Once Ed found Chachaji himself putting water on the cricket pitch. Ed was astonished, curiously she asked “Chachaji ye thum kya karta?” Chachaji calmly said “I perform better on the wet pitches”. Ed blushed & said “Pitch is already very wet, time to play” Chachaji obliged her
While Chachaji was doing net practice, Ed romantically asked him “Pundat, do you like grass on the pitch?”, “I love it”, said Chachaji with his tongue moving on his lips. “Goodbye then, now I’ll see you after a fortnight” Said Ed & she left immediately
To get fresh air & spend time away from crowd, Chachaji & Ed used to go to his non violent friend Mohan in an ashram. Once Chachaji went out of booze after he & Ed consumed a full bottle. Pundat screamed “Chal Ganpat daaru la”, Mohan got angry & resolved, he’d make it a dry state
Caressing fingers in Chachaji’s hairy chest & bare head, Ed asked “Chachaji, thum ne partition kiya, people got killed, thum famous ho gaya, par thumhara aulad kya karega?” Chachaji sipping brandy said “India & San will impose emergency, the pilot will cause kiIIing of Sikhs”
Ed was an extremely caring & compassionate woman. Once she noticed badly bruised knees of Chachaji, she got worried & asked “Chachaji, ye kya hua kaise hua?”, Chachaji turned poetic & said “Tumhi ne dard diya hai tumhi dawa dena”, Ed applied balm & did dressing of his kness
Ed was very fond of Chachaji’s poetry, once during those romantic moments, she insisted “Chachaji kuch sunao hum ka” This was the moment Pundat recited
“The wood is lovely, dark and can go deep ~ Promises for my country can wait ~ Jump in the bed, together we should sleep”
UIDAI was earlier known as Rajiv Gandhi Unique Identification Authority of India. But fascist Modi removed Rajiv Gandhi from it. Also name ‘Aadhaar’ was originally coined by Ed who used to scream ‘Pundat Aadaal Aadaal’, every time she wanted Chachaji to pour a drink in her glass
“Chachaji, look here” Ed shouted excitingly. “What happened darling?” Chachaji asked. “Mudi has launched Ayushman, free medical insurance, it covers pregnancy too, you know what I mean”, she said “At this age?”, Chachaji disapproved. “Alright, I’d find someone else”, Ed reacted
Lord told Ed it was his dad’s shraadh & asked if she knew any Pandit for the rituals. Ed called Chachaji, prepared pooris, halwa. When leaving, Lord offered Chachaji some money as dakshina. Chachaji refused to accept & said “I keep getting my dakshina from Ed” Ed ran away coyly
It was Chachaji’s birthday. Ed prepared cake & reached Chachaji’s house. His room was bolted from inside, she shouted “Pundat it’s me, your Ed”. As Chachaji opened the door, she saw many children. “Pandat, thum bachon se kitna pyar karta”, she said with tears of joy in her eyes
“Pundat, thum humka parties mein nahin lekar jaata, public appearance mein bhi nahin jaata humka saath, BC aisa kyon?”, Ed asked. “Understand, it will be damaging to my public life”, he said. “Saala thumhara friend Mohan ke saath toh har time 2 ladki hota” An angry Ed protested
Ed screamed “Pundat, hard more hard, put it more, more, deeper, gimme gimme”. Chachaji was a man of patience, he sighed & said “Ed darling, try it, I’ve made it very hard, poured 80 ml rum with ice only, drink it & I’d then give you more”. They continued drinking the whole night
When leaving ashram, Ed asked Mohan if she could do anything for him. Mohan winked & said “Suna hai bahut kateeli nachaniya ho, Jinn bola Lahore mein bahut zor naachi thi, eek dau thhumka hum ka bhi dikhao Edwa Rani”. Pundat broke an empty bottle on the ground & smiled deviously
Once a man wearing thick glasses came to meet Chachaji. Chachaji asked Ed to put on her gloves & face mask. He was served country made liquor in a plastic glass. When he was gone, Ed asked “Pundat, ye aadmi khuan tha?”. “His name is Bhim & he is a Shudra, dirty fellow” He said
Already drunk Chachaji grabbed another bottle from his bar & dictated “Ed, go & wash glasses”, Ed got angry & cursed “Pundat BC, thum humka glass dhone ko bola, hum tum ko shraap deta, thumhata granson ka widow aur usska dumbo son ek din dish clean karega aur jail bhi jaayega”
Ed was in Switzerland & Chachaji was chatting with her “Darling, I’m thirsty”, He typed with one hand. “Naughty Pundat, hum thumko kuch pics bhejta, apna pyaas bujha lo, but dekhne ke baad delete kar dena” Ed replied

FYI, these pics played a vital role in our struggle to freedom
This #MeToo hashtag isn’t new. There is mention of a convo between Chachaji & Mohan when Ed & Chachaji had gone to Ashram:
Chachaji: Do you find Ed hot?
