:: my playlists and the meanings behind them ::

my favourite songs on earth, also my very first playlist - i think - which keeps changing all the time. sort of like 'current favourites and old time ones' https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/42u7TPme8Nf8ss95iPvR1f?si=NJhgYvG9QSyH2x4o8CMdLg

being afraid. also learning to face your fears as you go.

a bunch of strange, a bit creepy tunes https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/73hN7OwRYeHSVhJCaf6OXv?si=RUdmBvt-Q_67tWA_voti2Q

for when your make out partner likes to listen to playlists when kissing, too https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/1HvAWvVx0121URtyHR2XNv?si=bGthJgz9S9WHGe-a2fGvwA

made the second someone broke up with me to cheer me up. my best friend at the time helped making it but most of those songs are gone i think.

songs that sound fun or remind you of good times https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/2QQRxSkJaf5qDct9ZCrXzW?si=dRRBe5FxTrW9GwyBOeudfg

all/some songs from four unrelated girl-singers i adore

bea miller, billie eilish, dodie, taylor swift https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/7BuCHmayzLNlda9W8Ytpp3?si=VQQ2CwbyT-mUdilWEqiRKg

for my book. this playlist was made because every chapter is based on a song/two/three. it's almost ready for the whole book as ive planned everything ahead but still adding more!

book - guilty of devotion [phan au] https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/20zeD6aa5xEFmBSxXZbNU4?si=_r9iHuM3RCu-jvtTVSU3vQ

closure on how it is to be transgender. mixed between ftm/mtf & nonb.

obviously, for everyone's it isn't as described but this is the closest i could compare to my experiences & others' i know https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/01rPVpzsUJpEG9NpGhQbnE?si=JrnULdueTEWpZQdGPzNdJA

you're so perfect yet so simple. perhaps that's how perfection works, you can not expect unique from it.

songs that sound/are old mixed with very modern ones https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/3kwcdmsMjUHXU7J4n5yAHB?si=z-3I6dg-Qh-DbZ3j4rSnHg

for someone i'm going to love but who isn't my lover yet. a non existent person, for now. living in the shadows somewhere.

i haven't had a crush in sooooo long and wanted to dedicate a love playlist to someone but didn't have anyone to https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/4Wum7L3rIUFhtbZLDpC2zA?si=MjmJd4qQSpy9TB-2a_Vjpg

so! edgy! no but rlly these songs are fucking amazing and they're not even that shady, they simply represent my taste in music perfectly that some ppl may dislike.

used to be called 'don't' bc i was sick of listening to someone hurt me; desired a release https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/32nDWDhKUWSruzX2nhP10z?si=kzrJy85wRD2Xl-83HhYAdg

'why did i waste all my 11:11 wishes on you if you left me too soon'. at times wishing something isn't worth it, as satisfying as you assumed.

some ppl used to listened to this for when they felt panicky or wanted to fall asleep. never tried it.
https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/7yB5miPvQlvY7APehfwb0B?si=-aSYkHLuTsaDzWKSa_swzg

realising my personality, which i always had bold and certain, has vanished. i've become another grey ego who's going against his truth, unable to find myself.

for searching the colours for your life. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/6w5yL1YI1RrgNVN61ByFXx?si=dH6yOfhgQImvW_BapLZiBw

the story of stydia [stiles & lydia from teen wolf] that needs to be listened to in the right order!

if you're a massive shipper throughout the seasons like i am, you might cry https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/6lwNd6QL05mcLkZ821kkWj?si=-6IKkEosQu2-xMbANYTqtw

when i was crushing on someone adorable, i became adorable, too. wrote a love song for her birthday, made a playlist and overwhelmed her with compliments.

this one i made for when i finally got the courage to confess, to explain how i feel towards her. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/3ZxQVbr4Bgt1ij9nlJlF1V?si=TjjgDej7QOCIvVDp0eZuRQ

truly odd songs i/others listen to when they're high

this one's sooo good for any occasion though i promise https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/5c3wIMKjAozqaRIcBgWclL?si=UY6i0LHzSsWh0Q1OT4zmSQ

a story about two times i fell for my best friend mixed together. and how it's not smart.

