1. Hello, United Kingdom, it’s the United States of America here, and we need to talk. https://twitter.com/EmporersNewC/status/884474494512975872
2. We understand that you chose to split up with the EU, and we’re cool with it, but we thought we’d tell you how we see it.
6. And 1983 was also the year that you were so proud that you had played your part in cementing peace within the European Community.
9. In 1991 you secured an agreement that would see community members fined if they did not live up to their responsibilities.
11. It was also 1992 when you also began to push for the ex-Soviet states’ entrance to the community.
12. In 1997 you pushed for a reform of voting involving the use of QMV in areas that were unanimous before.
13. In 1998 you were instrumental in bringing the WEU defence programme into the EU, and led greater defence collaboration.
15. In 2005 you voted to speed up Turkey accession, and by 2010 you were the only country fighting for that.
19. We were all delighted when you seemed to be taking the mature step of taking control of your destiny.
20. Then one day you said you needed to chat and you met up with the EU to discuss your issues.
21. I was under the impression the EU gave you almost everything you asked for, including additional security measures.
22. Then you went away and announced that you were leaving, which is totally cool, and we respected that.
24. You said it wouldn’t reform, you had lost 76 out of 2466 votes, and it forced you to do things you didn’t want to.
26. Largely because that 76 number included votes you didn’t take part in because they were in the area of your opt outs.
27. We thought you were just having a funny 5 minutes, until you said you didn’t have control of the direction the EU was taking.
31. That you had no idea why the EU needed a military, and why it was pushing for further defence collaboration.
36. That all this regulation coming out of the EU is strangling you, and the scope keeps increasing.
42. Now, I hate to cast aspersions, but are you absolutely sure the EU is to blame?
43. To be honest, some think you are pandering to a part of you that blames anybody but themselves when things go wrong.
44. So, I am asking you to do some soul searching and rethink this whole thing.
45. Just to be clear, we’ll still be friends, and it doesn’t matter if you decide to leave the EU or not.
46. But if you leave for the reasons you have stated, you will not be respected in the global community for many years to come.
47. Oh, and I heard you were talking about WTO reform. Seriously? After this?!?
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