Here’s a thread of old game ads for no real reason

Some of these are a real trip

This one’s fascinating because it’s a riff on the Speed poster—a movie from 9 years prior.

Even fewer bother trying at all

I really dig the pun

One of my all time favorites

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what

Ok technically not a video game, but posting it cause I can’t stop laughing at Fake Marty and Doc

Jeez

The Nintendo Cereal System! “If you can’t beat ‘em, eat ‘em.” Hmm

There are 162,720 frames in the Total Recall movie and they chose this one

Let’s mix it up with a couple of cool ones from the two Golgo 13 NES games

This one’s a whole new level of Bad

I’d be remiss if I didn’t share the Daikatana ad, probably the biggest gaming flop of all time. For the record, John Romero hated this ad too.

This one’s fun

Started this thread ages ago and am just now posting the Clash at Demonhead ad, sorry

Here’s Ice Cube telling you to buy a Sega Saturn

Um

Here’s an ad for Sunset Riders and also beans I guess

HELL YES

This Phantasmagoria ad is really effective; it sells both the horror and cinematic aspects of the game.

“GROUND BREAKING,” reads an ad for a game absolutely no one on this Earth remembers

This one’s an ad for a butt *squints* sorry, this one’s an ad for a video game. Apparently.

“The ones that have butts?” Wait do some Pokémon not have butts? WHICH ONES DONT HAVE BUTTS

Big talk from a game that’s almost completely unplayable. Also, the ad gets its own game title wrong (it’s Final Bout, not “the” Final Bout)

What on Godzilla’s green Earth is happening to this kid

Also, “compact size??” That thing’s bigger than the entire Genesis console, my dudes

I have nothing witty to say about this one. It just flat out sucks.

Here’s another ad that opted to bash competing products, because the product in question was lacking. Fun fact: There are ~73 Lynx games and an absurd 1049 Game Boy games. *Not* counting Game Boy Color! Also the Lynx was gigantic and clunky to hold.

More evidence of Boba Fett’s complete ineptitude—he’s like one (1) foot away from Luke and he managed to miss. As usual. Note Luke’s “why I oughtta” face. Also note how bad this game was.

The Spawn SNES game was odd; it was decidedly PG when compared to the comic. It was better than you’d think, too! Not *much* better, but it’s solid.

Here’s an ad for the first Street Fighter, featuring a torso, I guess.

This ad for the NES Bionic Commando featured...a picture of the box. Not an action scene, or like Rad Spencer in a heroic pose? Nope. The game box.

I started this thread over a year ago and I still don’t understand games marketing in the 90s. Just...it’s fine, I’m fine.

Actually not a bad ad! But we all know how the game turned out, don’t we

Here’s the famous Iron Sword ad featuring Fabio. The dude you play as doesn’t look like this at all you’re fully clothed in the game). Game was ok. Nice change of pace from the usual sexist game ads with half-naked women though.

Advertising executive: Yeah this is probably fine, kinda looks like Sonic the Hodgeheg, print it

This is the worst one in the whole thread, I’m sorry for this.

There’s another RE ad in this thread that’s an eyeball in a jar, and like what’s with all the eyeballs

This was the expectation when you bought one of these handhelds as a kid. The reality was...not this.

There are a *lot* of old, gross Game Boy ads like this. A LOT.

Christmas ad today, merry christmas

HIGH POWERED GREETINGS

Hey same to you, Doom 64

“A virtual nightmare” sounds like a terrible review tbh

This Zelda OOT ad promises a level of gore the game super didn’t deliver on, and it’s all in Ye Olde English while the game...isn’t.

WHY ARE SO MANY OF THESE ADS LIKE THIS

Ad for the little-known Lord of the Rings SNES game; it was kind of a Zelda-like that wasn’t very fun.

“The biggest, baddest RPG to ever hit the N64!” Of course it was—it was one of the ONLY RPGs to ever hit the N64. It was really good, too.

Not to get all Nintendo fanboy here, but the SNES library (across all regions) ended up being nearly double the Genesis’. Still, a moderately effective ad representative of the console wars climate of the day.

Terrible ad because that logo makes it look like the name of the game is Harvest Body (it’s Body Harvest), but no one played this anyway, so. (It was ok at best)

Ok technically not a game ad, but this one makes me sad cause like...literally all of us outgrew Toys R Us, when you think about it.

I mean...good? I’m playing as Superman; I don’t want kryptonite included.