Thread by @jokesfrommars, Do you like #dating #jokes? Well I'm told that I am one!Here's [...]

Do you like #dating #jokes? Well I'm told that I am one!

Here's a THREAD full:

"I should be better on first dates."
"They're the only ones I do."

I'm great on first dates.

Women never need a second.

I really struggle with women.

Even when I date one at a time.

I only date women over 30.

I'm not getting any younger.

I've dated a lot of women

but they'll never tell you that.

Some of my first dates go so badly for the women, they lead to a second.

If you think first dates are tough, you should try them in the restaurants I can afford.

I'm so poor, I can't afford for first dates to go well.

I'm so poor, I go on dinner dates hoping to take the food home.

I love dinner dates.

If I'm getting rejected, I'll take that with fries.

Tinder doesn't work for me.

I'm not competitive, facially.

I used to be great with women.

Then I wasn't so great, with the same women.

I once asked a girl out for dinner.

She said, “I’ve already eaten.”

I said, “I didn’t say which day yet.”

She said, “I didn’t say how much I’d eaten.”

Better to cut a bad date short than to get upset.

If she's not into me, I won't make a meal out of it.

If you’re seeing someone who has been divorced there’s a 50/50 chance you’re dating the reason why.

It takes guts to ask a woman out.

Especially the ones I pick.

I believe in love at first sight.

I don’t have the money to ‘see how things go’.

Show me a woman that doesn’t split the check and I’ll show that woman a cheaper restaurant.

Women often talk about bad dates to lighten up their current dates.

So that’s where you might know me from.

I’m that guy all the women are talking about.

I prefer to date women my own age.

Unfortunately, they're old enough to know better.

I’ve had a bunch of one night stands.

If women sleep with me, that’s where they draw the line.

I prefer older women.

The most attractive thing about a younger woman is her mother.

All of my failures have been with women, but let’s talk about their failures. Let’s talk about me.

I once split up with a girl in Mexico.

I don’t remember her name but I never forget a place.

The type of woman I go for takes eighteen months to realise I’m not the one.

It’s easier to pick up women once I put myself down.

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