Thread by @PBK_twt, Things BTS managers have said at some point, probably: a thread Manager [...]

Things BTS managers have said at some point, probably: a thread

Manager (M): jimin no
JM: :(
M:
JM: :(((
M: .. fuck fine

M: stop playing overwatch you gotta get up at 4am tomorrow
JK: can I open my loot boxes first
M:
JK: :(
M:
M: just opening them, and then you sleep
JK: ok thanks
JK:
JK: .. why are you still here
M: ... I wanna see what you got..

SJ: we& #39;re out of eggs
M: check the chiller
SJ:
M:
SJ: you think kiwis are eggs that have grown fur one (1) time and people never let you forget—
M: lmao

TH: I need this tie
M: you really don& #39;t
TH: :(
M: you have 76 at home
TH: but :((
M: you. have. 76. at. home.
TH: but it& #39;s purple... ARMY :( is :( purple.. :(
M:
TH:
M, visibly upset with himself, giving TH& #39;s wallet back to him: damn it tae this is how you got the 76 fucking ti—

NJ, putting on his 100th pair of new sunglasses:
M, traumatized by the memes and stressed out:
NJ:

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😎" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit Sonnenbrille" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit Sonnenbrille">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😎" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit Sonnenbrille" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit Sonnenbrille">
M: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😀" title="Grinsendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht">

M: I am so tired. I want to sleep and never wake up
HS: good! morning!! hyung!!! it& #39;s a great day to be alive!!!!

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken">
M:
HS:

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M: it& #39;s! a!! great!!! day!!!! to!!!!! be!!!!!! alive!!!!!!!

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken">

JM: hyung!!!!! gimme a hug :)
YG, flustered because there are other people in the room: no im busy go play with tae
JM, leaving: :((
M, whispering acidly in YG& #39;s ear: why have you done this
YG, looking down at his lap sadly: i am a monster

SJ: damn it..
M: ?? what
SJ: yoongi must have eaten all of my snacks again, i can& #39;t find them
M:
M, shaking his head, hiding the last of SJ& #39;s snacks behind his back, his voice muffled by the food still in his mouth: damn, you really have to watch that one all the time, huh??

NJ: Ive been thinking a lot lately..
M, concerned: oh.. do you wanna talk about it??
NJ: no.. its ok, it& #39;s dumb..
M: Namjoon, anything that bothers you isn& #39;t dumb.. You know you can always tell me whats on your mind
NJ, blurting: is french kissing just called kissing in france
M:

JK: so listen :) it& #39;s summertime and—
M, pinching the bridge of his nose: kook, for the last time, we are not filming a watermelon challenge unless you& #39;re cleaning up yourself. the other managers and I have better things to do other than scrubbing fruit out of the parquet
JK: :(

M: wheres yoongi
All of BTS except for JM: dunno
M, calmly turning to JM:
JM: ?
M: wheres yoongi
JM: I dunno either
M, immediately panicking:

M1: I call zedd
M2: kehlani
-later, in america-
NJ: we& #39;d love to collab with zedd!!
JM: zedd!!

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken">
HS: YAEH ZEDD
SJ: zedd
TH: ZEDD
JK: Zedd!!
YG: maybe.. zedd?
M1, in the background, holding out his hand: pay up bitch
M2, grumbling, handing M1 30,000 won:

M3: you know the kids are international kpop superstars.. shouldnt we be giving them better prizes by now
M1, scoffing and collecting 20 vouchers for panda express over the counter: you must be new, kid. we could use 10 of these and they& #39;d still fall over for the other 10

M: tae, what type of collar do you want
TH, dropping a plate and gasping:
M: ?
TH, averting his gaze: i-im not into that type of play..
M, palming his face: FOR YEONTAN, TAE. YOU JUST TOLD ME HE CHEWED THROUGH THE LAST ONE
TH: oH
M:
M: .. also you dont clear your internet history

SJ, sighing over a beer: sometimes i wonder if the kids are growing up too fast
M: ..jin, you& #39;re only 4 years older than jungkook. you& #39;re 1 year older than yoon—
SJ, louder: sOMETIMES, I WONDER IF—

M1: i miss the good old days
M2: me too
M1:
M2:
Both: /war flashbacks to when BTS were underappreciated, ill-treated and harassed as sideacts for other groups, when they were constantly shat upon just for trying to follow their dreams/
M1: .. nop changed my mind
M2: yaeh me too

M:
BTS, in the same room, laughing and smiling, happily and comfortably joking around with one another:
M: ... :)

YG, paying for a new drill bit that costs 15,000 won: man, these things have gotten really expensive..
M, trying to reign it in:
YG: gotta find a cheaper place to get this stuff. there& #39;s a dollar store close by—
M, exploding with frustration: DAMN IT YOONGI YOU

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👏🏻" title="Applaus-Zeichen (heller Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Applaus-Zeichen (heller Hautton)"> ARE

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👏🏻" title="Applaus-Zeichen (heller Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Applaus-Zeichen (heller Hautton)"> RICH

YG, drunk: what does it take to be a good man?? Do I have to be nice?? funny?
M: those are 2 good qualities, yes
YG: what else do I need
M:
YG: .. chloroform??
M: nO YOONGI THAT IS NOT A GOOD QUALITY

JK: what& #39;s boku no pico
M, sputtering: wHA— WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT
JK: the 98 liner gc
TH, snickering: it& #39;s a comedy kook you should watch it
JK: oh
JK: is it on crunchyroll
M: JUNGKOOK NO—