Mohan: She is extremely hot & sexy
Chachaji: I must confess & tell you that I’m in love with her
Mohan: #MeToo
Ed rested her head on Chachaji’s chest & puffing a cigarette she said “Pundat thum itna girls ko harass karta fir bhi koi allegation nahin, thum saala akha magician hai”, playing with her curly hair he said “This is nothing, I’d harass the whole nation & no one wd raise a finger”
Ed took Chachaji’s bat in her hand & said “Pundat thumhara bat bahut heavy long aur hard hota, hum bahut logon ke saath khela par aisa bat nahin dekha”, “Ed, this bat is best suited for English pitches which are bouncy & grassy”Chachaji replied promptly. “Let’s play” Ed whispered
Chachaji’s texts to Ed
Before #MeToo
“Ed darling, I’m very thirty, I wanna come close to you, touch you, feel you, kiss you e’wherr, are you hurny right now?”

After #MeToo
“Ed Didi, How are you? Aaj Rakshabandhan hai, mai rakhi bandhwaane aa raha hun. Are you at home right now?
Ed dressed as a Gujarati girl went to Chachaji’s mansion, after a customary kissing & smooching session. she said “Pundat, let’s play dandiya”, “Ed, my stick is damaged” His voice was gloomy. “Thhumhara damaged stick bhi Lord ki stick se achha khelta”, she said & started dancing
It’s not that Chachaji was always virtuous & gentle to Ed, one incident that really made him furious was when Ed complained & alleged “Pundat thum hum ko jhooth bola, liar liar pants on fire, thum bola thum Allahabad mein born hota par hum ko pata chal gaya thum Prayagraj se hai”
Once Chachaji told Ed “Darling let’s go to Sabrimala temple”, Ed hawwed & said “Pundat, Hindu tradition mein ladeez nahin jata wahan” “Damn Hindus, I don’t give them a f***”, drunk Pundat roared, “Pundat ek din ye ich Hindu thumhari family ka hasti mita de ga” Angry Ed predicted
“Pundat thum PM kaise banega, thum se kaabil bahut log hota” Ed asked. Chachaji moving fingers over her body explained “There’re 2 competitors, Subh & Pat. I made sure Subh is never gonna come back & Pat is not liked by Mohan”, “Luv you”, said Ed licking Chachaji’s neck & earlobe
Ed was an emotional woman, she never wanted India’s division, she cried a lot when this news broke. But Chachaji was a shameless creature, he’d no regrets. This made Ed furious & she cursed “Pundat, thum desh ka tukda kiya, ek din thumhari juniversity se tukde tukde gang niklega”
Ed jumped & with joy & said “Pundat, hum thumhara janampatri ek pahunche hua saadhu ko dikhaya”, “What did he tell?”, asked Chachaji. “Wo bola, thum smart hota, thumhara daughter clever, grandson naive, grandson ka wife cunning hoga aur great grandson akha chu**a” Ed crackled
“What a wonderful batsman Virat is, yet another century” Mohan exulted. Ed who was too possessive about Chachaji rebuked “Pundat ke saamne Don, Sachin, Virat, Richards, Kallis kahin stand nahin hota, Pundat kal poori raat hamre saath batting kiya aur ek baar bhi out nahin hua”
“After independence, we’d need arms & fighter planes. I’m going to get them from Rafale” Chachaji told Ed. Ed who was in no mood to listen, was on a smooching spree, “Pundat thumhara bandook hi sabse bada hathiyar hota, I just love it” She said & locked her lips with Chachaji’s
Ed giving a peck on Chachaji’s cheek & leaving a deep red mark on it bubbled “Pundat hum aaj karwachauth ka vrat rakha, thhumhare liye”, Chachaji smoking his cigar asked “Who did you get your ‘Sargi’ from?”, “Saargi hum ka Mohan ka wife behen Kasu ne diya” an innocent Ed answered
“Pundat, after you thumko log bhool jaayega”, a worried Ed said. “No darling I’ve made arrangements, Ramu a self proclaimed historian & Saggy, a witch in the disguise of journalist will beat my drum”, Chachaji said. “Pundat, wo dono toh toilet clean karta na”, Ed was astonished
“Pundat, Sardar thum se zyada deserving hota, ussko PM hona maangta”, Ed said with a protest. “Sardar Sardar Sardar, this man gives me headache”, Chachaji was furious. “Pundat thumne Sardar ko beizzat kiya dekhna ek roz ye thhumhara family ka khoon ke aansoo nikaalega” Ed cursed
“So many towers & statues in this World, which one is your favourite?”, Chachaji asked Ed. “Pundat hum akha duniya dekha par thhumhara tower se ooncha koi nahin”, Ed told Chachaji & put her arms around his neck & started kissing him all over with her hands slowly crawling down
Ed lying on the bed screamed “Pundat punish me punish me hard”, Chachaji leaned himself towards Ed & murmured “Ed darling hum tum ka kya punish karega, punishment toh hum ko mila, hamaara statue chaar feet ka aur Sardar ka 182 metres ka”. Chachaji started crying & so did Ed
Chachaji put condoms in his pocket, carried a gift pack & drove to Ed’s house singing “Mai nikla gaddi le ke, raste mein sadak par mod aaya”.