half of it is me @ them and the other them @ me

'im not pushing this cause it would push you away' https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/5EgJli5FKX0MZjXdB0cHHL?si=r7rNTU3BQHax8kOgK7vcYA

sacrificing yourself for others when you're the most important person in your life

ever feel like 'i would jump for you but would never let you jump too'? the toxicity behind it is real & i felt it incredibly when making this piece https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/0ENGojSEwC0j53PSpbhc0S?si=EDw2GD3ETzKjIjD-zzqzcw

friends. not lovers. maybe a little bit. both?!

passive aggressive because oh im so confused https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/1BYVbcZqNVM2ZgnMhX9W8m?si=AHSfNmm2SZSgiYVbcsRCpg

songs that give me awful dissociation but they also pass the only fine nostalgia i can deal with as i'm a person who loathes nostalgia with passion https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/3GTrwghMtsNbvp00qtoVBZ?si=r0m-TI9NQ9qvpJdLWomIeQ

all the shade; the part of a break up when you feel ugh towards the person for a moment. but then get so happy you broke up so you could learn to be alone all over again, to stop hurting as much. and swiftly, let go of the whole thing. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/2PZJdRDyWp9PvYEXjl5Bqp?si=s63K9hWbQBa-bmw65tx-7w

a while ago my course mate helped me come to a conclusion that i don't listen to my old fav bands, fav genre anymore.

so these hundreds of songs i consider indie although most of the artists aren't really. but they fit the feeling. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/6ZW8E5SJ11fiFc3N7npDrk?si=KFvErxCbSledAif9RpzE0g

you're young. your heart breaks every two seconds, you can party without being judged, you don't have to worry about the Real adult struggles yet.

why don't you fucking enjoy it while you can https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/5Lm6UMQLKPx7QV2lKep4nk?si=aAFKYxodSb6gukBF5bS8eg

sober, these drowning sober thoughts.

i'm not that easy, i'm a maze and words wouldn't make you understand. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/5ilHFyQVrecjm32C2JI7Nr?si=OMBz1aGYSvC_VaRljFwNxw

get drunk to forget how much you've hurt them.

not recommended though ^ https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/6QN6IFkcdHZ7lU2P3XhnZf?si=tqKI2exBRz-NeKsEPEYpVA

shade no. 3 i guess. how is this different?

well we're still whatever we are but i want to end it, i can't stand you because we're disconnecting & our link has broken. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/4GWAjqJUk3J9jUIqjp6bTf?si=f0pu7ruzQcW23QFechyQgw

had a horrible dissociation attack @ school, i ran away from the class with just my phone, thankfully, & hid in a straicase that noone uses. where i understood that to get rid of DR, i need to hurt myself.

as teenwolf taught me, pain makes us human again. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/0KFYHCUvgszJJb9Sfo0fPU?si=M6KPIxdASI-5s0aCnFdaRA

being young makes you cry a lot.

a calming one. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/4GeBOn9cuz2CDbquGrbkxj?si=W-lcCSvvTq2ocOH7N771SA

an ongoing playlist about dan and phil's connection that i don't have motivation to make so i abandoned it even before i stopped being a demon https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/7vnxqJuzgQvuZ97vjIplyM?si=WBBB45LOTqGJITyrFjOUdw

damn i sure like to throw shade as indirects, call me a horrible guy.

~you ignore me on purpose? well, don't assume i'm ok to be played around with ~

my old best friend & i put so much effort making the icon i'm still laughing about how extra that was. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/7wzIeYNpg3Dg8YrwP4kw2t?si=Rh7FIOkMRZOGd15y5zTG-Q

falling in love and understanding that it's love for the first time. should i like you the way i do? https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/2hs1OZUowhBBj9B4CMMbvy?si=07RIzeQRTbqegOVIKwb7Ug

maybe maybe maybe. so much overthinking but really, YOU weren't enough for me and everything That went wrong wasn't just my fault. fyi. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/1fRHpQQTLfvM3IB0TsiZLc?si=zn3VaUrUQ5Wnl7G0Yq-l0A

you fucked me over and ruined what i had. you literally ruined my health.