HS: guys did you know our fans think someone at bighit likes bOnDaGe?? lol
NJ: isn& #39;t there lol
TH: there probably is lol
M: there probably isn& #39;t but we can& #39;t exactly tell them it& #39;s you idiots can we

JM: I& #39;m sad..
M, waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, hyperventilating: something is not right, I must go

NJ: hyung do you follow this blog called justshowerthoughts haha some of the posts are funny and weird
M, thinking: namjoon, you are the literal embodiment of thoughts people have in the shower
M, speaking aloud: no I don& #39;t have tumblr

M, watching BTS smile as they receive yet another award on stage for their amazing music, listening to ARMYs cheering:
RM: ARMYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
M: ... :& #39;)

JM & TH, bickering loudly:
M, passes by, immediately tries to leave without being seen:
TH: HYUNG
JM: HYUNG, COME HERE FOR A SECOND—
M, thinking: shit

M: everything is meaningless
HS, smiling dreamily at the sky: wouldn& #39;t it be cool if we could eat all the clouds?? bet they& #39;d taste nice and sweet

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken"> :>
M:
M: .. yeah they would wouldn& #39;t they

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken">

BTS, watching UP with their managers:
JK, in awe: it& #39;s be cool to live in a house like that..
BTS: :)
M2: that& #39;s unsustainable jungkook
NJ: NO IT COULD HAPPEN
TH @ JK: KOOK, HYUNG WILL BUILD YOU A HOUSE EXACTLY LIKE THAT
JK: no—
M1, sighing tiredly: why do movie nights always—

M: there are only 7 puppies here?
Buzzfeed Interviewer: yup
M: and you need them all back
B/INT: of course..
M: ok
-later-
M, holding out his hand to each member: alright, cough em up
BTS, upset as they pass by the exit in a line, each retrieving a puppy from under their jackets:

TH:
M:
TH: im not saying I like the guy, but do you ever think about how hitler feels, being hated so much??
M:
M: no
TH: oh.
TH: why not??
M: he& #39;s dead
TH: ah, ok
M:
TH:
M: he was also a fucking asshole
TH: mm true dat

SJ: so this bitch—
M: for the last time, jin, you need to stop calling your members bitch..
SJ:
M: .. without clarifying who it is. There are fucking 7 of you, how the hell am I supposed to know—

NJ: lmao hyung Yoongi& #39;s depressed, he got locked out of his studio again
M, groaning, getting up to pluck YG off the floor and break into Genius Lab: im gonna make that boy set his damn birthday as the number at this rate

JM, popping by in new clothes: hey hyung!!! :> do I look boyfriend in this??
M: do you look.. what
JM: boyfriend!!
M, looking at JM over the rims of his spectacles: as in.. would I.. a straight man.. want to be your boyfriend..???
JM:
JM: yeah :>
M:
M: .. yes

YG, sad, holing up in his studio:
M:
M, standing outside the door with lamb skewers and coffee: Yoongi?
YG:
M: I know you wanna be alone. I& #39;m gonna leave some things here. Text the other members, ok? They& #39;re worried
YG:
M, quietly leaving:
YG, feeling a little bit better:

NJ, sad, by Han River:
M, sitting down next to him:
NJ: .. why are some people so mean to us hyung
M:
M: I don& #39;t know joon.
NJ: maybe its on me. I& #39;m the leader, I should be doing better
M:
NJ, leaning his head on M& #39;s shoulder and crying:
M, letting him: it& #39;s not on you. I& #39;m here.

JM, sitting tiredly in the studio after solo practice:
M:
JM, hanging his head and leaning against the mirror: it& #39;s not good enough, hyung..
M:
M, giving him a bottle of water:
JM, looking up:
M: you& #39;re good enough, Jimin.
JM:
M: I& #39;ll believe it for the both of us, till you do.

JK, stressed, in Golden Closet for 72 hours straight: Magic Shop has to be perfect, hyung
M:
JK, crying: what if it& #39;s bad? What if the members don& #39;t like it, or—
M: they& #39;ll like it, Jungkook.
JK:
M: your hyungs haven& #39;t heard a single beat, but I already know they& #39;re proud of you.

TH, sad, locked in his room:
M: tae.. I know you& #39;re upset. Even if it isn& #39;t me, I hope you talk to the members.
TH:
M: I know you don& #39;t really like being alone, even if you don& #39;t want to talk. We can just sit quietly—
TH, opening the door for a hug:
M, smiling and giving him one:

SJ, sad, on the balcony with a beer:
M, joining him, cracking open a can:
SJ:
SJ: it& #39;s so hard hyung
M:
SJ: being the eldest, being the mature one, or forcing myself to be the immature one; I& #39;m so tired
M:
M, letting SJ rant, silently listening, one hand squeezing SJ& #39;s shoulder:

HS, sad, laying on his bed:
M, sitting next to him:
HS: do you think I& #39;m always a happy person hyung
M:
HS: some people do. I& #39;m not happy now though
M:
HS: isn& #39;t it weird
M: no.
HS, crying:
M, laying down next to HS: you can feel however you feel. It& #39;s ok. We& #39;re only human, Seok.

