Read on Twitter
Quotes with no context:
“I want to tell that tiny Alpha that he may be fertile but that doesn’t mean that he can fuck.”
“I want to tell that tiny Alpha that he may be fertile but that doesn’t mean that he can fuck.”
“Jeremih has a catalogue ya dumb bitch.”
“I’m staring right at this man’s guiche.”
"His sister looks just like Charles Barkley."
“Wait...so Drake has Hottentot body?!”
"I thought serving them supreme meat was the way to get material goods. Clearly I was wrong."
“So...I want back all the money I spent tonight.”
“Condoms, Welch’s grape fruit snacks, and honey buns.”
“I love a hood-adjacent person who knows how to code switch.”
"When was the last time you had a good queef?"
“I need this to come in a fuckboy brunch boot material.”
"What are you gonna be [for Halloween]?"
"Catwoman and drunk."
"Catwoman and drunk."
“Niggas ain’t trying to namaste all the time.”
“Flights are a love language.”
“Do you have any Gucci led playlists?”
“You need to have books for reading if you’re gonna touch my butt...or my titties!”
Pigs are the Newports of the nature
“Lil’ Boosie is one of Jesus’ twelve disciples...think about that.”
“If we getting fucked up, then we all getting fucked up TOGETHER.”
“I told myself I’m gonna go back into styling because...well, niggas ain’t ‘bout to start the revolution.”
“I didn’t fall off; BITCH I JUMPED!”
“Ebola is Thanos and Liberia is Wakanda.”
“Girl what’s your diet?”
“DICK!”
“DICK!”
“Me and Esther Rolle should really get together.”
“All i do is sell dreams... Wait, I’M A PIMP! I sell DREAMS!”
“That’s why I’m never changing my last name. I am Tits McGee.”
“I used to get into a lot of vans in New York.”
“His voice sounds like weed smoke.”
“My p*ssy is made of vibranium.”
“He gotta take his whole outfit off to go pee.”
"Sort this out amongst yourselves so I know which one of you guys I can invite to the meat show."
“Black women are beautiful...you just don’t happen to be cute.”
“They’d better have Uber in heaven because I’m not walking anywhere.”
“Just so you know...Eddie Levert could STILL get it. STILL.”
“Only molly and coke are acceptable. Everything else is heroin and meth...or some other shit.”
“Pay me in cash, bro.”
“I should not understand your patella the way that I do.”
“To keep it real, I don’t trust a black woman who don’t keep her hair done.”
"I got social pussy. I got extrovert pussy."
“Shit I’m cold. That’s why I got on a fur. Animal ass keeps you warm.”
“Why don’t you put that down your own mouth.”
“Everything always comes back to 2k”
(No context needed. It’s just true.)
(No context needed. It’s just true.)
“It ain’t all that but damn, nigga why?”
"I was really just waiting for him to stop talking so I could finish my Chinese food I got from the Puerto Ricans."
“Wow. That sounds poor.”
“I really want to do drugs and flirt with people this evening.”
“I really don’t want to have to sock a yt woman in the mouth, but in my condition...”
“I’d be interested in that!”
“I’d be interested in that!”
“Clearly his dick has you feeling empowered.”
“Be his beard oil...not his beard.”
"How am I supposed to know who these titties belong to?"
“She’s smart...but she’s very local.”
“You know that’s a hoe dog whistle, right?”
“I would still love you but treat you poorly.”
“Yeah, but she ain’t never had to chop a brick down while the baby’s upstairs...”
“It’s not where you end up; it’s how far you’ve gone.”
“Flat fronts only.”
“That’s y’alls fantasy...this is my life.”
“He has a whole dick for a nose.”
“I could be disrespectful, but I choose not to. Words hurt.”
“Having a little booty in 2019 is a sign of confidence.”
“I mean self control isn’t MY thing, but you can make a suggestion.”
“She’s like the cafeteria lady at the all boys’ school who starts looking real good come Friday.”
"They do illegal drugs in unrecommended quantities."
"Sometimes the spirit of thot compels you."
"He got 17 kids, clearly he's not good at it."
“Titties have their own tattoos. They’re called nipples.l”
“All my shoes come in dust bags. I don’t have time.”
"He been living at his mama's house since birth, soooooo..."
“Don’t maybe me some pussy.”
“I do drugs...but I’m classy.”
“Don’t think less of yourself...but don’t be out here thinking you’re competing with people who are actually attractive.”
“I’m a very stable child.”
“Niggas is still dying of CONSUMPTION?!”
"I’ll compile the options. We def gon' do some gay shit though."
“That’s the lining of an organ. It’s not what you think, my G.”
“I’m getting tired of places that don’t offer me free WiFi simply because I’m here.”
“I could see a stripper named Lexapro.”
"Jesus walked for me to get this apartment. He's been walking for me a lot in my life and guess what? He's tired now."
"Somebody pray for me. I'm in my bag and I can't get out!"
“Dicks don’t break from sneezes.”
“He’s giving her mouth hugs and pocket money.”
"Surely bed bug box does not hit."
