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Okay so here’s the thread of all the weird/funny things my professors say, or have said before...
Enjoy
Enjoy
“You drew outlines and filled them up with spaghetti”
“We build things and blob them down somewhere like they’re a spaceship from Mars”
“If you ever see someone using a pencil that is not a clutch pencil, just laugh at them to their face and walk away”
“If you can’t do this, i suggest you open a gelato store”
“So if you ever want to get hit by lightning, your chances are pretty high over there”
A guy asked if we can do something or not, and the prof replied with:
“If you do that, you fail. Then you’ll have to go to UOS. See these here? These are girls, say goodbye to them because i hear you won’t be seeing much of them there”
“If you do that, you fail. Then you’ll have to go to UOS. See these here? These are girls, say goodbye to them because i hear you won’t be seeing much of them there”
“The biggest crime is setting a plant in a corner”
“You cannot cheat in my class. I am from italy, i invented the mafia. If you cheat, i will find out.”
“Don’t try to be smart. Accept and embrace how dumb you are because that’s what you have to do to figure it out”
“It’s like cutting off your finger, you might live but you might also bleed to death or whatever”
*talking about plants*
“No matter what i gave them, they just wanted to die”
“No matter what i gave them, they just wanted to die”
“Only when life gets so bad that you crawl out of the bathroom window, do you see why you paid millions on this building”
Prof: *shows slide* “Have you ever seen these blue tree before?”
Class: “no?!”
Prof: “REALLY?!” They’re all over the place?”
*looks at how confused we are”
“I’m just kidding, these are painted”
Class: “no?!”
Prof: “REALLY?!” They’re all over the place?”
*looks at how confused we are”
“I’m just kidding, these are painted”
*points to slide*
“There he is! Mr. Fairchild, the chubby looking fellow”
“There he is! Mr. Fairchild, the chubby looking fellow”
“It’s just a goat path, like you can pet the goat, feed it, be friends with it, have a relationship with it if you want”
“In 4 ...or 6...years when you graduate... if you graduate”
“Do you watch netflix?”
Us: “yes”
Prof goes on about a show we don’t know: “you don’t watch it?! What do you watch? Daredevil?”
Someone: “friends”
Prof: “That show is the reason behind the downfall of western culture the only logical part was when joey liked rachel, the dumb two”
Us: “yes”
Prof goes on about a show we don’t know: “you don’t watch it?! What do you watch? Daredevil?”
Someone: “friends”
Prof: “That show is the reason behind the downfall of western culture the only logical part was when joey liked rachel, the dumb two”
“You won’t need to design a space where you keep the expensive china that your mum only takes out once every 6 months when guests are over”
“So how do we define stress?”
*pause*
“Lack of sleep?”
*pause*
“Lack of sleep?”
*Solving a physics question about gold*
Professor: “the only thing that matter is having money in you wallet”
Professor: “the only thing that matter is having money in you wallet”
*@Nhussein_ asks question*
Prof: “i don’t understand come draw ot out”
Nada: *tries explaining again*
Prof: “come and draw it... or are you chicken?”
Prof: “i don’t understand come draw ot out”
Nada: *tries explaining again*
Prof: “come and draw it... or are you chicken?”
Prof: *Mentions and architect* “do you know how he died?”
Us: “No?”
Him: “i love this story”
*tells story of the architect dying while begging for money to buuild his church*
“whatever, anyways to beg for your work, that’s passion”
Us: “No?”
Him: “i love this story”
*tells story of the architect dying while begging for money to buuild his church*
“whatever, anyways to beg for your work, that’s passion”
Class about stairs:
“Going down the stairs is more dun as i go faster”
“Stairs are amazing things, you can dance up them”
*shows slide* “this would be fun to skateboard down”
“Going down the stairs is more dun as i go faster”
“Stairs are amazing things, you can dance up them”
*shows slide* “this would be fun to skateboard down”
*a phone rings in the middle of class*
Prof: “ya3ni at least have good taste in music”
Prof: “ya3ni at least have good taste in music”
“Remember how you woke up one day to find yourself in the basement of CAAD *pause* in absolute hell”
“It’s a predetermined system that leads down a ruin, disaster, and failing grades”
“Give me the wide fans and let the people suffer”
“Again, Math. I love it, it doesn’t always love me”
“I’ll tell you this joke, because it’s the only one i know”
*messes it up*
“I can’t believe i messed that up it’s my only joke”
*messes it up*
“I can’t believe i messed that up it’s my only joke”
*shows slide of a chicken with glasses*
“Look how mad that chicken looks”
“Look at the chicken, it’s like Ben Franklin”
“It’s a chicken with glasses people!”