“Happy Diwali darling”, he gave Ed the gift pack. “Ye kya Pundat, Frooti aur Kurkure, hum iss par thookta bhi nahin” Furious Ed blasted
Ed caressing her fingers in Chachaji’s hairy chest asked “Pundat hum firecracker hota toh hamra naam kya hota”, he grinned showing his gold capped tooth & said “Phuljhadi”. Now Chachaji exploring Ed’s body asked the same,”Thum toh akha Rocket hai”, Ed said laughing & looking down
After a knock at the door, Ed opened the door, unbuttoning herself she said “Pundat, achha kiya face mask 😷 pehan kar aaya, pencho pollution”
Her eyes closed, she moaned, “Pundat aaj jindgi ka maja aa gaya ab toh ye saala mask nikalo”, she pulled the mask & screamed “Mohan tum”
“Pundat, ye Tipu kaun hot? Bahut naam sunat rahin isska”, Ed asked while licking cola ice cream. “He is awesome, he is fighting the whole British Army with his sword”, Chachaji said, “Pundat, thum bhi toh apna itna bada sword se ek Britisher ko bas mein kar liya”, Ed said coyly
Ed whispered “Happy Budday, Pundat, aaj hum ek wish deta” Chachaji held her tight, planted a kiss on her lips & asked “Kaun sa wish jaan”. “Thum bachon ko like karta, issliye hamra wish hota, thumhara great grandson body se bada hoga par brain se hamesha bacha rahega”, Ed said
Biting Chachaji’s ears & kissing him, Ed was breathing heavily, feeling horny she said “Pundat, thum ka Birthday par hum thumhare liye cook karega”, Chachaji moving his hand on Ed’s thighs asked “What’d you make”, “Hum sandwich banaayega, thum Mohan ko bulao abhi” Moaning Ed said
It was a winter eve & Ed said “Pundat humko chai mangta” Chachaji called a boy serving tea & got her tea.That boy asked for money but Chachaji refused to pay & abused him, Ed said angirily “Pundat thum chaiwala ko paisa nahin diya, ek chaiwala hi thumhara dynasty ka naash karega”
Once Ed caught Chachaji adventuring with a firang girl. “Pencho Pundat kaun hai ye?”, Ed yelled. “My friend from Italy”, frightened Chachaji replied. Ed took no time to curse “Pundat dekh lena thumhara grandson ek aisich Italian ko bahu banayega aur woh bit** India ko noch legi”
“Where’s Indu, it’s her b’day” asked Ed, “She’s ironing clothes”, Chachaji replied. “Oh Iron Lady” Ed was sarcastic. She continued “Pundat hum isska patri dekha, ye tumka daughter hota lekin hum sach bolta, ye Hitler mafiq dictator banega & she won’t tolerate any man around her”
Ed was furious finding a used condom on Chachaji’s bed “Tum saala mard jaat kabhi nahin sudhrega”, Chachaji clarified “Jaan, Mohan came with a woman, I wasn’t at home” Ed sniffed the condom & apologised to Chachaji.
Years after Ed passed on her power of sniffing to another woman
Phrase ‘Ganga Jamuna tahzeeb’ was coined by Mohan. Once Ed was taking bath at a ghat in Allahabad, Mohan saw her & asked in melody “Mere mann ki Ganga aur tere mann ki Jamuna ka bol Ed bol sangam hoga ke nahin” Ed screamed “NAHIN KABHI NAHIN”. Though later this sangam happened
Coming back from a tour of UP, Ed met Chachaji, she, keeping her head on Chachaji’s broad shoulder said “Ram Kasam Pundat, hum thum ko bahuta miss kiye”, Chachaji kissed her & asked Ed to say those three magical words, Ed bit Chachaji on his lips & said “Mandir Wahin Banayeinge”
An affectionate Chachaji asked Ed “Darling, was it cold last night?”, Ed preparing sandwiches said “Pundat thhand toh bahut tha, par hum kambal ke andar muh mein cigar laga kar so gaya”, “But the cigar pack was in another room”, Chachaji replied.