“A modest thot here to party and bullshit.”
“That’s not even above me now. It’s beneath me.”
“Don’t sit and talk shit if this is how you’re living.”
“White women ain’t washing they legs. But a lot of niggas ain’t washing they ass. Stay woke.”
“Yeah...she’s aggressively half lesbian.”
“Where would I be...without dick on my side?
(Dramatic pause)
I’d be lost.
If it HAD NOT BEEN for DICK...”
(Dramatic pause)
I’d be lost.
If it HAD NOT BEEN for DICK...”
“Just remember, you could have got pregnant by Ricky Bell.”
“Just know that my number hasn’t changed...and I’ll pick up when you call...but I’m not going to call you.”
“You don’t brush your titties?”
"I missed 6 seasons [of her life] and still caught up. I was looking for her character arc."
"Don't try to make this about my vibrations."
“I’m intuitive, not a mind reader. Write that down.”
“I’m trying to evolve. Today ain’t gon be the day.”
“I’m fed up. Im up to here with swag surfing.”
“Walgreens ran out of Joop this weekend. They’re ALL out.”
“It was always unsafe. We just pretended it wasn’t because we got money.”
“I don’t even know what a fair market price for head is...”
“You know...5th grade was a big fucking flop for me. I ain’t learn shit.”
“I don’t even remember owning a folder, bro.”
“You know what else I did? I didn’t grab the loose piece of pizza, I broke this off. So that should show you the kind of muthafucka that I am.”
“Man! Why is everyone 5’ fucking 9”?! Grow Up!”
“Ooh he ain’t got no teeth. Bet you his eggs are fire.”
“Why are we talking about population when you were just talking about eating my p***y?”
"I am the proud mother of a brand new baby thigh."
“This nigga look like Tinker Bell.”
“Yeah we’ll do this in certain circumstances but we shouldn’t do it to ourselves.”
“I don’t have the dick riding spirit in me.”
“Sports and advertising love a dead nigga.”
“I’ll be administering ass whoopings.”
“Our hoes have BMI’s within federally regulated ranges”
"He's a Twitter 5'8", not a driver's license 5'8"."
“I don’t want nothing on sale in my body.”
"My evolution is a fair amount of regression and I'm ok with that."
“Chest up. Shoulders back. LEAD WITH YOUR PUSSY.”
“She’s not really cute. She just had access to a balanced diet and proper healthcare.”
“Musée de white Jesus.”
“Why is your neck popping so profusely?”
“Aht! It’s second only to this puss.”
“Aht! It’s second only to this puss.”
“I had an old ass ni**a with no teeth eat my pu**y before. NO teeth. NOTHING. And he was the weed man.”
“She looked like the only black girl on a lacrosse team.”
“When you at the top of the food chain, you can do whatever the fuck you want.”
“You know why he’s working so hard? He’s a Scientologist.”
“She a cold bowl of grits, man. Looks good from afar, but then you get close and it’s all congealed.”
"I really just want everyone to fully express their hoedom in whatever ways resonate best with them."
“These n*ggas ain’t loyal. That’s why we cheat to Amerie.”
“I ain’t giving my money to a stripper so she can just buy her boyfriend the shit that I want.”
"It's fun. Like yoga, but for hoes."
“How you find this many women that carry their weight in their triceps?”
"I don't trust no "what's up girl!" ass bitch."
“This is the main event right here, get with it!”
"Dildos love everything you do to them."
“Niggas act like they ain’t never been nowhere before and they just happy to be outside.”
"i JUST looked at my legs and remembered who i was"
“We successful. Our shit vintage or expensive or both.”
“I never trusted a short n*gga. All their cute little shoes. And little pants.”
"Like she been touching people with verified Rona...VERIFIED...BLUE CHECK RONA."
“I need a girlfriend. I really just want to lay on titties until I feel better.”
“I cannot be the only dad trying to hide drugs in a common area.”
"You don't have to have a six pack to deserve a six pack."
"She looks like she eats an extraordinary amount of hot chips."
"She got jazz hand teeth."
“The freedom riders had to be litty. They had to be drunk the whole time.”
"I got my summer ankles but it ain't no summer..."
“It’s a really difficult time to decide whether or not you’re going to trust a white woman.”
“She’s been fighting the battle for her hairline a long time.”
"I went and posted two pictures on Facebook to remind people that I'm not dead and that I'm finer than them."
“You really underestimate the power in your jaws.”
“We need more cornbread.”
“What does Shaq not sell?!”
“Dick.”
“Dick.”
“She came into the game with no edges.”
“Go ahead and put another layer of slut on there.”
"I like Hennessy. I like bitches. I've just been ANOINTED with this calling. I didn't ask for it."
“You may not wear a slip now but spiritually, that shit is still on you.”
“Yo’ young bitch built like yo’ old bitch supposed to be built.”
“He is definitely the last of the Lesters...and he’s got a Versace inspired Medusa head on his sweatshirt.”
“You like that one? With the wrinkles on his neck??”
“The revolution is always Plan A.”
