Was having a conversation today with someone triggered a memory from a very long time ago but one that remains formative. At least I believe it left a deep impact on me and how I look at others. A memory that turned into a value. A thread.

And like with most of my core values, this one too I trace back to my father. Something I saw him do. Or say. Or Not say. I was but ten. We were living in Masroor at the time when my father was commanding a Sqn. It was a Friday. Used to be an off day back then.

As usual I hadn’t seen my friend and neighbour at the mosque with his father. We used to be together a lot. Side by side on those old colonial houses where the walls between our houses came up my waist. If there was no hedge.

Driving back I asked my father how come I never saw him at the mosque on Fridays. He answered that they went to a different mosque outside the base. I thought that was weird and as which other mosque and why. I was ten. Had no idea why you’d go a different mosque far away.

My father casually parried my question by saying well because they want to go. I understood from his answer that that was that. I didn’t put two and two together because life in the PAF bubble hadn’t really exposed me to such concerns. Or such Pakistani realities

It was maybe three four years later that I found out our old neighbours were an Ahmedi family. Not exactly sure how it came up but there was no grand revelation.

I barely had any idea of what Shia/Sunni differences were but I knew what that meant. To an extent. My mind instantly went back to that afternoon in the car with my father and our short conversation.

I also understood why he’d answered the way he did. He didn’t want to colour my mind – not by having to explain to me they were Ahmedis – but just by having to explain to me that they were ‘others’ or ‘different’.

I’ve often thought about what makes a person like me view others the way I do. And why others do it differently. And I always end up back in my father’s blue staff car on that summer afternoon in Masroor. Where I learnt what should matter to others. And What shouldn’t.

It's these little things that have always stuck with me. Amongst so many others. I called my father up today to talk to him about it. How much that short conversation taught me. He didn't remember it ofcourse.
But I was always listening.