Both of them chuckled thereafter
Massaging Ed’s back with Navratan, Chachaji asked her “Should one always speak truth?”, Ed turned side & said “Pundat, akhaa world mein koi saccha nahin, par ek wise jhooth bolta toh woh clever hota par jab ek stupid jhooth bolta woh chutiya hota, jaisa thumhara beti ka grandson”
Chachaji kissed on Ed’s juicy lips & greeted her Merry Christmas. Seeing a box of candles, Chachaji asked “Who gave you candles”, horny Ed smooching Chachaji said “Mohan ne diya, par usska candle chhota hota, Pundat thumhara candle bada aur hard hota, jalta bhi zyada der tak”
Chachaji jumped into bed & told Ed “Darling, now TV can be controlled by a remote control” Ed opening buttons of her shirt remain unimpressed & said “Kya thakela purana news diya, Pundat. Ye toh kuch nahin, dekhna ek din Indu ka firangi daughter in law PM ko remote se chalaywga”
It was a chilling cold night, Chachaji entered into his bedroom & found Ed sitting on the bed wiping her body with a small towel. “Darling, don’t you feel cold?”, Chachaji asked. “Pundat, humka thhand nahin lagta kyonki tumhara fountain mein se bahut garam paani nikalta”, Ed said
It was a sunny winter day, Chachaji carrying dozens of condoms took Ed to his big farm away from the city. Lying on the grass, Chachaji asked “Rani, have you ever seen this big Land”, Ed replied “Pundat thumhara Land bahut bada hota, England mein itna bada sirf Queen ko milta”
Playing with Chachalji’s tools, Ed asked “Pundat thum Angrez ka talwa chaata, PM ban gaya, future mein kya hoga tumhara family ka”, Chachaji holding an orange replied “We’d get awards” “Kaun dega frauds ko awards”, Ed asked “We’d give awards to each other” Chachaji said cunningly
Once in a bar, Chachaji blasted on the bar girl when she mistakingly slipped wine on his white coat, he rudely said “You, two penny twaaif, don’t you see you spoiled my French coat” Ed didn’t like it & cursed “Pundat, ek din aisa ayega, ek Bar Bala thumhare ghar ka bahu banega”
Chachaji brought a time machine that took him 60 years ahead of time where he found himself sitting in a bar, there he saw a heavily drunk woman dancing madly, he asked Ed “Who’s she, her face resembles with Indu”, Ed crackled & said “Pundat ye bewadi thumhara granddaughter hota”
Chachaji got worried & asked Ed, “She looks alcoholic, but why has she brought her servant with him, see how he is looking at her”, Ed clarified “Pundat, woh aadmi usska, naukar nahin husband hota, Kisaan hota, bahut bada Land hai isske paas”, Ed replied
A red eyed Chachaji again looked at her inebriated muddled great granddaughter & asked Ed “If she is always high, how’d people of this great nation accept her?”, “Pundat, daaru thumhara khoon mein hota, jaisa thum ko, tumhara beti ko jhela, iss ko bhi jhel lenge”, Ed replied
Chachaji & Ed were sitting in a cheap bar in Pahar Ganj in Delhi when Ed showed him a grown up man drinking milk from the milk bottle. Chachaji asked “Who drinks bournvita milk in a bar? Who is he?” Ed smiling wickedly said “Isska mom yahan dance karta, now you know who he is”
Chachaji teasing Ed, dropped his pants & said “Here’s something I’ve that you’ll never have” Ed didn’t blink an eye, smiled, dropped her skirt & says, “Pundat, thum ka paas toh ek hi hai, humre paas jo hai, iss se jitna chahe utna mil sakta, bhaag bsdk”, Chachaji ran for his life
“Pundat, ek locha ho gaya”, a worried Ed said “What happened Jaan” asked Chachaji,”Kal raat hum Mohan ke ghar fun kiye, par hum galti se Mohan ka dhoti pahne kar aa gaya”, “Desn’t matter”, Chachaji said. “Pundat, humka maalum par skirt mein Mohan kitna funny lagega”, Ed chuckled
Seeing a dumb man screaming “Rafale Rafale chowkidar chor” endlessly, Chachaji asked Ed “Who’s this mor0n?”, Ed laughed & said “Pundat ye Chutiya tum ka great grandson hota”, Chachaji moved angrily to slap him. Ed warned “Issko hit kiya toh PETA activists tum ko chhodega nahin”
“Pundat tum pareshan lagta”, Ed asked. “Among my friends, there’re some nationalists whom I hate but can’t identify”, Chachaji said. “Ye bahut simple hota, unko bulao, hum unka pant down karta aur pata lag jaayega, kaun BC nationalist hota” Ed said. “You Barkha”, Chachaji giggled
“Pundat tum Pakistan kyon banaaya”, Ed asked,”If I didn’t create Pakistan, there wouldn’t be any Hafiz Saeed. Think who would Barkha fall in love with?”, Chachaji replied while massaging Ed’s thunder thighs. “Pundat tum sala ekdum visionary hota”, Ed locked her lips with Chachaji
Outside Ed’s bedroom Chachaji heard “Kundi mat khadkao raja, seedha andar aao raja, mood banao taaja taaja”. He entered & watching hot Ed massaging herself, he got horny but reached climax even before touching her. “Pundat tum sirf showoff hota, dum nahin tumke paas” Shouted Ed