“Look how mad that chicken looks”
“Look at the chicken, it’s like Ben Franklin”
“It’s a chicken with glasses people!”
“You don’t want to drive into the side walk and run over innocent civilian then into the street and get hit by a bus”
Girl: “How do you know the designer used it for that specifically rather than just knowing not its function”
Prof: “I give him credit for not being dumb”
Prof: “I give him credit for not being dumb”
“No street? Dang it that really sucks, i’m gnna be bummed out for a really long while”
“This is the belly button of the world”
“It’s like you in studio. Legend says they lulled them into jumping off the ship and drowning themselves to death. For you it’s like they’re telling you ‘comon go to sleep, take a little nap, watch some tv’ “
Prof: *enters class* “i have good news”
Class: “no quiz?”
Prof: “no, there is a quiz”
Class: “is it open book?”
Prof: “no, but it’s open mind!”
...
Tbh still don’t get what the good news was
Class: “no quiz?”
Prof: “no, there is a quiz”
Class: “is it open book?”
Prof: “no, but it’s open mind!”
...
Tbh still don’t get what the good news was
”Do you know what shrimp eat?”
*silence*
“Fish poop”
*silence*
“Fish poop”
*discussing the level of eloquence and confidence we need for presentations*
Prof: “as long as there are no fluids, it’s okay. Just make sure all the exits are closed and no fluids make their way out of any part of your body”
Prof: “as long as there are no fluids, it’s okay. Just make sure all the exits are closed and no fluids make their way out of any part of your body”
“You splash water at the guests and get a big laugh out of it”
*moving to a dif slide*
Us: “professor you froze the screen”
Prof: “oh i did? So we’ll just let the sun shine on it”
Us: “professor you froze the screen”
Prof: “oh i did? So we’ll just let the sun shine on it”
“I don’t know why it’s called battering, has nothing to do with cooking, but it’s a good word”
“It’ll just fall down like a TON OF BRICKS on you” *starts laughing to himself*
...It’s a wall designing project
...It’s a wall designing project
*discussing issues we faced*
Prof 1: “so all the printers crashed on submission day?What could you do as a group to overcome the situation” *pause* “kill a few? Less print outs.. like hunger games”
Prof 2: “what else? Not saying that wouldn’t work, maybe it’d help but what else?”
Prof 1: “so all the printers crashed on submission day?What could you do as a group to overcome the situation” *pause* “kill a few? Less print outs.. like hunger games”
Prof 2: “what else? Not saying that wouldn’t work, maybe it’d help but what else?”
“Just assume that if i’m joking, it’s bad. And if i’m talking, it’s sarcastic”
*introducing the new project*
Prof 1: “this assignment is about freedom -“
Prof 2: “Freedom yes! This assignment is about Braveheart”
Prof 1: “this assignment is about freedom -“
Prof 2: “Freedom yes! This assignment is about Braveheart”
*elaborating on an analogy”
Prof 1: “Once you’re hungry, gold just isn’t enough” *pause* “Woah the was deep!”
Prof 2: “That WAS deep”
Prof 3: “Really deep”
Prof 1: “Unless you’re hungry all the time, and that’s okay!”
Prof 1: “Once you’re hungry, gold just isn’t enough” *pause* “Woah the was deep!”
Prof 2: “That WAS deep”
Prof 3: “Really deep”
Prof 1: “Unless you’re hungry all the time, and that’s okay!”