M: Seokjin, can you turn on the lights?
SJ: I don& #39;t have to. I& #39;m the only light you need in your life
M: seokjin. I can& #39;t see

BTS, sitting in the car, singing ridiculously loudly to the radio:
M, turning up the volume to make them happy: I hate literally all of you

BTS, at yet another interview in USA:
M, at a distance, thinking: pls. anything but that..
INT: so, anyone you& #39;re excited to see while you& #39;re here? Which western artists inspired your music? if you had to collab w—
BTS:
M, under his breath: fuck this fucking star-spangled country

BTS, at yet another interview in America:
M, at a distance, thinking: pls.. anything but that..
INT: so
BTS:
INT wHAT ABOUT THOSE DANK MEMES EH???
BTS: !!!!!!!!
M, pleasantly surprised: huh

(Callback to this other crackhead thread I did, check it out if memes are ya thing) https://twitter.com/pbk_twt/status/999186710054424576">https://twitter.com/pbk_twt/s...

https://twitter.com/pbk_twt/status/999186710054424576

M, sneaking into Mon Studio:
M, finding the toy NJ accidentally broke during his V live:
M, fixing it up real slow and careful:
M, putting it back on the shelf:
M, quietly: good as new
M: ... :)

JK: JIMIN-SSI JIMIN-SSI, JIMIN-SII
JM: STOP THAT, JUST CALL ME HYUNG
JK: JIMIN-SII—
M, breaking up the fight: sTOP MAKING A RUCKUS
-5 mins later-
BTS:
M:
TH: hEY HOW MANY MOCHI DO YOU THINK I CAN FIT INTO MY MOU—
M: CAN WE HAVE PEACE FOR 10 MINUTES IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

SJ, playing mario cart:
M, playing with him:
SJ:
M, using a spiny shell:
SJ: hOW DARE YOU STOOP SO LOW
M: ITS A LEGIT TACTIC JIN WTF—

TH: what did gladiators do back then if they had to poop in the middle of a fight
M:
JK: omg hyung obviously they just went don& #39;t be stupid
M: wait, in the first place, why—

YG: GOD DAMN IT NAMJOON—
NJ: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT—
M, sighing, going to get the toolbox:

JM: how do you pick up a girl
M: waht
JK: omg hyung
JM:
M:
JK: bridal style, obviously
M: no wait—

M, brushing his teeth in the morning:
TH on JK& #39;s back, screaming about boku no hero academia as they pass by right outside the toilet:
M:
M, unbothered, used to this shit, continuing to gargle:

SJ: shout out to the people wondering what the opposite of in is
BTS:
M:
YG, getting up, visibly livid, reaching to strangle SJ: YoU fuCKING—
M: YOONGI NO—
JM, wheezing:

NJ: yknow guys we share 50-60% of our DNA with a banana
M:
SJ: thats nice namjoon
YG: wait are you telling me some people are 10% more banana than others
NJ: well. yes
YG: it& #39;s hobi
M:
M: explain
YG: good vitamins, makes ya feel.. good
M:
M: I& #39;ll let you have that one
HS: :D!!!!!

SJ: seductively, eyes half-lidded: you& #39;re so hot..
M: jin just take your lasagna out of the fucking microwave and go

M, chilling with JM in his room:
JM, hugging a stuffed toy, noticing there& #39;s fur in the toy& #39;s eyes and fixes it:
JM, whispering: you can See
M:
M, fists clenched, a single tear rolling down his cheek:

M, sitting on a sofa next to TH, laptop on his lap:
TH: hyung can you be my lap pillow :(
M:
M: your waht
TH: can i put my head on your thighs and nap
M: no im working
TH: :(
-later-
M, with TH napping on his lap, holding up his laptop with one hand and typing with the other: fuc

JK: whats NSFW
SJ, not even looking up from his phone, immediately and without hesitation: no spaghetti for wario
M, staring at SJ:
JK:
M, turning to JK: what he said

JM: hyung can you paint my nails
M, not even looking up from his laptop: did you ask yoongi
JM: ??? why would I
M, snorting internally: just go ask yoongi
-later that night-
YG, looking relaxed and at peace with the world: thanks hyung
M:
M: welcome

[grocery shopping]

TH, tripping: oW
YG: lmao did you just slip on flat ground
TH: hyUNG D: my slipper broke!!!! :& #39;(((
M: oh
M, turning to JK: well, kook, you& #39;re up
JK: wHY
-later-
TH, getting a piggyback ride from JK: :>

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken">
M: okay next, the meat section
JK: I hate this family

YG with a fever, tucked in bed and sleeping:
The other members sprawled around the room, sleeping:
M2:
M1:
M2: so we were in here all day because the boys insisted on staying with yoongi
M1: yup
M2: we& #39;re all gonna have the plague tomorrow aren& #39;t we
M1, already sniffling: yup

M, stocking the fridge:
JK, peeking around the corner:
M:
JK:
M, finishes up, leaves:
JK, running over to the fridge and finding one pack of banana milk in the chiller because M knows he& #39;s gonna snatch it up the second he leaves the kitchen:
JK: :DDD!!!!!!!!!!!

[filming RUN]

M2, pointing at JM: there, right there
M1: yeah for sure
M2: how many times does that make it now
M1: 42
M3, joining them: what are you guys doing
M1: counting how many times the production team is going to add in a squeaky noise for jimin this episode
M3:
M3: wow

NJ, reading DEMIAN:
M: aren& #39;t you sick of that book?? you read it so much a few years ago
NJ, flipping a page: its where it all began for us hyung
M:
M, sitting down next to him: lets see it
NJ, grinning, putting the book between them:

M, texting a girl on a dating app:
BTS, hovering around him:
M:
M: .. what
NJ: hyung use an emoji
YG: your profile sucks you gotta rewrite it
M: omg leave me alone
BTS: :(
TH: i& #39;ll loan you yeontan hyung girls love puppies
M:
M: okay get the dog