Finding Chachaji look worried, Ed removed her shirt & skirt and asked him the reason “People say Maddy is Dumbo’s dad. I’m confused” Chachaji said scratching own balls. “Pundat hum jaanta wo saala tumhara khoon hota, kyon ki woh bhi tumhare mafiq liar aur shameless hota”, Ed said
Playing with Chachaji’s bat, Ed said “Pundat hum ek mast khabar laya, sunega toh jhanda kadak ho jaayega, Nobel Prize in chutiyapanti bhi milna chalu ho gaya”. “What I’ve to do with it?”, Chachaji asked with oranges in his hand. “Prize thumhara great grandson ko mila”, Ed chirped
“Hum har Itwaar Church jaata, par Pundat thumko kabhi nahin dekha Mandir jaate hue, thum bhagwaan ko nahin maanta?” Ed asked. “Weak people go to temples”, Chachaji said smoking a pipe. “Ek din thum ka great grandchildren mandir ke chakkar lagayega aur sab hasega”, Ed said angrily
“Happy Holi darling”, Chachaji wished Ed with a deep kiss on her lips. “Pundat, happy Holi, aaj hum thum ke saath Holi khelega, ab jaraa apna Pichkaari bahar nikaalo”, Ed was naughty. Chachaji put out his Pichkaari, Ed held it in her hands & said “Jesus kitna bada Pichkaari hai”
“Oh Pundat mere Pundat, aaj ee pikchaari ka sara paani humre upar daal abhi ke abhi daal, hamri pyaas bujha de”, Ed was hot. “Jaaneman, first let me play with your balloons, they are so full & tight”, Chachaji got mad holding two balloons in his hands”, “Oh Pundat”, Ed exclaimed
“Pundat thum space scientist hota, ye batao satellite space kaise jaata?”. Chachaji scratching his balls said “Satellite is launched into space on a rocket, rocket is sent with a force into orbit”. “Pundat humko Satellite bana lo, hum ko apne Rocket 🚀 par bitha lo”, Ed insisted
Sitting in car & holding a tool in her hand, Ed asked Chachaji “Tum scientist, engineer, writer hota, par thumhara pahle achievement kya hota?”. Chachaji driving car & holding an orange in hand said “It was Valentine’s day of 1889 that I taught one ‘Moti the Pearl’ how to fcuk”
“Pundat I almost got choked hamaara throat mein lump feel hua, itna bada ma kasam kahin nahin dekha, England mein nahin, Africa mein bhi nahin, hard & long, par hum ko bahut achha laga”, Ed said after eating banana that Chachaji brought from Kerala specially for her
Ed was very versatile and vibrant woman. Once she posed as a journalist & told Chachaji “Hum non violent Mohan ka liya usska ashram mein, Lahore ja kar Jin ka liya, Lord ka toh liya hi, Baba ka liya, Abdul ka liya par Pundat jaisa interview thum diya, aur koi nahin diya Ma kasam”
Ed was a warm person. Once Chachaji came to her, she asked “Pundat thum chaaye piye ga?”, “Darling first show me your cups, did you get new ones?” Chachaji asked.
“Pundat thumse milne ke baad hum bade cup use karta, ab chhota cups mein chai poora nahin aata”, Ed was shy
“Pundat hum matric tak toh England mein padhai kiya, phir hamra Lord sang lagan ho giya, hum aur padhna maangta, hum kya karun?”, Ed was confused. Chachaji kissed on her wet lips & said “You need to do Inter from UP board”. “Theek Pundat hum Inter course karega”, Ed was relieved
Ed got enrolled in a UP college for Inter. But she was worried & asked Chachaji “Pundat hum idhar kissi ko jaanta nahin thum bhi hamre sang Inter course kar lene ka”, “Pagli I’m much more educated, you’d get many who’d do Inter course with you but yes I’d teach you” Chachaji said
“How your studies going on darling”, Chachaji asked Ed.”Ek dum mast Pundat, hum ko ek non violent Mahatma mila bola hum ka Inter course mein madad karega”, Ed was excited. “Is his name Mohan?” Chachaji asked. “Oh Yes”, Ed replied.
Chachaji scratching his balls fell from the bed
Ed was well equipped with black magic, when she came to know that Chachaji had poisoned his wife to spend time with other women, she cursed “Pundat BSDK ek baat sunne ka, jaisa thum apan wifey ko maara, thhumhara aage ka family ek doosre ko khatam kerega”
She proved right
“Pundat, kal hum cinema dekha”, Ed said. “Which movie darling?” Asked Chachaji. “Andheri Raat Mein Diya Tere Haath Mein”, Ed said. “Who took you for this movie?” A worried Chachaji asked. “Thumhara non violent dost Mohan” Ed said innocently. “Maadar Mohan” Angry Chachaji screamed
“Pundat gussa thookne ka”, Ed tried to console Chachaji. “Why did you go with that pervert?” Chachaji was possessive. “Hum, thum aur Mohan, teeno threesome agla Friday ko phir chalega”, Ed said. “Which movie?”, Chachaji asked. “Tere mere beech mein”, Ed replied jumping with joy
“Pundat, thum married ho kar itna ladeez ke saath relation rakhta. Aisa kyon?”, Ed asked. “Ed Darling, my dad had extramarital affairs, I have & so has my daughter, it’s in our blood”. Chachaji said. “Pundat abhi aage dekha thum ka daughter ki bahu kya kya gul khilata”, Ed warned
Sitting on a dome of the parliament as pigeons, Ed asks Chachaji “Pundat aajkal erection chal raha hai?”