@ my old bullies who tried to apologise to me by bullying me even more afterwards https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/7wAuYl17yEdpTOjImCT6Vb?si=j-qM9wSMRnOsGSDKN19u9A

you're broken and i am too but two wrongs doesn't always make it right

mostly hiphop/rap songs. genres i don't listen to on a daily basis but tend to enjoy. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/2h2zb4Sksv2RDv7BcD5mlX?si=cPKJUvuzQ06-4QTbetir1w

sorry that i happened to fall for something that meant to happen but we were too tired for it to work.

made after a break up i had, which destroyed me into pieces. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/0GFxHIJZoLNDCW9IV2VJyx?si=6uXntjorRNayIDZ3ko6dow

in the end, those who promised eternal support, aren't there for you when in need.

in latvian we call it 'aplauziens', it's when you expect something but the result disappoints you https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/2kj3f8db42DDSSBU1EBYho?si=xXbuDrGeQMycQvI6y5QBdQ

a heartbroken playlist about ryden [ryan ross & brendon urien from panic!]

let's settle down in seattle :((((((((( also check out the icon :( https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/2v5KpXF54fhXWIEq8uou5M?si=G6cla--XRXOnOymG5aETLQ

reuniting with someone i may have [not sure as i was so young] been in love with an eternity ago after Two Years. remembering all of our shared past. twenty fifteen. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/6mpc9y0NIbawkhkD97nKf3?si=iFUp0ML0TZy1anl-Krt3iQ

save me save me save me i'm so scared and ripped apart but you find my tears. lovely.

you love to see me in pain. perhaps you're some fucked up person who feeds on hurting others. we'll never know now. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/39Lp6AA6xXsko5Vd5WHatF?si=5q83xBmsQfOW0bkGPUsfkg

i am nothing yet i feel everything.

how overwhelming it is to be a human.
https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/09iFjj4x24vkibzx5xAuAU?si=HQaxbX1SQfm-Pp-pe0zs5w

fell in love with you. felt alive for a moment. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/2Wn6MfkQ7cm0pOIx4NRPRb?si=uIZ7U58SS8OsUwHnyzQITw

im not pathetic but with pathetic tendencies to waste my life bitching over what's unimportant. https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/1q4xUE47bhC1EdDsVtfjcA?si=-teAXJj6SdSdN3prstEfwA

i'm fucked up. are you ready to cure me? no? well not like i didn't Not set my expectations too high
https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/13kaeOWH5cdmF7RziGwCPp?si=LbZAk4h4T6-1jPrpFiIOCQ

boo boo yeah well im so broken and numb but stop being such a headass and perceive the hurt of others jesus christ https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/51wrwPbxQDyTfjYPgSIuz0?si=B_9Bb213SEie0S_9Ra6adA

what if it's worth for you to live another day?
https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/2FS3qLRETAUwr5mqXi2K8E?si=fBIhubVIQ8Wvh4Fq10gtMA

sleep through the breakdown and expect a bright sunshine hitting your face in the morning. because you survived it. you got through. you get to see more of this.

i'm so fucking proud of you.
https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/0zG7ONV8gkjvdP4TvCuYCz?si=Scd-u5lXRnuOZdRIw8t-zw

you came unexpectedly and were gone in my eyes as soon as you let the words fall out of your mount.

not so delightful to have known you anymore.
https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/5r2Yahz4ZvhFpIoo9imKA3?si=Iroq3FMbQnS_9Kozgslzuw

some of my favourite artists put all together <3
https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/7KZv69u6dFaCSYXTu6lPBJ?si=jw2r9nOSTYuawpdLyAuaYQ

reminders of all the people who have broken my heart, whether platonically or because of feelings.

songs we both listened to and associated with one other.
https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/3Fj70Lmr0w1RTFkuwDx7CB?si=FeZCPG5dQnSDTLJD3pDv0Q

as if there weren't oceans beneath your eyes already
https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/5TQ1YaxjUcBKaQPlsywSqQ?si=DezHqXwIS1-rMTghHg1wwg

the night it all changed and i can't stop seeing you differently since.
https://open.spotify.com/user/aliloves5sos/playlist/3biNzC1qdjDu5SrwoDNMbW?si=1Eub8YUZRKOESc_i3tEdHw

songs i listened to when i was a kid https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2F3IipCmJB9d9XkMNjkHnM?si=csdvllgPT-GBPWXvT9O-gg

you help me feel safe and sound but when you're gone, i'm a mess https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7mSQAym6RRRy5SwdPV7Fuc?si=e1UZG5oTQ5ufngIfkV_c0g

songs that make me derealized https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3GTrwghMtsNbvp00qtoVBZ?si=sHdypqfaQGSkt744IaQg0A

evak from skam https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6jZS9tgUTagZVnZiTaos27?si=GmMcVVrHSiGur2EcilNXHw

songs that remind me of my hometown https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJTJlRWs9bJMX0jQ1RNc0?si=rT1YlT4-SO23XnKzZsmaDQ