NJ: you dont have to go that far jimin
JM, on the ground, shirt stained with grass, squished against a tree trunk, holding up his phone: this& #39;ll be the one hyung!!
M:
HS, passing by: what are they doing
M: kim daily

JK, excited: hyung IU released a new single you have to stream it
M: i dont even listen to IU though
JK: :(
-later-
M, plugging his earphones into his laptop, phone and ipad before going to bed, streaming IU on melon, spotify and genius, grumbling: damn it jungkook

TH: YOURE WRONG
JK: NO YOURE WRONG—
M, sighing: whats this now
JM, tiredly: they& #39;re fighting over the best team in haikyuu
M:
JM: tae says nekoma, kook says karasuno
TH: HYUNG BACK ME UP
JK: HE WONT
M:
M: youre both wrong it& #39;s aoba johsai
SJ, popping his head in the door: CORRECT

NJ: hyung can you help me i burned the kettle
M:
M: what were you doing
NJ: boiling water
M:
NJ:
M: how
NJ, sadly: i forgot i was boiling water and it all evaporated and now the bottom of the kettle is burned
M:
NJ:
M: waow

HS in Hope World, asleep in his chair after working for hours on his mixtape:
M, creeping in:
M:
M: adjusting the aircon:
M, carrying HS to the sofa:
M, laying a blanket over him:
M, turning the lights off:
M, leaving:
M, pausing by the door:
M: night hobi
M: ... :)

FYI https://twitter.com/PBK_twt/status/1001109419453661184">https://twitter.com/PBK_twt/s...

https://twitter.com/PBK_twt/status/1001109419453661184

https://twitter.com/PBK_twt/status/1001109422100307968">https://twitter.com/PBK_twt/s...

https://twitter.com/PBK_twt/status/1001109422100307968

https://twitter.com/PBK_twt/status/1001109424033820673">https://twitter.com/PBK_twt/s...

https://twitter.com/PBK_twt/status/1001109424033820673

M, shaking JK: time to get up, it& #39;s 6
JK, waking up with a boner: wHAT WHAT IS IT
M:
JK, looking down at his crotch:
M:
JK, looking up at M:
M:
JK:
JK: this isn& #39;t for you
M: I HAD NO DELUSIONS ABOUT THAT IN THE FIRST PLA—

JK, browsing twitter: jeon cena-hyung tagged us in a tweet and said he& #39;s in the military
TH: really wow that& #39;s cool
NJ:
M:
NJ:
M:
M: are you gonna tell them or—
NJ, visibly elated: nop

Bang PD (BPD): so how are the kids
M, flashing back to the morning when TH and JM were bickering, NJ had an existential crisis, YG couldn& #39;t wake up, JK ran out of his fave cologne, SJ got mad because there were no more bacon, HS couldn& #39;t find his precious pouch:
M:
M: they& #39;re ok

M, on a date, waiting for the girl to turn up:
BTS, all in really conspicuous disguises, tailing M because they& #39;re worried about him:
M, sweating nervously about the idea of BTS being recognised:
M:
Girl, turning up: hey!
M, nervously blurting: I& #39;m sorry I& #39;m gay and I have to go

M:
BTS:
M: it& #39;s 3am
JM: but we& #39;re hungry :(
JK: so hungry :(((
M: go to bed
TH: sO HUNGRY :& #39;((
M: WELL, SLEEP IT OFF™
-15 minutes later-
M, visibly worn out, cooking ramen for 8:
BTS: :DDDDD!!!!!

YG: I miss holly
M: mmm
YG: I wish I could see him..
M:
-7 hours later-
M, busting into Genius Lab, panting, visibly exhausted, min holly cradled in his arm: y-yo
YG:
YG, tearing up: HOW
M, having war flashbacks to YG& #39;s mother giving him the Spanish Inquisition:
M: chill it& #39;s nbd

TH: yoongi-hyung& #39;s like a kitten
M:
M: explain
TH: does everything he& #39;s told to, but with attitude
M:
M: ok I& #39;ll give you that

TH: kookie& #39;s a bunny
M:
M: yup I& #39;ll accept that

TH, playing with yeontan: who& #39;s a good boy :)))))))))))
M, watching him: you are
TH:
M:
Yeontan (Y):
TH: CORRECT

NJ: hyung did you get the album from the office
M: no
NJ: don& #39;t you wanna have a copy? its free
M: what for
NJ: :(
-later that night-
M, ordering all 4 versions of LY:T online, staring at his shelf with every BTS album in order: how are you gonna hit sales with that attitude nams

JM, watching netflix:
M: anything good
JM, beaming, turning the screen in the middle of an episode of little witch academia: taetae told me this anime is good
M:
JM: there& #39;s magic!!!
M:
M, clenching his fists, a single tear rolling down his cheek:

HS, on the phone with M: jiminie and I stayed back to practice some more! Yoongi hyung and Joonie are in their studios; the other members are at home
M: ok
-later, dinner time-
M, ordering food on the phone at home: hi I& #39;d like a delivery
M:
M: .. for 4 places. yeah, same time—

M: I already said I& #39;ll call a plumber
YG, on his back under the sink, eyes narrowed at a leaky pipe: no that& #39;s expensive
M: you& #39;re a multi-millionaire—
YG, ignoring M: don& #39;t know what the problem is, but I can probably fix it with fire..
M: YOONGI IM CALLING A PLUMBER

[shooting euphoria]

M, watching:
M, approaching JK with a stalk of weeds: kook, use these to annoy yoongi
JK, using the stalk to tickle YG& #39;s ear:
YG, flinching: sadjklh >:|
PDs: LMAO
JK: :DDD
YG: ... :)
M:
M: lmao

M, doing a card trick for BTS in a waiting room to entertain them: .. is this your card
SJ: OH MY GOD IT IS
TH: hYUNG YOURE A MAGICIAN
JM: AHHHHHHH
YG: this is fucking sorcery
NJ: iTS sLEIGHT OF HAND
HS, smacking NJ on the hand: you cANT PROVE THAT
JK: HOW DID YOU DO IT
M:
M: :)

JK: hyung am I a weab
M, without hesitation: yes
JK: :(
M: why
JK: isnt that lame?? ARMY wont like it..
M:
M: kook, you like whatever the fuck you like. ARMY will love you anyway
JK: .. :)
M: also, weabs are practically cousins to kpop fans, you& #39;ll be fine
JK: :))))))))!!!!!