“Sometimes i wonder if i’m teaching or doing stand up”
“Wait *zooms in* just as i thought” *pause* “your wall is flying”
*shows a scene from Space Odyssey*
“I mean, i’ve never done drugs in my lifetime but... it was the 70s, and y’know.. i see a correlation”
“I mean, i’ve never done drugs in my lifetime but... it was the 70s, and y’know.. i see a correlation”
“If you wnna decide on a partner just go to ikea. If you’d don’t fight and neither one of you goes out broke or fed up with life, you know you’ve found the one”
“I think Le Corbusier had problems mentally”
“I don’t know why they let him off the plane, he should have been kept there forever”
“I don’t know why they let him off the plane, he should have been kept there forever”
*Discussing steel ductility*
“The steel goes ‘oh no i can’t do it anymore’ sort of like you in studio when you flip out and start to cower under your desks of whatever”
“The steel goes ‘oh no i can’t do it anymore’ sort of like you in studio when you flip out and start to cower under your desks of whatever”
*describing a building*
“We can work with that same kind of seriality... not cornflakes“
“We can work with that same kind of seriality... not cornflakes“
“Age is just a construct, i’m turning 55 soon, but i know i’m still 30”
“We were designing a house for steve j-“
*pause*
“btw, Steve Jobs was my client once, but we were from New York so we thought he was just a California geek”
*another pause*
“We thought the whole apple thing was just meh”
*pause*
“btw, Steve Jobs was my client once, but we were from New York so we thought he was just a California geek”
*another pause*
“We thought the whole apple thing was just meh”
*critic asks a question*
Me: “it’s a bit of both *explains* “
Critic #2: “i have a joke, it’s bad but i really want to make it. The joke is, *clears throat and lowers his voice* the only thing that can be a bit of both is sweet and sour chicken
i told you it’s bad, anyway-“
Me: “it’s a bit of both *explains* “
Critic #2: “i have a joke, it’s bad but i really want to make it. The joke is, *clears throat and lowers his voice* the only thing that can be a bit of both is sweet and sour chicken
i told you it’s bad, anyway-“
*discussing a cemeteries*
Prof: “guys, it’s expensive to die, you have to find a space for yourself”
Prof: “guys, it’s expensive to die, you have to find a space for yourself”
*discussing matter*
Prof: “Are you matter?”
Guy: “yes..?”
Prof: “is a potato matter?”
Guy: “yes?”
Prof: “so you’re a potato?”
Prof: “Are you matter?”
Guy: “yes..?”
Prof: “is a potato matter?”
Guy: “yes?”
Prof: “so you’re a potato?”
*stats professor explaining a question*
Siri from his watch: “sorry, siri cannot answer your question”
Same
Siri from his watch: “sorry, siri cannot answer your question”
Same
“In other words, i’m the bullsh** girl. I call myself the cleaner, you know how the mafia when they have a dead body someone has to clean up the mess? That’s me. The cleaner
”
”
*puts on a youtube tutorial*
Youtuber: “Hey guys, my name is Kate”
Professor: “hello kate!”
Youtuber: “Hey guys, my name is Kate”
Professor: “hello kate!”
Prof: “i downloaded tik tok the other day and havent slept all weekend! Are you guys into it or is that not your generation? Are you more of snapchat people?”
Us: *discussing our preference*
Prof: “idk why i asked, you’re not a proper representation of your generation”
Us: *discussing our preference*
Prof: “idk why i asked, you’re not a proper representation of your generation”
Prof: “i sat with my 11y/old sister in law this weekend and got educated about your generation” *pause* “did you know billie eilish is 16?”
Us: *laughing in confusion*
Prof: “what are you doing with your lives?” *pause* “she has that song? bad boy?”
?
Us: *laughing in confusion*
Prof: “what are you doing with your lives?” *pause* “she has that song? bad boy?”
?
Prof: *references ps1* “do you guys even know how ps1 looked like”
Us: “we had ps1 growing up”
Prof: “aren’t half of you born in 2000? Your parents must’ve hated you?!” *pause* “wow i’m old”
Us: “we had ps1 growing up”
Prof: “aren’t half of you born in 2000? Your parents must’ve hated you?!” *pause* “wow i’m old”
“As of today, you’re now officially closer to the end than you are to the beginning, it only goes downhill from here”
“Everything you people build and design is absolutely placeless”
“I can’t wait for my kids to have kids, that’s when i’ll get my revenge”
“The new engineering building used to be sublime during construction, then they turned it into this turd-like state”
Girl: “professor why are YOU allowed to go to CAAD?”
Professor: “because i’m old and i’m about to die soon”
Professor: “because i’m old and i’m about to die soon”
“If i see any more of this stuff my head is going to explode and a chicken will come out and kill everyone around”
“You’re a relatively quiet group of people. So it’s like being in a funeral, i just feel like i’m giving a eulogy at some stranger’s funeral”
*telling him we can’t hear him*
“Hold on guys, i’m having a bad hair day, give me a minute”
“Hold on guys, i’m having a bad hair day, give me a minute”
We emailed our prof. asking for an extension on a progress submission —
