A thread of jokes and puns my dad makes https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙂" title="Leicht lächelndes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Leicht lächelndes Gesicht">:

Me & dad: *at the cinema, ordering tickets to watch a Johnny English movie*
Dad: "Excuse me po miss, do you know if Johnny Tagalog is showing?"

johnny taGALOG-- ASDFGHJKL https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Schädel" aria-label="Emoji: Schädel">

Dad: *waits at the food stand*
Me: "You& #39;re ordering something?"
Dad: "AY HINDI, I& #39;m just stopping by to say hi nalang"

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😤" title="Triumphierendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Triumphierendes Gesicht">

-at a nail spa-
Employee: "Is that your dad?" *points at him*
Dad: "Ay no, I don& #39;t know her" *shoos me away*

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😑" title="Ausdrucksloses Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Ausdrucksloses Gesicht"> uhh excuse me po LOL

Dad: *shows our new car* "This is the very first white car we ever bought!"
Me: "Dad... Our previous car was white..."
Dad: "Hindi, it was silver!! ... Well, it WAS white, & it turned silver bc of all the dust! "

... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😑" title="Ausdrucksloses Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Ausdrucksloses Gesicht">

Dad: "Anak, you know you have a Tagalog name?"
Me: "No waaay, what is it? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😱" title="Vor Angst schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Vor Angst schreiendes Gesicht">"
Dad: "It& #39;s & #39;pwet-ley& #39; https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😜" title="Winking face with tongue" aria-label="Emoji: Winking face with tongue">"

..... UHM VERY FUNNY DAD

^ Just fyi this was an old joke but it was too iconic not to share LOL https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Schädel" aria-label="Emoji: Schädel">