M, walking in on YG watching porn:
YG, throwing his phone out the window: fCUK
M:
YG:
M:
YG:
M:
YG:
M:
YG: this isn& #39;t what it looks like
M:
M: it& #39;s completely normal yoongi
YG:
M:
YG:
M, backing slowly out of the room: i& #39;ll just .. go get you a new phone now
YG:
M: bye
YG:
M:

M, at home, on twitter, seeing an anti-BTS hashtag trending:
M, calling NJ:
NJ: hey hyung..
M: get the boys i& #39;m coming over
NJ: ..what
M: it& #39;s tuesday nams, its all-you-can-eat samgyeopsal day
NJ: since when did we—
M, hanging up: i& #39;ll be there in 15
NJ, hanging up:
NJ:
NJ: .. :)

SJ: converting the numbers 51, 6 and 500 to roman numerals makes me LIVID
NJ:
TH:
JK:
JM:
HS:
M:
YG, packing his bags:

M, watching TV at home:
M, a Masked Singer fan, seeing that a new episode is running at the same time as a BTS variety episode rerun on another channel:
M:
M, tuning in to the BTS episode to up the ratings, grumbling: god damn it..

M:
JK, coming home after a long day at Golden Closet, flopping on the sofa next to M:
M:
JK, scooches closer:
M:
JK, putting his head under M& #39;s shirt and whining:
M:
M: I still don& #39;t understand why you do this
JK: s& #39;warm.. m& #39;tired
M:
M, patting JK& #39;s head through his shirt:

JM: the air con is too cold :(
NJ: no it isn& #39;t
TH: i still feel warm af :///
HS: jiminie gets cold too easily
M:
M: no one else has a problem. go sit next to yoongi he& #39;s a tiny furnace
YG:
JM, sitting next to YG:
YG: .. :)
M:
M: .. :)

NJ: I tried to borrow this book that I want to read from the library but they don& #39;t have it :(
M: get it on amazon
NJ: but..
M: why are you borrowing books from the library in the first place
NJ: its free..
M:
M: nams, I don& #39;t mean to be rude but what is wrong with you and yoongi

TH, one random day in 2013, completely apropos of nothing: I kind of like jellyfish, they& #39;re squiggly and cute
M: hmm
M, to this very day, being tempted to buy something jellyfish-themed every time he comes across it: taehyung would like this..

M, going over to BTS& #39; house and opening the door: hey kids I brought over some more groceries—
BTS with little party poppers, making a mess of the living room as they flip the lights on and bring a cake with a lit candle to M: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HYUNG
M:
M: .. :& #39;)

M, looking at old pictures of BTS on their twitter page:
M:
M, a single tear sliding down his cheek:

M:
JM:
M:
JM:
M: jimin, please take the harness off. you& #39;ve been home for 3 hours

NJ: what& #39;s "but namjoon"
M:
M: where did you see that
NJ: its trending, but hoseok stole my phone to see my kim dailies and the rest of the members wont let me borrow theirs
M:
HS, adding & #39;but namjoon& #39; to NJ& #39;s muted list: >:(
M, turning to NJ: it doesn& #39;t matter. let& #39;s go buy boba

M, at home alone, scrolling through BTS& #39; official twitter feed and liking every single post dating back to pre-debut says:
M:
M, quoting every tweet and adding #2018BTSFESTA to every post: i really need a life away from these idiots..
M, looking at BTS& #39; follower count:
M: ... :)

TH, first to wake up, shaking the rest of BTS: get up :& #39;(((
BTS: ok but only if you do the dishes
-later-
M, walking into the kitchen, noticing that TH is not only up, but also doing chores:
TH:
M, backing out of the kitchen and coming back in:
TH:
M, whispering: what the fu—

HS, spraining his finger in the middle of dance practice:
M1, standing off the sidelines, watching a medic tend to HS with clenched fists:
-later-
M2, finding M1 on the roof:
M1, smoking:
M2:
M2: it never gets easier, huh? watching them get hurt
M1:
M1: no. It doesn& #39;t.

NJ, inside Mon Studio, recording a V Live:
M, outside, holding JM back from opening the door with all his strength: jiMIN STOP IT—

JK: technically, bunnies COULD be living on the other side of the moon
M:
JK: I mean, the astronauts weren& #39;t everywhere at one right? maybe the rabbits ran to the other side
M, an educated man of science, knowing full well that it isn& #39;t true:
M: i mean you& #39;re not wrong
JK: :DDD!!

