Read on Twitter
I’ve been playing as a sub on the Scene for eight years now. Been owned a few times by Dommes. Worked in a fetish club for six years. Met hundreds of players along the way. Learned a heckuva lot on my travels! Here are my top ten tips for newbie subs!
1) Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Is this lifestyle for you? Do you have unresolved issues? Suffering from abnormal stress? Get yourself into a good mental space first. FemDom can be incredibly demanding on the psyche. Don’t do yourself a mischief with a Mistress.
Is this lifestyle for you? Do you have unresolved issues? Suffering from abnormal stress? Get yourself into a good mental space first. FemDom can be incredibly demanding on the psyche. Don’t do yourself a mischief with a Mistress.
2) All that glitters is not gold.
Dommes look fantastic! Your heads will inevitably turn. But don’t let all the blood rush to the southern one though. Beware the drama queens. The money grabbers. The gossipers. They can’t help themselves and show their true colours often. Avoid.
Dommes look fantastic! Your heads will inevitably turn. But don’t let all the blood rush to the southern one though. Beware the drama queens. The money grabbers. The gossipers. They can’t help themselves and show their true colours often. Avoid.
3) Preparation. Preparation. Preparation.
So you’ve seen the Domme of your dreams online. Work for Her before you contact Her. Rinse Her website. Follow Her social media. Research Her like it’s the important job interview it could actually be. And develop your own USP. Stand out.
So you’ve seen the Domme of your dreams online. Work for Her before you contact Her. Rinse Her website. Follow Her social media. Research Her like it’s the important job interview it could actually be. And develop your own USP. Stand out.
4) Don’t confuse lust with love.
It’s very easy to become infatuated with a Domme. Be careful. She’s a pro who knows how to charm you. For a fee and for a fixed time. Nothing dishonourable there. Enjoy the attention. But watch your emotions as She’s unlikely to reciprocate them.
It’s very easy to become infatuated with a Domme. Be careful. She’s a pro who knows how to charm you. For a fee and for a fixed time. Nothing dishonourable there. Enjoy the attention. But watch your emotions as She’s unlikely to reciprocate them.
5) Get offline and explore.
The internet is great for making new connections but nothing beats getting out there and showing your face at clubs, events and parties. I met three of my Owners since 2010 via them, not online. It’s a perfect way to showcase your personality and USP.
The internet is great for making new connections but nothing beats getting out there and showing your face at clubs, events and parties. I met three of my Owners since 2010 via them, not online. It’s a perfect way to showcase your personality and USP.
6) Beware the rabbit holes.
I fell into one over shoes as I love Loubs! Mixed with FemDom and FinDomme, this habit took me for thousands. Budget yourself carefully. Impose limits & let the Domme know. No shame there. If She badgers you to go on, run off. When the fun stops, stop.
I fell into one over shoes as I love Loubs! Mixed with FemDom and FinDomme, this habit took me for thousands. Budget yourself carefully. Impose limits & let the Domme know. No shame there. If She badgers you to go on, run off. When the fun stops, stop.
7) Is being owned for you?
Ownership was always the Holy Grail for me. But it comes with its own challenges. Is there vanilla compatibility? How are disputes resolved? Will you be dismissed for infractions that could be worked out if it was a vanilla relationship? Choose wisely.
Ownership was always the Holy Grail for me. But it comes with its own challenges. Is there vanilla compatibility? How are disputes resolved? Will you be dismissed for infractions that could be worked out if it was a vanilla relationship? Choose wisely.
8) Today’s hard limits, tomorrow’s hard ons.
Be open to growth. FemDom is an amazing journey offering growth to subs who want to stretch themselves. By all means, respect your limits but there are deep riches to be had in overcoming taboos. You may even end up with new pleasures!
Be open to growth. FemDom is an amazing journey offering growth to subs who want to stretch themselves. By all means, respect your limits but there are deep riches to be had in overcoming taboos. You may even end up with new pleasures!
9) Feminism yes. Sisterhood no.
Subscribe to the tenets of Feminism. Understand about male entitlement & ‘mansplaining’. Support the struggle for fair play for women. Be wary about the Sisterhood though. Spite and cattiness abounds among some Dommes. Don’t get sucked into dramas!
Subscribe to the tenets of Feminism. Understand about male entitlement & ‘mansplaining’. Support the struggle for fair play for women. Be wary about the Sisterhood though. Spite and cattiness abounds among some Dommes. Don’t get sucked into dramas!
10) Have a hinterland to retreat to. Don’t be totally captive to FemDom every waking hour! Have proper vanilla interests you can escape to away from your Domme. It will spare you from pestering Her when She’s not paying you any attention. And your mind will appreciate the break!