“To me it’s always erection time”, Chachaji says. “Maskhari nahin karne ka, hum poocha chunav ho raha hai” Ed was serious. “Yes Ed darling it’s election time” Chachaji replies
“Pundat kaun banayega sarkaar”, Ed asked. “As long as dikchead dumb Rahu is there, congress can’t win, also he stinks”, Ed covered her nose & said “Pundat sahi bola thum, ye BSDK maadar thum ka naam khrarab kharta, liar thum bhi hota, par jhooth bolne ke liye akal chahiye hota”
“Pundat thum worried lagta”, Ed asked Chachaji kissing him. “Yes I’m worried to see the level of corruption in Congress, do you know how much assets son of a CM possesses?” Chachaji said puffing a cigar. “Kya usska asset humre assets se zyada hota” Ed asked unbuttoning her blouse
Just after partition Chachaji told Ed “India has given Pakistan 75 crore rupees, I don’t know how’d we survive”
“Pundat thum chinta nahin karne ka dekhna ek aisaich time aayega Congress ke MP ek mahina mein 75 crore kamaayega corruption aur scam se”, Ed said. Chachaji hugged Ed
I won’t tell you more but Ed wanted to save our nation and she was the one who started this popular polling campaign. She used to quite often ask Chachaji “Pundat, Button Dabao, Desh Bachao”. Chachaji always listened to her
Ed insisted Chachaji to accompany her to her parental house in Bhatinda, Punjab. Chachaji told her he’d come couple of days later as he was scared of Baldev Singh, Ed’s dad. Chachaji reached there two days later. Ed introduced him to her dad as an old acquaintance from London
To be in his good books Chachaji started going to farms with Baldev Singh. Ed told Chachaji “Pundat, Hamra baap gusse waala hota par dil ka bura nahin hai”. Ed & Chachaji used to meet in farms. Ed had a small room in her farms where they used to have fun
Once Ed was dressed in a Punjabi attire that Chachaji danced & sang “Kaali teri gut tei paraaanda tera Lal ni”, Ed teased him “Lumbergini challaye jaande ho saanu vi jhoota de deyo kithe kalle kalle jaaye jaande ho”. As they were having fun, Baldev Singh saw them
He yelled “Ye kya randikhaana hai”. As usual Chachaji peed in his pants. Baldev called local goons who beat Chachaji black & blue. Chachaji was asked to leave. Just when Chachaji boarded in a train, Ed cried “Hum Pundat ke bina nahin reh sakta, hum Pundat maangta”, she pleaded
Baldev Singh after all was a loving dad. He freed Ed & with tears in his eyes he said “Ja ji le apni jindgi Ed, Chachaji se zyaada tere ko koi nahin chah sakta, Mohan bhi nahin”.
Coming back to Ed’s education, Ed was enrolled in a UP college for Inter. After results were out she went to Chachaji jumping with joy, gave him a petha mithai & told him “Hum pass ho gaya Pundat, hum inter course poora kar liya”.
“Not a big deal Ed darling, everyone is inter here”, Chachaji was indifferent. Ed got extremely angry “Pundat bencho kya bolta not a big deal, idhar saala padh padh ke chashma lag gaya aur thum bolta not a big deal”
She continued “Indu ke paas toh facilities hota, woh bhi matric pass hota. Aur Indu ka bada pota, kya naam hota, haan Clown, woh to kabhi inter course nahin kiya phir bhi foreign se degree liya, chutiya kissi aur ko banaane ka”

That night Chachaji had to use his hands
“Pundat, thumse koi Bheema milna maangta ek bada sa book hai usska paas”, Ed said. Chachaji who was cooking beef said “Ed, get me my gloves, Bheema belongs to low caste”
“Tum saala dharam ke naam par desh baanta ab jaat par baant raha, tumko janta maaf nahin kerega” Ed was angry
Chachaji & Ed were having a boat ride. Chachaji screamed “There is a hole, water on boat”, He yelled “Help help, Indu, Bhima, Mohan, save us”. Ed was not scared, she said “Ye nahin aaneke, Pundat”, Chachaji scared a hell asked “Who’d come then?”
“Aayega toh Modi hi”, She giggled
“Pundat aaj thum ka aur humka affair ka anniversary hai. Yaad hai thum hum se kab mila tha?”, Ed asked. “Ed darling how could I forget, I met you when I formed FIFA & you came there with Queen & Lord” Chachaji said. “Pundat Thank you thum World Cup soccer laaya” Ed kissed him
On a Vistara flight Chachaji, Ed & an ugly lady journo were going to Bombay. Chachaji was sitting in the middle seat & women on each side. Chachaji was busy in his routine activity publicly. An army General sitting near stood up & slapped Chachaji yelling “Ye kya ra***khana hai”
Kissing & making rings of Chachaji’s hair, Ed told him “Pundat thum personal hairstylist kyon kar nahin rakhta, sab bade log rakhta”, “But I’m bald”, Chachaji said. “Pundat hum sar ke baal ki baat nahin karta”, Ed smiled & plucked couple of hair. Chachaji screamed out of pain
“Pundat thumhara jaisa hum ko bhi grassy pitches pasand hai, par jab grass bahut zyada ho jaata, bat ball ussmein chhup jaata iss vaaste trimming karaana maamgta”, Ed advised. Chachaji acted on her advice & immediately appointed some Hab as his personal hairstylist
