OOO rewatch complete. And man, I didn't think it was possible, but I think the series managed to squeeze my heart even more tightly than it did the first time.

Part of that is, I think, that I've done some soul-searching since the first time and gotten a better sense of why this story hit me as hard as it did. And part of it - yes, I'm gonna get political here - is that the world has changed in ways that make this story more important.

I'm a person with mental health problems who has dedicated her career to helping people with mental health problems. I'm a person who is passionate about social justice in a world that's suffocating in selfishness and cruelty. I relate, deeply and personally, to Eiji Hino.

OOO is a story about having your hope and idealism crushed to dust by reality and then having to pick yourself up, gather the rubble, and start rebuilding it, brick by brick, into something far less impressive, but stronger and more tangible.

And while I've experienced nothing so dramatic as watching a child getting blown up in a war zone, I can think of at least two major times in my life - and many, many more small ones - that my ideals have been torn down. I am never not rebuilding them.

And god help me, that is a task that I frequently, desperately want to give up and walk away from. I've never managed to do it. What is it like, I wonder, to not care about what goes on in the world? What is it like to want for nothing and for no one but yourself? I don't know.

But OOO is also a story that recognizes the fact that you can't pour from an empty cup. It's a story about how important it is to make yourself one of the people that you strive to help and take care of. Eiji is really fucking bad at that. A lot of us are.

I certainly have been, at some times in my life more than others. It feels wrong. Unnatural. Selfish. It takes conscious and conscientious effort in a way striving to help others does not. Some of that is how we're socialized, certainly.

And how many other stories are there in the world that glorify the idea of wholesale self-sacrifice for the greater good? My other favorite Rider series stands out as a pretty glaring example, and I really should do a comparative analysis one day, but that's for another time.

Socialization aside, in the era of Trump there has been a lot of discourse about empathy and more importantly the lack thereof. The reason this is such a goddamned difficult problem to solve is that when you have a lot of empathy you simply Can Not understand its absence.

I don't know how to describe empathy. I lack the words. I know it's powerful. I know it's incredibly difficult to resist or ignore. It can be beautiful; a deeply profound human connection and a great honor. It can be painful. But denying it hurts worse.

And when empathy is strong enough, it can be self-destructive.

OOO is a story that acknowledges the truth of what happens when you give too much of yourself to others and don't leave enough for yourself. You burn out. And burnout isn't pretty. I know. I've been there.

But it's more than a cautionary tale. Eiji is already burnt out by the time we meet him. OOO is a story about coming back from that. How? What can we learn from him? How can we, especially those of us burdened by overpowered empathy, get better at taking care of ourselves?

Something else that stood out for me more on this rewatch - and again, I think I'm noticing more because I'm watching in the era of Trump - is the message about how limited an individual is in their capacity to help. Know your limits. Help those within your reach.

How fucking relatable is that, in an era where we are being constantly bombarded from all sides with news of literally dozens of terrible things that are happening and demanding our attention, our concern, our action, all at once?

So much of why Eiji is the way he is and does what he does is fueled by having felt powerless to help someone, to change something. I have felt that exact powerlessness. I feel it with my clients, because I can't change something for them that they can only change themselves.

But I also feel it, as so many of us do, every fucking time another disaster headline blows up online. Feeling so sad, so angry, wanting to help so desperately, but you're already being pulled in so many directions, you lack the time, the money, the energy, and you just...can't.

Or you're already doing everything in your power but it just doesn't seem like enough because nothing is changing. The people with more power than you aren't doing anything and trying to get them to listen is as effective and as painful as beating your head against a brick wall.

It's telling that OOO doesn't offer a good solution to this dilemma. For all Eiji talks about helping within his reach, there's always a part of him that still hangs on to wanting to be that guy who saves the world. And because this is a superhero story, he gets to be that guy.

Gotou too, in a way that's a bit smaller and much less messy. As soon as he stops hinging his every action on wanting to be the guy who saves the world, he...gets to be the guy who saves the world. Which kind of brings me to what I feel is OOO's most important message.

OOO is a story about interdependence. About the fact that there is strength in allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to lean on others. That no matter what your goal is, you can't accomplish a damned thing by yourself.

Yes, there's a lot of that in toku. Teamwork, power of friendship, found family, all those lovely and wonderful tropes. I feel like OOO takes it further than most. There isn't a single character on that show, good or evil, who doesn't need somebody else.

And sure, a lot of those characters rail against it, whether it's out of a sense of guilt for burdening someone else with their problems or a fear that relying on someone will make them weak - and boy if both of those aren't relatable as hell - but they all. Need. Someone else.

Eiji is ineffective without Ankh and Ankh is vulnerable without Eiji. Both rely on Hina to preserve their empathy, their humanity. Gotou fails when he acts alone but grows and thrives when he starts backing up Date. Date flagrantly uses both Kougami and Maki to achieve his goals.

The Greeed are nigh unstoppable when they team up, but every alliance they make is torpedoed by selfishness and pride, and they suffer for it. Maki burns through and discards each and every one of his allies, one by one, and is defeated when he finds himself left utterly alone.

Eiji and Ankh have to accept the fact that they need each other in order to win. But more than that, Eiji doesn't find his healing in being the guy who saves the world. He finds it in his friends, and in finally, at the very end, allowing himself to reach out & accept their help.

And that, right there, might be the thing that resonates with the the most about OOO. That it's not only okay to need help and to ask for it, it's necessary, and it's beautiful, and it helps EVERYONE INVOLVED.

I say this a lot, I have better friends than I deserve. Does Eiji think he deserves his friends? Probably not. Does Ankh? Definitely not.

Do you think you deserve your friends?

Do you know that you ARE the friend someone else thinks themselves unworthy of?

I know, intellectually, that I am that friend. I've been told as much. But I never quite manage to believe it, because nothing I ever do for anyone, at anything, feels good enough.

I'm still learning that sometimes I don't have to do anything at all.

Simply being who you are and existing in your relationships with others, believe it or not, is something that helps all on its own. So that even when you feel like you're doing nothing, you're doing more than you think. A lot of times, that alone is enough.

There's a lot I can't change, and there's a lot I can't fix. For others, and for myself. But I'll do my best to be a hand that reaches out to others, and one that grasps the hands that are reaching out to me.