THREAD

I get accused of misogyny fairly frequently. Which is a funny place to be for a woman in her 50s and a lifetime feminist. I see what is happening, and I can well understand it, too, but it also wears on me, and I'm not going to be shushed with this accusation. 1/10

When I was in high school, I had to petition to take a class -- it was for "boys only". It was presumed girls were not able -- NOT ABLE -- to do that work. (Mechanical drawing. We were, of course, required to take home ec classes. Not boys; strict division.) 2/10

When I was in college, I had to work around my OWN advisor, and figure out everything for myself without his help; he didn't think "girls" should be in the college at all, and certainly NOT in his Computer Science classes! A selective school; I received NO curricular advice. 3/10

After college, in my first permanent position, I had to remind my manager, after he promoted a male co-worker, that my work was at same level and we had started at same time. He expedited my promotion THEN but he had literally not realized this until I pointed it out. 4/10

So is sexism real, and a problem, and something I've run into time after time after time? Yes! (And those above are a mere few examples among many for me over the years.)

BUT...

5/10

It was a male teacher that went to bat for me, to convince mechanical drawing teacher that girls should be allowed. He was also the one that encouraged me to apply to colleges better than I ever would have dreamed of, wrote recommendation I'm certain was key to acceptances. 6/10

It was male college professor that pushed me, showed me I could do CSci work. Hired me to be a TA for him. Another male professor went out of his way to ask me why females didn't ask questions in his class, concerned him very much. He wanted us engaged, not intimidated. 7/10

A man hired me summers before and after my senior year of college, my first and best mentor. He made sure I had opportunities to do work that got presented and published, was key reference to my getting hired into a permanent position in a new group forming at the company. 8/10

I worked in a male-dominated field. I ran into sexism in every place I worked and in countless other situations. But I also worked with so many men - the vast majority --who treated me precisely as an equal. Called ME to convince me to work in new places w/ them. MY friends. 9/10

I KNOW sexism. But I also know how many men are allies, not adversaries. I will not run from defending them when they deserve it. They would -- they DID -- do the same for me. So no. It is not "internalized misogyny" when I defend a man. That is unfair. (And, IMO, sexist!) 10/10