Ed kissed Chachaji on his smoke stained lips & said “Pundat ye dekho phone mein, ye pic dekh kar thumhara daang phat jaayega, Mudi ka Kashi roadshow mein kitna crowd”, Chachaji put a hand on his back & said “Pencho so much people didn’t came even on first PMs first I-Day speech”
“Pundat, koi dukh hota joh tum ko khai jaata”, Ed asked. “Yes Ed I’m unable to understand one thing Pencho. I don’t recognise who is my great grandson & granddaughter? They are same in looks & so low in intelligence” Ch replied. “Pundat don’t bother both are failures”, Said Ed
“Pundat thum jail gaya tha?”, Ed asked. “Ed darling, it was a show off, just to fool Indians, I’d all the facilities there”, Chachaji said puffing cigar. “Isska matbal tum Indians ko paagal banaaya, ek din tumhara great grandson jail jaayega aur usska dhulai bhi hoga”, Ed cursed
“Do you remember that bungalow in Allahabad where you used to come to meet me & we spent many night together”, Chachaji asked Ed. “Pundat hum ko yaad hai, bahut masti kiya hum thum”, Ed said sipping wine. “Darling that was the JAIL”, Chachaji laughed. “Rascal saala”, Ed said
“Pundat humra weight badh gaya hum dieting karega”, Ed was health conscious. “What’d you eat?” Chachaji asked. “Pundat Banana kaayega hum, thumhare ghar mein banana hota?”, Ed asked. “You don’t need fo go anywhere to find banana, it’s here”, Chachaji pulled Ed inside the quilt
“Pundat, itna hard banana hum kahin nahin dekha, England mein bhi nahi”, Ed was playing with banana. “Jaise hum issko touch kiya ye bada ho gaya”, Ed was having a good time. “Ed, just like you love banana, I love mangoes”, Chachaji said. “Pundat, pencho naughty”, Ed giggled
Ed got angry after watching Chachaji’s groping young kids, she asked him “Pundat, aisa treat karta kya kids ko? Sharam aana chahiye tum ko”, “Ed I love kids”, Chachaji clarified. “Pundat you love kids is important but more important is if kids love you too”, Ed spoke in English
“Pundat tum kidhar gaya tha hum tum ko bahut miss kiya”, Ed asked complainingly. “I had gone to the UN office, I told the UN to declare Masood Azhar a terrorist & they agree”, Chachaji said kissing Ed’s lips. “Oh Pundat tum kitna mahaan hota”, Ed exclaimed in pleasure
Once during the act, Chachaji was pushing & pumping hard & Ed was moaning. Soon he was exhausted completely & asked “Ed I’m done with, have you come?”, Ed making weird sounds still groaning screamed “Pundat Aayega toh Modi hi”. Chachaji disappeared in a fraction of a second
Fitness freak Chachaji took Ed to a Yoga class. After the session, Ed said “Pundut hum kitna achha Sheersh Asan kiya guru ji aur Mohan bas hum ko dekhta raha”. “Stupid, they were watching you because for the first time they saw a woman wearing a short skirt perform sheersh asana”
Once Ed asked Chachaji “Pundat hum bahut thirsty hota, humra pyaaas bujha do, bolo kab aayun?” Chachaji told philosophically “At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, my snake will awake to life, it will grow, expand and you’d tame it”, Ed was flattered
“Mohan is becoming a big nuisance”, Chachaji was stressed. “Pundat thum saala kuch karta kyon nahi, ye thum ko paisa nahin khaane de ga”, Ed was worried too. “I’ve a plan, I know a man named Nat, he can finish him”, Chachaji looked cunning. “Pundat ussko supaari dene ka” Ed said
Ed playing with Chachaji’s bat asked “Pundat thumhara koi opposition nahin hota jab thum koi blunder karta, jo thum aksar karta?”, Chachaji smiled & answered “Ed, when I do any blunder, I write a resignation letter to myself, then I read it & tear it off”, “Rascal saala”, Ed said
Reborn as pigeons, Ed & Chachaji were sitting on a pillar of the parliament when Ed told Chachaji “Pundat, tum se chonch milata hua hum soch raha, Children’s day to aaj hona maangta”, “Why?” Chachaji asked. “Kyonki aaj ka din sab bacha logon ko thumse ajaadi mila tha” Ed laughed
Ed came to know about the disease Chachaji was suffering from, she asked him “Pundat, ye disease toh sambhog se hota, hum ko toh aisa kuch nahin hua, thumko kyon hua?”, Chachaji watching pics in Playboy magazine said “Ed darling, I’m non violent & you know who is my best friend”
“Aila, Pundat toh kya thum non violent Mohan ke saath bhi?, hum sochta thum straight hota” Ed was shocked. “Ed darling, don’t be shocked, you know I’m straight but may be my non violent friend isn’t & I want to be the PM & it can’t happen without his consent”, Chachaji explained
Ed was a very hot & passionate woman, once during the act with Chachaji she screamed “Pundat, choke me choke me”, Chachaji was a witty man, he replied “Let’s finish this act, I’d choke you sometime later”. Ed chuckled & said “Pundat, you saala rascal”
Chachaji gathered courage & told Ed “Ed darling, I need to tell you with a very heavy heart that I’m suffering from a sexually transmitted disease. Ed looked into her eyes, smiled & replied “Stupid Pundat, thum kya siochta tha, hum thum ko love karta hai. Humra mission poora hua”