YG with dark circles under his eyes: hey hyung
M, watching him pass by to enter Genius Lab:
-later-
YG, approaching M: hyung, did the members bring health drinks to my studio? they weren& #39;t there before I stepped out for lunch
M:
M: yeah, im sure they were worried. drink them well

M, getting a call at 4am, picking up: fu— y-yea??
SJ, panicking and crying: hyung, odengie is throwing up and it looks bad I don& #39;t know what to do, please help—
M, already grabbing his shirt and running out the house: I& #39;ll call the 24 hour vet and pick you up in 10, be downstairs

[filming I Need U]

M1, slamming JK against the shutters:
M2, glaring at JK:
JK, smacking M1& #39;s arm away, glaring at him:
PD: ok, CUT
JK: lmao
M1: DONT & #39;lmao& #39; US THAT WAS LOUD. IS YOUR SHOULDER OKAY
M2: KOOK WE DIDNT MEAN TO HURT YOU
JK: im fine OJO
PD:
PD: we& #39;ll end here today...

[back when HS has to hold a snake]

HS, screaming:
BTS: LMAAAOOOO
M:
-later-
M: ok everyone lets go
HS: I never wanna do that again :& #39;((
M, ushering them away from the enclosure:
M:
M, turning to look at the snake over his shoulder:
M, glaring at the snake and grumbling: >:(

[at a fansign]

TH, playing with fans& #39; feelings by putting on and taking off a hat:
Fanboy (FB) from the back: TAEHYUNG-AH
TH: O_O
TH, obediently and apologetically putting the hat back on in slow motion:
M, backstage, laughing his fucking ass off:

[at a fansign]

Fangirl (FG): jimin! it& #39;s naughty!!!
JM, looking down at his shirt and realizing too many buttons are undone:
JM: wHERE ARE YOU LOOKING
Fans: SJAHDG
M:
-later that night-
M, stitching the shirt up:
JM: hyung, that& #39;s excessive..
M: it& #39;ll be a nice sweater, jimin

[at a fansign]

HS, receiving the SUPREME gun that shoots money: WAOW THIS IS GR9
M, at the same time, palming his face: oh no this is a disaster

[at a fansign]

FG, being cute: I& #39;LL SUE MIN YOONGI BECAUSE HE MAKES ME SUFFER
YG:
M2, backstage, deadpan: dont. he didn& #39;t have the money back then, but he has the money to bury your case now
M1, backstage:
M1, backstage: can you please, for 5 seconds, stop being a buzzkill

[after a fansign]

JM, having kept a cat hairband: hyung c& #39;mere!!!
M:
M, goes over:
JM, putting the cat hairband onto M& #39;s head: !!!!!!!! uwu
M:
M: jimin wh
JM: CUTE
M:
JM: you know what to do
M:
M, visibly exhausted, sighing:
M, painstakingly putting up a two peace signs: oowoo.

[after a fansign]

YG, turning to M: today, a fan told me her mixtape saved her life
M:
M: your music is special yoongi
YG:
M: BTS& #39; music too. RM& #39;s too, and JHope& #39;s too.
YG:
M: all of the members will have their own projects someday. it& #39;ll be good.
YG:
M: you& #39;re all saving lives.

[filming I Need U]

PD: okay boys you all have to act like gangsters. its ok if you play it up a bit
BTS: OWO
PD: and.. action
TH, aggressively sucking a lollipop:
HS, screaming at the top of his lungs:
YG, squatting down on the ground:
M:
M: these kids are hopeless seriously

M, entering the waiting room:
TH, JM & JK freezing, their hands all on the table with their asses up in the air:
M:
M: whats going on
TH: twerking competitio—
M, leaving the room:

[BTS Home Party practice]

M, watching SOPE practice for their duet:
M: .. :& #39;))

NJ: sailor moon is an institution
M:
M: explain
NJ, rambling: It had girls being actual human beings instead of sexualized dolls, and it never reduced any of the Sailors down to one stereotype like, ‘tomboy,’ or, ‘likes baking.& #39; Internalized misogyny is a real proble—
M:
M: .. :)

M1, looking over M3& #39;s shoulder: is that fanart
M3, shrieking and throwing his phone in the air:
M2, catching it: oh its namjin
M3: GIVE IT BACK
M1: so its namjin for you huh
M3: HYUNG
NJ, walking in: what& #39;s going o—
M2, panicking, throwing the phone out the window:
M3, screaming:

M, getting ready for bed:
M, randomly thinking about & #39;strong power thank you& #39;:
M:
M, snickering hysterically:

JK, dabbing in front of M for the first time:
M:
M: what is that
JK: DABBING!!
M: looks ridiculous
JK: IT& #39;S FROM THE US HYUNG ITS COOL!! OJO
M:
M: ok
M: just dont let it become a habit
-2 years later-
JK, dabbing very purposefully at M:
M:
M, sighing very loudly, dabbing back:

M, at home over the holidays:
M& #39;s mother: hows the jjigae!!
M, deadpan: it& #39;s k-kaepjjang
M& #39;s entire family:
M:
M, under his breath: god fucking damn it, yoongi

BTS & M, having chinese takeout:
NJ, getting up: ok guys sleep early we have a meeting with Bang PD in the morning
NJ, grabbing a fortune cookie and stuffing it entirely into his mouth as he leaves:
M, running after him: NAMJOON NOT AGAIN
YG: seriously how is that guy alive

[BTS on the vogue party bus]

BTS, getting up and dancing to their own music: :DDDDD!!!!!!
M, watching them: :)
NJ & YG, wrapping their whole hands around the pole:
M: NAMJOON, YOONGI NO—

[movie night]

M2, bringing in popcorn: what are we watching today
M1, snorting: what about & #39;faker& #39;
BTS: LMAAAAOOO
YG:
YG: Im never speaking english again

