I'm going to be serious for a second. As an autistic person, you know what one of the worst things i can be called? It's not retard, idiot, stupid anything like that. It's creepy.

The idea of seeming creepy hurts a lot. Occasionally i try to embrace it but then when someone acts like I'm unconfortable or creepy because of things often caused by autism it hurts. A fucking lot.

I've been seen as and called creepy for obsessing over most of my things. I was seen as creepy because i combined my si for neopets with natural young edginess. I obsessed over edgy neopets. I creeped my friends out.

Around year 7 and 8 i developed a special interest of crime, cults, detective stories.... this is what led onto my conan si. I creeped people out a lot. People used to make jokes about how i would deliberately try to murder a classmate cuz i was 'obsessed with murder'

I was usuallty quiet, anyway. I mostly just read books on crime and drugs and new age religions in a quiet corner of the library. It was all because of one story i made.

In english we had to write short stories about horror. I wrote mine about a cult. I thought it fit in pretty well, but after that my classmates would not leave me alone about how creepy i was. I had to move tables because everyone made comments about how I'd grow up and murder.

It hurt a lot. Maybe it was edgy! But i didn't pester people to talk about torture! I just had this creepy and awkward autistic look and people would then never leave me alone about it even after my autism stopped being so edgy

They only stopped when they learnt it was funner to send me into meltdowns over my phobias. But that's beyond the point.

Later i got called creepy by an old friend. I had a special interest for south park. Thry saw me as creepy for my obsession. Becausr of my obsession.

And i cannot count how much i get called creepy or people act tgat way because my autism chose bugs as an obsession. I feel ashamed honestly talking about my interests because theyll think I'm creepy for how much i love bugs.

Because of my autism too, I communicate best through talking about facts. I struggle to make connections with people without trying to teach or expose to new things. Normal conversation can be difficult so if i start struggling i reach for facts.

But then, what facts can i tell? One of my strongest fact sets is about cockroaches. My family think my obsession with roaches is disgusting.

I often wonder if i could communicate and like as a normal human being if people wouldnt see me as a disgusting creature instead of a human. I hate obsessing because i either become cringy or creepy.

I was also considered creepy because i cannot empathise well. I don't understand funerals. I don't do or say anything bad. I once vented about my issues with not understanding mourning on tumblr and got called awful and disgusting for it.

Normal conventional classmates would write projects on murder and wouldn't be seen as creepy but if i showed any interest i was because of how i act due to autism. It's really transparent.

I don't know where I'm going w this. Dont call me creepy and please consider why obsession is automatically equated as a bad thing.