Chachaji was kissing Ed passionately, suddenly Ed screamed. “What happened?”, Chachaji asked. “Grey hair”, Ed said. “Darling but I don’t have any hair”, Chachaji said. “Pundat BC, neechay dekhne ka”, Ed said. “Damn it, I coloured them but this one left out”, Chachaji apologised
Ed unbuttoning her blouse and reading tweets of people arguing over cricketers said “Pundat ye log stupid hota, ye nahin jaanta thum se great koi cricketer nahin hota, thum apna heavy long bat se English wet pitch par jo batting kiya koi nahin kar sakta, aaj ek match aur khelo”
After India lost to England, Ed asked Chachaji “Pundat batao hum ka India match kyon haar gaya?”, Chachaji counter asked “Darling you tell me”, Ed riding over Chachaji laughed & replied “Pundat India lost kyonki India ka best player toh hamre saath khel raha na ki India ke saath”
“Pundat thum Hindustan ka tukda kyon karta, hamra dil mein dard hota”, Ed said with tears in her eyes. “Ed darling this is due to Jin & Mohan. Jin couldn’t find parking space so he demanded a separate country & Mohan agreed”, Chachaji explained. “Saale maadar”, Ed said angrily
Ed danced learning there’s a possibility of India England final in the WC. She kissed Chachaji & asked “Pundat, agar thum India aur hum England toh tum kya karega”, Chachaji puffing cigar said “Ed, that case we’d hit sixes on the wet pitches of England with our heavy loaded bats”
Chachaji kissing her belly asked Ed “Don’t you think Federer is the best player on grass?”, Ed letting her apples float free said “Pundat, Federer good player hota par thum uss se achha khelta green grass par, tum ka racquet balls ko control karta. Ab jaldi khelo hamri grass par”
Ed confessed that ‘Nadal’ was never a world in her dictionary. She candidly told Chachaji “Pundat him Federer fan hota, hum thumhare dost log, Mohan, Jin, Abdu, Bhima ke saath soya, hum kisi ko bhi Nadal nahin bola, lekin love hum sirf thum ko kiya”. Chachaji cried listening it
Chachaji & Ed went to an adventure trip. Equipped with hunting guns, mountaineering boots & loads of condoms, they stopped in a tent to get some rest. “Wd we find tiger?”, Chachaji asked. “Manne toh mhara tiger bhi mil gaya aur ek foot ka snake bhi”, Ed said jumping over Chachaji
“Hum ka bhookh lagat, kuch order karne ka”, Ed said. Chachaji ordered food from Zomato but then he told Ed that he’d to cancel the order. “Pundat aisa kyon”, Ed asked. “Ed, delivery boy’s name is Bhim & you know we’re upper caste people”, Chachaji said making rings out of smoke
Combing underarm hair of Chachaji, Ed asked “Pundat Khashmir mein Article 370 kya hota?”, “I’m the Kingmaker & my men wd rule it”, Chachaji said sipping wine. “Pundat thum itna arrogant hota, ek Gujarati aayega aur thumhara aur thumhara family ka supda saaf karega”, Ed predicted
Making tattoo of Christ on Chachaji’s bald head, Ed asked “Pundat jab tumhra party ka supra saaf hoga, tumka family kya karega”, Chachaji said “Someone wd become President”, “Rubbish, uska liya centre mein ajority hone ka”, “I’m talking of becoming Party President”Chachaji smiled
Ed was a curious lady. Once she asked Chachaji “Pundat ye saala thumko Father of Nation hona maangta, laathi waala ko nahin”, Chachaji puffing cigar asked “Why”, Ed replied “Kyonki hum ek sher suna
Saara kayanat chachaji par hua meharbaan
jis gali se wo nikla sab bola abba jaan”
Ed holding Chachaji’s pillar in her hand asked him“Pundat, Maha aur Haryana election mein kya lagta thumko” Chachaji sucking her juicy lips said “Ye chutiya hamra naam poora mitti mei mila diye”, Ed interrupted & said “Saala Pundat, don’t you think you’re mixing too many things?”
Once Chachaji & Ed were playing with each other when lights went off & it was dark. Chachaji asked Ed to get a candle from other room. Ed went & said loudly “Pundat, bed par bahut bada thick hot candle pada hai”, Chachaji screamed “Ed come back, it’s Mohan sleeping on that bed”
“Pundat, ab toh India azaad ho gaya phir bhi saala thum worried lagta”, Ed asked Chachaji. “There is still one hurdle left & he is Mohan, he knows my secrets”, Chachaji replied. “Pundat phir thum kya karega”, asked Ed. “Ed, I’ve given supaari to a guy named Gids”, Chachaji smiled
After spending a fabulous night with Chachaji, in the morning Ed was reading newspaper when she said “Pundat, duniya khatam ho jaayega, Corona”, Chachaji who was still in bed screamed “You bloody tharki lady, I’m breathless & tired after 3 shots & you’re still asking me corona”
Ed was a curious woman. He asked “Pundat, quarantine kya hota, ismein kya karta”. An obedient Chachaji took her to a luxurious farm house, spent a day with her. On the way back a happy Ed said “Pundat agar ye quarantine hota toh hum ko phir se jaana maangta quarantine mein”
Ed told Chachaji “Pundat, Modi ne appeal kiya Sunday ko candle light karna, hum bhi karega”. “But Ed darling, you don’t have candles, what’d you do?”, Chachaji asked. “Hum thumhara candle le ga, dekho kitna bada aur hot hota”, Ed said holding Chachaji’s candle in her hands
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