Actually speaking of videogames I should probably tell you about my cursed Sims

So husband-type has Sims 3 and I had never played. Played sim city as a kid, but that's it. So of course we made us and our cats.

Somehow, I think because they were so depressed and lonely so I sent them outside, they got a few celebrity stars. This wasn't a huge problem until we moved to the weird vampire town

We downloaded this town, moved our sims there, and remodeled their house into this huge, bizarre monstrosity on the river, like on a pier. There weren't many residents of the town and our house was a long run through some creepy woods. Cool.

Anyway the town is super half finished, no streetlamps, hella dark, full of vampires, weird, but it's fine except one thing: all these vampires are paparazzi and they're obsessed with us

They just started hanging outside of our door all the time like arguing with each other? So vampire paparazzi would come running up to our house through the spooky woods and would just stand at our front door creepily.

So anyway, David is like "just lock the gate on the pier" and this is an okay idea except it's causing serious problems for our bone maid lady skeleton, Bonehilda, who lives in a coffin by my sims art studio and does the chores, except the laundry because she's older than laundry

With the pier gate locked, Bonehilda can't get trash to the trash can, and there are newspapers rotting just outside the gates where four paparazzi vampires are just hanging out

So we unlock the gates because the trash is depressing our sims but then the paparazzi just start yelling outside our house and trying to clip through the walls

We have cheats on at this point and I tell David to put the paparazzi in the river to see if that will make them go away

And dude

We killed a guy

He drowned and our sims got all depressed and stopped sleeping normally.

And then Bonehilda got really weird.

The roof we decked out for partying and there was a dance floor and a DJ booth. Bonehilda started going up to the roof whenever our sims were sleeping and she'd start playing music in the booth

She'd go up there and blast, idk, spooky horror music or something. So our sims would wake up after like an hour of sleep and go upstairs and request, always, without fail, for Bonehilda to play some funk, and she would always refuse, and they would always get upset

So our sims, unable to sleep properly, start just mainlining coffee basically. I'll tell them go to sleep in this bed. They stand next to the bed and then go get some coffee before pleading with Bonehilda to please play some funk

And I'm starting to get frustrated so I'm like "throw it in the river" because we have cheats on and I apparently do not learn

So we throw the tray of coffee mugs that our sims won't stop drinking into the river and put the coffee maker in storage. Problem solved, right? No. It's worse now.

So I tell my deliriously exhausted sims to go to bed. They do not. Mine strips down and goes into the river looking for coffee

So now every time I take my eyes off my sims for a minute they're diving under the house trying to get coffee or begging the skeleton maid to please play some damn funk. They will not sleep.

Anyway I go grab a glass of water and when I come back David's sim is in mourning because my sim is dead and Bonehilda has finally stopped playing music

Just like that old lady in the woods said

(we reloaded them and moved to a new town which has... Other problems.)

(I just wanted to assure you sim Kivan lives)

Hi, I'm coming back to this thread because it's great and because I want you to see what the town looks like because it was so eerie and spooky and wonderful (there's a link for download in this thread above the quoted tweet) https://twitter.com/KivaBay/status/1093346088738729985