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How to interact with people online
Here’s the scenario. You want to make friends with somebody that you’ve never interacted with. So you initiate the following conversation:
You: hi
Them: hello
You: how are you?
Them: good, you?
You: good
*no response*
Here’s the scenario. You want to make friends with somebody that you’ve never interacted with. So you initiate the following conversation:
You: hi
Them: hello
You: how are you?
Them: good, you?
You: good
*no response*
Let’s analyze every line of text, shall we?
You: hi
You know, this greeting gets a lot of flack from people because it’s the preferred greeting for conversations that go this way, but as long as you get the conversation going somewhere quickly, I think it’s acceptable.
You: hi
You know, this greeting gets a lot of flack from people because it’s the preferred greeting for conversations that go this way, but as long as you get the conversation going somewhere quickly, I think it’s acceptable.
But instead of just opening with “hi,” why not just let them know what caught your eye? Something like, “hey there! I’ve seen your photography pop up in my feed a few times, and it always makes my day when it does!”
That gives them more to work with than just “hi”
That gives them more to work with than just “hi”
Next line!
Them: hello
This is going to be a pretty common response when you don’t give somebody much to work with when they get a greeting out of the blue like, “hi.” Don’t expect somebody new you’re contacting to put much effort into the conversation before you do.
Them: hello
This is going to be a pretty common response when you don’t give somebody much to work with when they get a greeting out of the blue like, “hi.” Don’t expect somebody new you’re contacting to put much effort into the conversation before you do.
You: How are you?
This may be a sincere inquiry from you, but getting this question from a complete stranger still doesn’t give them anything at all to work with, and at this point they’ll start thinking to themselves, “what do you want?”
Stick to asking this to friends.
This may be a sincere inquiry from you, but getting this question from a complete stranger still doesn’t give them anything at all to work with, and at this point they’ll start thinking to themselves, “what do you want?”
Stick to asking this to friends.
Again, when you ask somebody you don’t know “how are you?” You’re asking them to drive the conversation somewhere when you were the one that initiated it. It sounds shitty, but at this point they’re not invested in you and they don’t have much of a motivation to carry on.
Them: good, you?
They’re clearly not interested in driving the conversation anywhere, but gosh darn it, they threw you a bone! They responded with a question, giving you another opportunity to take this conversation somewhere meaningful! Time to take advantage of it!
They’re clearly not interested in driving the conversation anywhere, but gosh darn it, they threw you a bone! They responded with a question, giving you another opportunity to take this conversation somewhere meaningful! Time to take advantage of it!
You: good
Nail in the coffin. This is essentially telling them, “I wanted to talk to you, but I clearly have nothing specific I wanted to talk to you about, and I don’t want to drive the conversation to any place that’s meaningful.”
Nail in the coffin. This is essentially telling them, “I wanted to talk to you, but I clearly have nothing specific I wanted to talk to you about, and I don’t want to drive the conversation to any place that’s meaningful.”
Making friends is tough, especially online where it’s easy to get lost in the crowd. My word of advice is this; quickly find a subject that’s a common interest with people. Ask them questions about their experience with that subject, and share your own experiences.
And for heaven sake, DO NOT HAVE YOUR FIRST CHAT WITH A CRUSH WHILE YOURE HORNY.
I hate that that has to be said, but unsolicited advances from people you’ve had literally no contact with are awful.
I hate that that has to be said, but unsolicited advances from people you’ve had literally no contact with are awful.
Feel free to DM me if you have any questions about this thread! I kinda want to do a panel at a con on how to make friends online or in the very least have positive interactions with new people. It’s a fascinating subject for me ^v^
