enough to drastically change your lifestyle. this will do.

9) Honeydew Milk Tea

personally I’m not a fan but people who like it swear by it religiously. you’re probably soft spoken and sweet. not the brightest person in the world, but you try hard and that’s what matters

10) Lychee Slush/ Snow

you’re a little bit of a wild card. unpredictable. maybe a little bit hyperactive. it’s okay, we still love you.

11) Strawberry Slush/ Snow

you’re probably someone who isn’t asian. you appreciate the culture though and this drink made you like boba. you still have the heart and soul of a lil kid and you’re not ashamed of it

12) Mango Slush/Snow

your family/friends are important to you. you like to have a good time, so you don’t take bullshit. people call you the light of their life

13) Cantaloupe Slush/ Snow

you are a rare breed. you are shrouded in mystery. secretly chaotic evil energy

14) Coconut Slush/ Snow

you’re that bitch. you love yourself, and you’re not embarrassed to say it. you’re right in the midst of your prime. some people might say you’re conceited, but it’s half true. shine on babygirl

15) Coffee Milk Tea

you did not come to fuck around. you mean business. probably going to be someone’s boss someday. right now you are STRESSED but you keep it behind a stern exterior. people are scared of you. deep down you’re a softie but right now you got shit to do

16) Mocha Slush/ Snow

you wanna be like coffee, but that’s so much energy just being scary all the time. you’re sweet, probably a dog person. you just wanna make friends, but you’re kind of a pushover. you do envy assertive people, but you just end up being overly nice

17) Oolong Milk Tea

oh you ASIAN asian. probably the artsy type. cute and quirky. you probably have terrible vision and don’t take care of yourself as well as you should.

18) Wintermelon Milk Tea (by popular demand)

we don’t have this at my job but from those who’ve asked me before, you’re probably defensive. but for good reason. you’re afraid of change. you have a hard time trusting people. don’t be afraid to open up!

19) Almond Milk Tea

the sweetest people ever. you bring joy to a lot of people. no one deserves you!! anyone who’s ever broken your heart was literally a loser and you can do better

20) Earl Grey Milk Tea

I’ve had this only once and I want it again. y’all are also most likely asian and people with excellent fashion sense. tend to be introverted, but you’re a solid friend for the people you’re close to

21) Hokkaido Milk Tea

mom friend. would take a bullet for you. if stan twitter were a drink, it would be this (don’t worry I’m dragging myself on this one)

22) Any Fruit/ Flavored Teas

you like to live a little bit. making people happy makes you happy. you’re impulsive and a little bit moody but hey, no one’s perfect

22) Rose Tea (by popular demand)

beautiful ass people. fragile, always nearing the edge of a breakdown but you are gonna get through this shit! dont let people walk all over you !

23) Okinawa Milk Tea (by popular demand)

very close to Hokkaido milk tea people. craves affection. is lonely but won’t admit it.

24) Passionfruit Slush/ Snow

my go to for months before I worked at PLB. you’re probably funny and have a lot of people who genuinely like you even though you hate yourself a lil bit. don’t be so critical!

25) Cookies and Cream Slush/ Snow

let’s be honest here. you’re basically just drinking a glorified milkshake. you’re a gonna be child forever.

26) Avocado Slush/ Snow

blunt and picky. you have residual bitterness and your anger can rub off on people. not everybody is out to get you!

27) Vanilla Slush/ Snow

you appreciate art and communicating with people. some people find you a little annoying but you have good intentions. also the milk tea is better