BTS, being instructed to hug or kiss as a punishment on variety shows: EYeyuGHG
M:
-at the dorm-
JM: jungkook cmere :(
JK, going over: :(
NJ: whats this
JM: kookie& #39;s sad
SJ: whos sad
YG: kook
HS: o no :(
TH, piling on top: :(
BTS: in a puppy pile, hugging:
JK: .. :& #39;)
M:
M: ... :)

M, shopping for groceries:
M, passing by a musical instruments store and seeing a display recorders:
M, remembering that one (1) time HS played the recorder with his nose:
M:
M, snorting out loud:

M, having a shitty day:
M, meeting eyes with SJ across the room:
SJ:
SJ, giving M a passionate hand kiss:
M:
M:
M, catching it and eating it:
SJ, laughing out loud: !!!!! :D
M:
M, feeling a bit better: .. :)

M1: its the no more dream dance break for me
M2: rly? I like baepsae
M3, joining them: what are you guys talking about? owo
M1: best hoseok dance break
M3, glancing over his shoulder: ooh. aren& #39;t all of them good tho?
M1: true
HS, standing behind a pillar, eavesdropping: !!! :& #39;D

M, frowning: ..you should host every variety show in this country
SJ, sitting next to M, bewildered: ?
M: and act
SJ: ???
M: your singing is good too tho..
SJ: ?????
M:
M, getting up and leaving, patting SJ on the shoulder: basically, you go ahead and do it all kid
SJ:
SJ: .. :& #39;)

M, tidying up Genius Lab while YG& #39;s away:
M, noticing YG& #39;s Soft Blanket candle is almost down to nothing:
M:
-later-
M, at home, on the Yankee Candle site:
M:
M, going to a wholesale site instead, ordering the candles in bulk:

M, at home:
M, watching the video TH posted on twitter with his lip ring:
M:
M, scrambling to call TH:
TH: hello—
M: dID YOU JUST FUCKING EAT THE—

JK, staring at his microphone: ojo
M:
JK, putting the microphone into his mouth: OJO
M, sighing, pulling it out of JK& #39;s mouth: dont do that kook

JK, eating a popsicle: ojo
M:
JK, pulling out a piece of plastic with his tongue: OJO
M, sighing, taking it out of JK& #39;s mouth: do something about your oral fixation seriously

[at ISAC]

NJ: remember, we& #39;re having a comeback soon :) the important thing is that no one gets injured :)) we& #39;re all here to have fun :))) ok??
JK: tH—
M, smacking a hand over JK& #39;s mouth:
The rest of BTS, leaving the room:
M:
M, releasing JK:
JK: —ERE& #39;S NO SUCH THING AS FUN

[at ISAC, Men& #39;s 400m Relay Race]

JM, running, 2nd place:
HS, running, 2nd place:
YG, running, 2nd place:
JK, RUNNING, HELL BENT ON 1ST PLACE, THINKING: BITCH U FUCKIN THOUGHT—
M, using a loudhailer: JUNGKOOK STOP CUSSING IN YOUR HEAD, I CAN HEAR YOU

[at ISAC, archery event]

YG, aiming:
YG, scoring 0:
YG, yelling at no one in particular: aHH, THAT WAS A GOOD PRACTICE ROUND
M:
M, texting YG: & #39;yoongi, this isn& #39;t RUN BTS& #39;
YG, checking his phone: >:(
M: & #39;basically, you can& #39;t cheat like that. stop embarrassing yourself& #39;
YG: .. :(

[at ISAC, Men& #39;s 400m Relay Race]

JK, finishing first, slicing through the line with his baton like a sword: :DDD!!!!!!!
M, sighing fondly from up in the stands: I told him not to fucking do that..
BTS, screaming and jumping on JK: AAAAHHH
JK: DJSJKJDJDS HYUNG STOP—
M:
M: .. :)

[at ISAC, after the Men& #39;s 400m Relay Race]

YG, laying on the ground and pretending to hyperventilate:
BTS, ignoring him:
YG, sulking and pouting and getting up:
M:
-5 mins later-
YG, doing exactly the same thing:
M, watching from up in the stands, snorting: hes so obvious jfc

[in USA]

INT: so what about girls
NJ, panicking: wE WANT TO FOCUS. ON OUR. CAREERS
BTS: ʷᵉ ʷᵃnᵗ ᵗᵒ ᶠᵒᶜᵘˢ ᵒn ᵒᵘʳ ᶜaʳᵉᵉʳˢ ʸᵉᵃ ᵒᵘʳ ᶜᵃʳᵉeᵉʳˢ ʸᵃᵉʰ
M1, backstage, snorting his tea trying not to laugh:
M3, next to M1, shrieking quietly: hYUNG!! THATS DISGUSTIN—

[BTS on stage, performing Fire]

YG, adlibbing with moans:
TH, switching up the bOw WoW wOw:
NJ, sweating BULLETS:
JK, looking mad but also HOT™:
JM, slut dropping with bedroom eyes:
HS, smirking hard into the camera:
SJ, JUST BEING KIM SEOKJIN:
M, backstage:
M: what a handful

TH, holding up a brochure: hyung..
M: no
JK: :& #39;( but hyung..
M: NO.
-3 days later, at the Anime Festival of Asia-
TH, disguised as kaneki ken with the mask: :DDD!!!
JK, disguised as male!kirishima touka with the mask: :DDD!!!
M, disguised as tsukiyama shuu with the mask, sighing:

M:
NJ: 5 years guys
BTS:
M:
NJ:
NJ: 5 years
BTS:
M:
NJ, tearing up: can you believe that? 5 years..
BTS, crying:
M:
M: many more.
NJ, looking at M:
BTS, looking at M:
M:
M, raising his glass: many more years to come.
BTS, raising their glasses:
M: ... you guys are really amazing.

NJ, walking past M, shouting: GUYS AOKI HYUNG SAYS HE& #39;LL COME FOR DINNER
M:
JM, screaming from his room: BUT WHAT DO I WEAR
JK, screaming from his room: NO ONE CARES ITS JUST AOKI HYUNG
M, remembering the boys used to share a single room, all alone with no idol friends:
M: .. :)

SJ, on his phone:
M:
M, sitting down next to him: whatre you doing
SJ: watching people react to our MVs
M:
M: .. why
SJ: it& #39;s fun
M:
SJ:
SJ: the goal is to make them cry
M:
M: jin you cant just say things like that—

M: no
YG, crossing his arms: >:(
M: seriously. i wouldnt say anything but ive specifically been told to tell you not to do this
YG: >:(
NJ, passing by: ?? What—
M: he wants to wear all black to the airport again
NJ: hyung that& #39;s the 3rd time this week
YG, arms still folded: >:(((

M, shouting up the stairs: JUNGKOOK DO THE DAMN LAUNDRY ITS BEEN DAYS
JK, screaming back: YOURE NOT MY MOM YOU CANT TELL ME WHAT TO DO
TH, yelling from his room: HE SORT OF IS THOUGH
JM, yelling from his room: HES JUST DOING HIS JOB KOOK
M:
M: YEAH, DO WHAT YOUR MOTHER TELLS YOU—

M, cleaning JM& #39;s room, sighing as he puts away 382492318 BT21 plushies:

JK: :& #39;((
M:
M: what happened
JK: i got kicked out of my guild.. i was too inactive
M: is there a rule about how often you have to be online?
JK: no.. but because of the comeback, I couldn& #39;t play for a long time..
M:
M, getting up: come on. hyung will buy you ice cream
JK:
JK: :& #39;)

SJ & M, cooking:
SJ: what do you call a fake noodle
M:
M: jin..
SJ: aN IMPASTA
M:
M, brandishing a ladle: I& #39;ll finish up the fucking spag on my own, get OUT OF THIS KITCHEN—

M, frowning at his Tinder account: i seriously need to get a girlfriend
NJ, beside him, blinking: then go?
M, narrowing his eyes at NJ: why do you think I cant
NJ: I dont—
SJ, throwing cheetos across the living room at JK:
TH & JM, screaming for no reason:
NJ:
NJ, tiredly: I see

YG: a long time ago i wanted to get tattoos
M:
M: so go? its your choice
YG, mumbling shyly: I know that now. Nams told me that too, but.. if I wanna do charity work in the future, it wont look good. And I wanna do charity stuff, so..
M:
M, patting YG& #39;s head: .. :)
YG:
YG: :)

M, remembering TH giving the camera bedroom eyes and body rolls:
M, staring at TH across the table as he chokes on a chicken nugget and screams, getting ketchup and chilli all over himself:
M:
M, getting up with a sigh to find tissues: the duality of these fucking kids..

[Filming Daydream MV]

JH: i kinda miss the other guys.. :// is that weird?
M:
M: no
-later, coming one by one-
NJ & SJ: We heard you had a break
TH: HYUNG I WANNA CAMEO
YG: i was just passing..
JK, filming HS: OJO!!!
JM: I bought your birthday present!!
HS: YOU GUYS :& #39;D
M:
M: :)

[When TH was shooting Hwarang]

M, picking up TH:
TH: .. :(
M:
M: whats wrong
TH: .. i& #39;m just.. really tired..
M:
TH: .. since our schedule is packed, sometimes I worry about whether I can do well.. both for BTS and for the drama..
M:
M: youre doing well, tae.
TH:
TH: .. :& #39;)))

M, taking a nap on the sofa:
JM, lifting M& #39;s arm and cuddling for a nap:
TH, flopping on top of M for a nap:
JK, spooning M for a nap:
M, waking up:
M:
M, sighing:
M: .. :)

JK: happy father& #39;s day
M:
M: jungkook, I don& #39;t even have a girlfriend—
YG, from behind M: thanks kook

NJ: hyung I& #39;m going for a walk do you wanna come
M, thinking about how long NJ& #39;s walks are, how tired he is and how soft the sofa he& #39;s laying on feels:
M, remembering how happily NJ giggles watching M mimic JM taking Kim Dailies when he snaps pics of NJ at night:
M:
M: I& #39;ll come

M, meeting up with a friend who& #39;s a Manager at SM for lunch:
SMM, sighing:
M:
M: what& #39;s up
SMM: my boys keep sneaking out.. since they& #39;re not rookies anymore, Dispatch is a pain
M:
SMM: don& #39;t you get worried about your kids? it& #39;ll be big news if it& #39;s BTS
M, confused:
M: no never

[in the car]

BTS:
M:
BTS:
M:
YG: im bored
NJ: hyung play the of course game with me
JM: I& #39;ll play too!
TH: me tooooo uwu~~
YG: loser has to go skydiving, bungee jumping and take 5 rollercoasters before the next comeback
TH, NJ & JM: DEAL
M: nO—

[in the car]

BTS:
M:
BTS:
M:
HS: LETS PLAY A GAME
SJ: ROCK PAPER SCISSORS
JK: THE LOSER HAS TO HIKE UP KOTA KINABALU
M: WILL YOU IDIOTS FUCKING STOP—

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